As previously reported by NBC Washington, the World Naked Bike Ride will be scrotal chaffing this Saturday at 3pm. As always, BYT will continue our tradition of supporting all things involving less than pants.
So I poked around on their typo-riddled (yeah yeah, we’re one to talk) ugly ass web site:
Where?
Franklin Park
13th and K Streets NW
When exactly?
Saturday, June 13 at 3 p.m.
How Long?
About 8 inches. Kidding.
“ride for an hour (about 2 miles), disband, clean up the area and leave by 6:00 pm.”
clean up? Gross.
Why naked?
“Breifly we it is to protest oil dependency. Protest indecent exposure to vehicle emissions. Protest all dehumanising and destructive effects of car-culture. Show your vulnerability as a cyclist on our roads and celebrate the power and individuality of your own body.”
Now I’m not quite sure I see the correlation between nude bike riding and oil dependency awareness, perhaps the reduced air friction makes the bike a faster and therefore more attractive alternative? Although the increased taint friction seems like it would balance that out.
Will I be arrested?
“This is First Amendment Activity and DC law specifically covers the issue of clothing and protest. We were told that nudity was OK and had one of our members go naked without incident last year. If you want to be 100% safe wear something over your genitals (like a flesh colored sack or G-string). This year we had planned on going naked, but Amy at the NPS has decided not to honor our First Amendment Rights and has threatened to arrest anyone completely naked. See the “What to Wear” page for more info.”
Fuck you Amy!! Ok kids, let’s get our flesh colored sacks out of the closet. The 52-year old ringleader “Roger” anticipated 100 riders this year, ages 20 to 60. Hm… I’m guessing this is going to turn out more like a crusty old naked hippie fest with lots of va-jay-jays that look like someone kick-fucked a rotting hog carcass, as opposed to my fantasy of sexy hipster chicks in nothing but glasses.
Uh oh. They have a flesh colored sack visual aide.
BYT is officially un-endorsing this event now. You’ve been warned.
where’s the whole set? there has to be more than a dick cozy.
June 3, 2008 at 2:39 pmThe idea of getting to ride my bike nude was intriguing and exciting. But what false advertising!?!? Band aids on my titties and a flesh thong is far to close to my normal bike riding attire thus, they sucked all the fun out of it.
June 3, 2008 at 2:52 pmA sock will work.
June 3, 2008 at 4:18 pmYeah sure where am I going to find a 2 inch sock?
June 3, 2008 at 4:50 pmIf it’s two whole inches, you’ll need to wrap your pecker real well in reflective tape so as cars won’t hit it. And maybe a blinking light on each nard.
June 3, 2008 at 8:54 pmThe woman in the litte thumbnail has a really impressive waist to hip ratio.
June 11, 2009 at 1:46 pmHaha this is sweet
June 11, 2009 at 3:40 pmhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CTPLUcQAjk
June 11, 2009 at 11:05 pmHahhahaha..a dick cozy!!! That is freaking hilarious!
June 11, 2009 at 11:21 pmguys. meat sleeve. come on.
June 12, 2009 at 1:47 pmThis ride has been a blast in 2007, 2008 and even this years ride (2009). Next year we are hoping for an even bigger number. Oh yeah, there were even a couple of women that put Liquid Latex Body Paint on thier breasts this year. They said it was so much cooler then wearing the normal bra an shirt.
July 19, 2009 at 9:31 pmAskar, her orange pack makes it look like she has a tiny waist.
July 20, 2009 at 12:18 am
Awww, it’s a dick cozy
June 3, 2008 at 2:29 pm