BrightestYoungThings: Day 5: The Unbroken Circle

"In Nashville, we disdain the flesh," the handsome hayseed said. I had eyeballed him from across the room at Springwater Supper Club, Nashville's premier indie rock venue long oft-praised for its stellar sound system and smoke-free atmosphere. I had made eyes at this cowpoke for some minutes, intending to spirit him away to one of Springwater's sparkling bathrooms and have my way with him. But, when I approached, I could barely utter my signature line - "I'll guess your sign if you can guess mine" - before my mark shut me down.

"But what's your quarrel with the flesh?" I queried.

"I am an hardscrabble country singer trying to make it on the streets of this hardscrabble country town," the bucking bronco explained. "Though I'm attracted to your beauteous blonde locks and handlebar moustache, I must recognize that country music has its roots in old time religion - a Christ-cult unfriendly to sex in general and the love of a man for another man in particular. If I were found to be engaging in an affair with a person of your persuasion, neither my record label, nor my booking agent, nor my producer, nor my tour bus driver, nor my manager, nor my manager's manager would smile upon it."

"But can't you live life on the D.L.?" I countered.

"The D.L.?" the would-be Garth Brooks replied. "What's the D.L.?"

"According to Wikipedia," I explained, "'Down-low is a slang term that refers to men who have sex with men (MSM) discreetly and that are often in the closet about being gay or bisexual. The term has its origins in African-American slang - '"

The potential Ernest Tubb cut me off. "African-Americans are not part of my subculture," he protested.

"' - but it is not exclusive to that group,'" I finished. "Perhaps you should read the entire Wikipedia entry for yourself, and embrace the D.L. If you must remain closeted, at least do not remain celibate. A life on the D.L. may improve your emotional health."

"Your offer is tempting," the Juice-Newton-in-the-making replied, "but I do not trust Wikipedia. As every college professor knows, the popular website is user-controlled and, as such, cannot be cited in term papers."

"A country singer who disdains both the flesh and Wikipedia," I marveled.

"As the great Tammy Wynette implied," the next Hank Williams III explained, "one must 'stand by' one's primary source material."

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