Project Runway: And Then There Were 14

July 24, 2008 by Svetlana  Send to a Friend

So - last night was episode 2 of Season 5 of Project Runway.
As I said last week, I will blog my way through this season even if it is the last thing I do in my life.

Before I say anything though can we just get something out of the way:
THE PREVIEWS FOR THIS EPISODE WERE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MISLEADING.
I was promised “designers cracking”, “project runway firsts”, “people losing control” and a lot of Tim Gunn frowns.

What I got (and people, I stayed in for this!) instead was: designers making a cocktail dress for their models, out of “green fabrics” that the models bought (without the designers assistance), Natalie Portman (whom I hoped someone would kill with a pair of scissors so Devendra could be single and free to have children with me again) judging and the designers “cracking” but really just trying to desperately cultivate their quirks so that they get more camera time as others.

The worst offenders: Blayne and his tan and “licious”ness (latest pearl of wisdom: Heidi being called “Darthlicious”), Suede and his creepy 3rd person singular monologues, the crazy 42 year old leather obsessed Stella (who was seen drinking some green smoothie at some point which I still maintain contained mj in it - pot smoothies! its all the rage!) and LeAnne who, right now, I am thinking is a serial killer, her demeanor is so Jennifer Jason Leigh in SWF that it is uncanny.

These are the winning and the losing designs:

And we can all notice something interesting here:
all the winners used the “champagne” silk
and all the losers were stuck in what Jerell called “The Ugly Brown Fabric team”.
Curses.

The one I liked the best was (so help me God) Blayne’s:

I mean….I’d wear it.

By the end of it all Suede won (and we will never hear the end of it, you mark my words) for his kicky, bias strips on strips number, and Wesley (my early favorite for adorably ugly boy wonder of the season) got eliminated for a “too short, too shiny, too tight, too cheap” number, with LeAnn “the silent killer” trailing behind him with a hot mess of loops and a flying saucer hat (”I just have sooooo many ideas”-she spoke to us in hushed tones).
Korto who did great last week produced the most unflattering of all numbers and Stella who is a walking disaster somehow locked into the top 3 (even though the dress looked like it belonged at an amateur night in a South Carolina border strip bar).

Right now though, there is waaaaaaay too many people for anyone to really shine through (I had to look names up, and my name memory is spotless) but here is what I think we can look forward to:

-Suede starting to change the color of his mohawk to fit his emotional state, kinda like a mood ring of sorts
-Blayne going cold turkey without a tanning bed
-Stella going cold turkey without whatever she is on
-LeAnne shaving Emily’s hair off to use as trim, while she is asleep
-Korto making someone cry
-That someone being Jennifer
-Jerrel’s shirts becoming smaller and his chest becoming shinier
-Joe, the dad, deciding they are all insane and moving back to Michigan
-Kelli and Kenley starting a clothing line together

and more.
I can’t wait

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What did you think?

If you had daggers to spare, who would you stab?
If you could spoon with someone, who would you spoon with?

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