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Project Runway Recap: Tim, We’re Not On Bravo Anymore

August 21, 2009 by Svetlana

All thank the TV Gods-Project Runway is back.
And while, sure, it is now on Lifetime and not on Bravo (there will be more crying), and in LA and not in NY (there will be more driving), and at FiDM and not Parsons-it still has Tim and Heidi (and all of Heidi’s teeth and legs) and Nina and Michael and all those other things we’ve grown to know and love over the years. And I’d have it no other way.

There were also 2 other things going on during the big season premiere yesterday: a star studded challenge (which I did not see because I was having dinner and did not have a chance to review on DVR yet), and “Models of The Runway” (which I did not see because I was asleep and because Model based show have stopped holding my interest back when….) BUT I DID SEE THE MEAT IN THAT FASHION SEX SANDWICH: The SEASON PREMIERE OF SEASON 6.

So, lets talk (and hope I remember this correctly):
No one seemed too overtly annoying or star bound like Santino, say, or Christian, straight off the bat.
There was a series of fey looking boys (most notably Logan Nietzel whom we interviewed last year on the basis of his “Tom Ford for Prez” tshirt fame), who is adorable and presumably straight, an ex-med student who gave up neurosurgery for fashion (this will be the equivalent of “Top Chef”’s MIT drop-out now cooking savant Kevin), a bunch of interchangeable blonde girls, a bunch of interchangeable brunette girls, a rather scary seeming Serbian woman from Charleston (we, as a country, always mean busiiness), an adorable rastafarian Dad, the token androgynous Asian kid, a feisty plus sized black lady (I don’t call it plus size, I call it plus sexy), a self thought emo kid from Minnesota and an ex-meth addict from LA (who will be forming the crying circle for this season), Mitchell from Savannah (why does my alma mater produce all the whiny duds on this show?) and … ARI.
Ari, who does not sketch but meditate, who “loves fabric”, who just wants to play, who looks like an adorable french gamine in all her on-screen interviews but when seen in action so desperately and panicky wants to seem special and different. Ari, who, frankly, did not stand a chance.

I made this handy guide to help guide you through them:

So-the challenge, them all being in LA and all was to do a red carpet gown.
Color me oh-so-predictable Lifetime.
It could be a gown for the Oscars, or Emmys, or Grammys or VMAs.
Their call.
A day and a half and 200 dollars and 30 minutes of sketching and 30 minutes of shopping (and 2+ hours of LA traffic)

And so they merrily set off to do what they (felt they) needed to do.

• The meth head started promptly crying, completely fullfilling Lifetime’s “Movie of the week” sponsorship requirement for this episod.
• Ari made a geodome diaper
• Mitchell was making some godforsakenly gross tie-dye Victorian number which you just knew would not end well
• The “plus sexy” lady bought some ugly purple fabric and attached some ugly wannabe-Pucci fabric on top and called it special
• No one cared about the interchangeable blonde girls and brunette girls so I don’t know what they were doing
• The neurosurgeon almost cried “at the possibility of his dress being worn on red carpet”
• and the emo kid from MN kept pulling the Keith (remember that annoying self-righteous, self-thought gay Mormon kid from season 5?) and staring at the camera and saying “Even though I don’t have formal training I DESERVE to be here”

Tim walked around, frowned, pulled, sporadically complimented people, said “Figure it out” instead of “Work it out” and hugged the poor, little, alone meth head in a moment made for Lifetime heaven.

THEN IT WAS RUNWAY TIME and all was as usual aside from the fact that

• a. LINDSAY MFing LOHAN was judging (which naturally made all the gays go beserk and wave at her across the stage)
• b. Mitchell decided to ditch his dress last minute and send his model (who presumably was too tall for the initial dress?) down the runway in a see-through kaftan with a victorian collar. Good for him.

It was a pretty solid runway and in the end:

• The neurosurgeon, the meth head and the Keith-emo-MN wannabe were in the top 3 (all criers, all the time on this season) with the emo kid winning and me already hiding behind the couch from his ego inflating.

and

• The Plus sexy, Mitchell and Ari-the meditator were in the bottomg 3, with Ari going home (I almost thought they’d pull an Elysa and keep her for a minute or episode more) even though, frankly, had she said her dress was for Lady Gaga, no one could have argued with her.

In other news: Lindsay looked tired, Nina overdarkened her eyebrows and Michael wasn’t really given a chance to spread his perma-tan wings and fly but THAT’S OK. THERE ARE STILL 16 EPISODES OR SOMETHING LEFT, and we should all be grateful for that. Can’t wait for next week when the plus sexy woman gets eliminated, Mitchell and the emo kid from Minessota get into a midnight tryst and some of the brunette girls decide to bleach their hair completely confusing the producers & their interchangeability chart. Also-pretty sure the Serbian lady will yell at people in Serbian and that is always something to look forward to.

WHAT DID YOU THINK?

(you can see all the designs on Lifetime’s website, btw)

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