Also known as the episode in which not just Kenley BUT EVERYONE and THEIR GAY LOVER cries.
The crying works started last morning when the (motley) crew visited Regis & Kelly, and went on for all of 60 minutes of yesterday. My bones hurt from all the moisture in my TV.
Anyway, I am pretty sure they used to do a 2 hour finale, but this season they decided to chop it up into pt. 1 and pt. 2.
It just prolongs the pain an extra week, I guess, and lets Bravo cling onto the show a little longer, before it runs its merry way over to Lifetime, where I can only hope they introduce teenage pregnancy, battered spouses and drug problems like they do in their movies to spice things up a little.
I can already see it: Design a perfect dress for Tori Spelling to wear in “Awake to Danger, THE SEQUEL”.
That actually may be worth tuning into.
But we have this to deal with first:
The episode kicks off with Heidi informing them that the challenge is to roll out some wedding dresses for the final challenge and sends them to their respective homes with 8000 $ a pop to sew till their little fingers bleed.
And then “Bachelor”-finale style, Tim ventures off to visit them in their natural abodes and meet their friends, families and collections.
This is how that goes down:
First up, he pops in to see Korto in Arkansas. The collection is pretty. Her daughter is adorable. Korto is a drummer! All is good and then (probably in prep for the Lifetime jump) we hear her sad (truly sad) tale of escaping Liberia during the civil war and finding a whole new world in the US. Tears happen.
Then its off to Portland to see Leanne. Leanne is dorky and cute and so is her boyfriend and her whole collection is so pretty I just want to put it on myself and never take it off. Bonus points: Tim gets to ride a tandem bike (which you can totally see Leanne and her dorky and cute boyfriend being tooooo dorky and tooooo cute on on a regular basis) and wear a bike helmet and sit under a tree while Leanne tells him about her childhood dreams while a fuzzy photo montage happens in the background.
After that magical time, he goes to visit Jerrell in LA, who, and I hate to say it, made the GHETTO-EST collection of all time, all crappy bustiers and chainmail and cheap ass looking fabrics. And then Tim gets to hang out with Jerrel’s pretty mom and sister, and his “love interest” and hear about Jerell growing up in a N.W.A video and his Dad being a truck driver. Jerell cries.
And then its Kenley time. Kenley lives in a teeny apartment in Brooklyn, paints fabrics, has a photo of her grandmother above her bed, uses rope in a lot of her design (My dad was a tugboat captain!!!!! remember!!!!) and apparently has no friends or family to speak of (because, ahem, she is a raging bitch, ahem) since Tim does not get to meet anyone.
And then its TWIST TIME.
Now that they are in NY and all sharing the same suite (exactly how many times did they zoom in onto Westin’s signage?) not only do they have to finish their wedding dress BUT they need to make a bridesmaid’s dress to match.
(I can see you yawning already).
Then its: mood, sew, passive agressiveness, and repeat. Plus Korto crying because “she likes everyone, even goddamn Kenley, and does not want them to go home”. Plus Tim crying because “he is so proud of all of them”. Plus me cutting some onions in my living room so I can partake in the fun. Just for good measure.
Cutting to the runway
Leanne and Kenley do best.
My roommate frowns and says: “The bitch is going through”, and downs and extra glass of vino.
The runway photos Bravo has up suck some serious ass but this is the top of Leanne’s dress:
and this is the top of Kenley’s
Its the bottoms that are actually fun and crafty with both of these but hey, its not my fault they have shitty on-set photography.
Kenley’s bridesmaid dress is something I need. Tomorrow.
Korto gets slammed a little for being “overlabored” and not fun, and she cries some more next to her messy ruched and rumpled and pleated numbers
and Jerrel gets crucified for his “love it from the waist down but the wings on boobs, the diamonds on boobs, the diamonds under boobs and the flower pot on head” number
and predictably gets sent home.
Leaving this to be the first ever all-girls-all-the-time finalist finale.
Who do you think will win?
I want to say Leanne, but it is as open of a (bitchy) field as it ever was.
Next week, we liveblog the collections.
You have my word on it.
So-cancel all poker games in advance.
i was hoping kenley would go home but after seeing jerell’s line, it was obvious he shouldn’t be showing that at bryant park. it was horrible.
and leanne’s line, while pretty it may be, everything is exactly the same.
i’m pulling for korto.
October 9, 2008 at 10:39 amYuk, Korto? Really? YAWN! Soccer Mom clothes. Ick. I *loved* Leanne and Kenley’s both, although why the bright blue with the canary yellow dress, not perhaps the best choice of color for bridesmaid’s dress, since you couldn’t entirely tell they went together…Jerell’s dress was great, I personally wouldn’t wear it but I know that people would. Who would wear Korto’s dress? Um, No One but 40 year old soccer moms. … but the rest of Jerrels line really was awful and garrish, so they probably made the right choice. I hope Kenley wins, why? I don’t know why. I feel a tug tug tug in my heart for the tugboat captains daughter…ha. Or maybe she just impressed me by not letting everyone get her down and returning with a smile on her face and the determination to “all just get along”. They all did call her out and she didnt have to be nice.
October 9, 2008 at 11:43 amI’m rooting for Leanne at fashion week.
As for last night’s episode, I’m glad Jerrell got the boot because his collection was fugly, but I thought Korto’s wedding dress was way worse (even though her collection seemed pretty cool when Tim visited). So if you were really going to judge just based on the last challenge, I would have kept Jerrell over Korto.
October 9, 2008 at 11:48 ami thought korto’s wedding dress was hideous! but i liked her line better than jerell’s.
i didn’t think leannes wedding dress was wonderful, i thought that the skirt should have had a thir tier or something. he reminded me of the towers on st. perter’s cathedral. weird. but i liked her bridesmaid dress.i thought kenley’s bridemaid dress was too short. i mean it was cute, but not very wedding-y.
October 9, 2008 at 11:54 ami’m sad to see jerell go. but that’s only because i liked to call him Jor-El (it made it seem a little less gay and a lot more nerdy for me to be watching.)
so kenley has no friends and lives in brooklyn. shocker.
as for leanne, this may be the first time ever that someone left the east coast for portland with $8000 and didn’t spend it all on heroin. (i’m sure she spent some of it on heroin, this is portland we’re talking about.)
uh, korto, uh…that wedding dress was ugly (horrible silhouette.) good job on the drumming though!
p.s. i’m not really sad to see jerell go. i never had anything against him, but his line did pretty much suck.
also, after my huge win last week, i’m considering retiring from the amateur poker circuit. lucky for you.
amanda, i know what you mean about leannes dress. forgot about that part. it was a little weird on the bottom… but i love that she had little pockets hidden in the pleats.
October 9, 2008 at 4:14 pmthe pleat pockets were my favorite part!
everything is better with pockets!
my prom dress had hidden pockets, and pleats. and if you were at that razzmatazz, you know how awesome it was.
October 9, 2008 at 4:22 pmi wish everyone had a/v capability on their ‘puters, cuz i would put bowie’s ‘fashion’ on really loud and dance around in my skivvies for you guys during the livevlog. just a thought.
p.s. those pleat-pockets were for blow. and weed. but mostly blow.
October 9, 2008 at 4:25 pmeddie, are you saying that blow has replaced the traditional flask?
October 9, 2008 at 6:47 pmAmanda, sorry I missed it. People were not so inventive at my prom. But me, I wore a long fitted dress covered in tiny beads with a racerback, it sounds tacky but was actually so cool that I kept it, I’m trying to figure out how to get a seamstress to keep the beading but make it into a shorter dress with a flounce skirt, for going out…
October 10, 2008 at 11:44 am
So Gawker has a photo up for Kenley that is amazing and true: http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/gawker/2008/10/Picture_2_03.png
Also, her dresses were TOTES McQueen rips and I’m super glad “Top American Designer” Michael Kors told her so. She’s still a bitch, but damnit. I did like her line .. her full collection is a bit much.
Leanne FTW. But Korto’s green and yellow pieces are AMAZING
October 9, 2008 at 9:53 am