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Project Runway: Surf’s Down

September 4, 2009 by Svetlana

This week, Project Runway continues its slow descent into mediocrity with a …. SURF CHALLENGE?
Really?
I mean, is it just me, or is this meant to mostly be utilitarian fashion? Don’t you just hate it when your reality TV lets you down?

Anyway, in some sort of a phantom connection with Top Chef (even tho they’re not even on the same network anymore) the contestants worked in pairs, and one of the people from the winning team ended up in the bottom.
And that person was Mitchell.
And Mitchell got eliminated.
And now, while I am relieved to never see his weaselly face again, I have zero opinions left about any of the contestants remaining and will probably stop watching.

The episode went by in swift swoops starting with the designer’s going to the beach, Tim Gunn wearing flip-flops (and a blazer) there being a random “team captain” selection out a hat (at least in seasons past it was based on some kind of idea sketching merit, but as I’ve said before, we’re obviously not on Bravo anymore) and they all set merrily on their way.

You knew Epperson (who made up for not speaking in the last 2 episodes by not shutting up at all) and Qrystl would be in the bottom due to being at each other’s throats NON-STOP and the second Nicolas pulled out that lace out of his Russian ass, and Gordana went along with it, I knew that we were walking down an Eastern European stripper road, and there was no way back.

Everyone else just worked merrily along (almost too merrily for my taste: Logan, for example, has had approximately 30 seconds screen time total in 3 episodes, he needs to step his drama game up a bit) aside from, SHOCKER! the Ra’mon and Mitchell duo which mostly involved Ra’mon freaking out about Mitchell (who, btw, was the job captain) not doing any work and Mitchell, well, not doing any work. Now, you guys, I went to art school (and shamefully so, the same art school Mitchell went to) and if I was Ra’mon, I would have killed the little social butterfly devil-child within the first ten minutes of the show.

Then the “surprise” twist came and they had to do another “avant-guarde” outfit that would compliment their beachwear look. And everyone freaked out and you know, it was the most thinly veiled un-surprise ever. OF COURSE THERE IS A TWIST. THIS IS PROJECT RUNWAY NERDS. (plus, people, come on, there’s 2 of you and you’re making a beach cover up? that shit should not take 2 days)

There was also some sort of a thinly veiled Garnier promotion re: the model’s hair, and some minor model drama becase Erika, the red-headed model did decide to take that Arby’s commercial she was wait listed for and Carol Hannah had to replace her. Seriously, people, Arby’s?

Anyway, in the end Ra’mon won for being the martyr that he was this episode (the dyed green dress was a dream though-I’d hike that hemline up a bunch and wear it EVERYWHERE) and the Qrystl/Epperson shipwreck and the Nicolas/Gordana stripperwreck got saved by the fact that no one could even pretend that Mitchell did anything at all, ever, and so he got eliminated.

He said something about not being sad for “being himself” and you know, you should be sad Mitchell.

You should be.

THOUGHTS, COMMENTS? What needs to happen for me to be excited for this again? WHAT?

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