In response to today’s Trendy Clothing Women Should Stop Wearing, NOW!, here are my 7 grievances:
1. Since when do women (women with any sense of personal style, anyways) dress for men? The adage that women dress for other women exists for a reason, but it's only partly true - women dress to make themselves feel attractive, and women want to dress attractively to make other women jealous. Period. The end. Tongue-only-slightly-in-cheek.
2. Glasses, big knit scarves, and oversized bags are not trend items. Case in point: when I was in fourth grade I wanted to have glasses so badly that I faked squinting at the blackboard and complained about headaches until my dad took me to the eye doctor. I faked my vision test so hard that I ended up as the only 11 year old in the history of the world to be issued bifocals. To this day I still have perfect vision, and I still love the look of glasses, on myself and everyone else. Bookish IS sexy, and that whole "naughty librarian" fantasy wouldn't even exist if glasses weren't wicked hot. Oh, and big scarves and oversized bags? IT'S WINTER, and I WANT to feel like I'm in a woolen cocoon. Also, and I don't know about anyone else, but "a cell phone and some chapstick" do not a survival kit make. Depending on the time of year my must-have-at-all-times-necessities include the aforementioned gigantic scarf, a pair of flats, pen & paper, magazines, a bottle of water, whatever my boyfriend has asked me to hold on to for the night because he doesn't HAVE an oversized bag, ETC and THE LIKE - which, let me tell you - is a bitch to try to stuff into a clutch.
3. Oh, high-waisted pants/shorts/skirts. Do you look good on everyone? Well, no, and there are also many dumb-looking versions of you floating around out there (but isn't that the case with EVERYTHING?). But you DO look REALLY good on those who wear you correctly, and dudes can deal with it. I mean seriously:
COME ON. That's for you, Pedro.
4. Are smock dresses and fedoras trendy? Is it 2006? Have we gone BACK to the FUTURE?
5. Big t-shirts with skinny jeans: again, I'm not really sure if this is a trend anymore or not, but The Perfectly Loose T-Shirt is timeless and to that effect, I'm going to refute that whole Hot Topic/Slipknot/laid-back-isn't-hot analogy and counter with a quote from Vice DOs and DON'Ts: "It's funny how girls spend tens of thousands of dollars on clothes and then getting new clothes and selling the old clothes, when the one we will always love more than anyone is that first girlfriend from 12th grade who wore the same shirt every day and had holes in the soles of her Chucks." Word.
6. Trend items do not equal unflattering items. I mean, I GET it;sometimes things are trendy that may be unflattering on some people, and sometimes things are trendy in a way that's OUT THERE and BEYOND THE NORM that make complete sense to people who follow those kinds of things but might not translate to those who don't (namely, dudes). I could probably come up with a laundry list of fashion-related items that are proven boner killers, but I'd rather focus on this: nothing is less attractive than slapping on trends for the sake of "covering yourself in 'cool stuff'" - it reeks of insecurity (though really, THAT may just be the trick to getting the "play" those of us in our Big Scarves and Large Bags are missing out on). YOU looking like YOURSELF and feeling confident in whatever crazy ass outfit you're excited to leave the house in that day is always going to be 100% attractive. Maybe not to everyone, but to anyone you should want to GET PLAY from. So suck it, list.
7. Just to end on a positive note, I do want to say that I did agree with just one thing Malaka mentioned: wearing sunglasses indoors is a crime against humanity.
God loves a cheerful giver.
Fact:
I will probably be wearing that CandyCane striped Fred Perry cardigan tomorrow @ my show.
Thanks for the suggestion!
thanks, mo.
THANK. YOU.
thanks for this. it's actually really on point.
while i still disagree about wearing glasses when you don't need them and i definitely disagree with your theory about the sexy librarian (because it ain't the glasses that are sexy, i assure you, it's the thought of them coming off - the idea of a metamorphosis from straight-laced book worm to dirty little monkey), i think your story of faking your vision test to get glasses is extremely cute.
As the Sugar Bear (cool, yet kinda moody and grumpy - and pantsless) of the contributors - I wholeheartedly agree with Morgan as per usual. I wasn't trying to say that women should dress for men - rather that the list managed to pinpoint all of the items that make it obvious that they don't do so. Women that REALLY dress in what they think men like often come across as crass and gross. (This is why cosmo still sells - well sorta - because women have no idea what men like them to wear and on occasion think they might like a hint - so they ask another woman - haha.)
I would always prefer that a woman dress with confidence and own her style (period) My wife is the proud owner of 50some designer scarves much to my chagrin, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
i agree with the eye roll. the last time i dressed for a dude, i was at a basement frat party freshman yr of college.
at this point, i prefer dressing for the ladies (i mean, err, myself). anything gold lame seems to work well in that arena.
I LIKE UGGS!!
oh, p.s.
mo, i feel you with the fake glasses, except i never quite took it to the extreme you did (in my youth i was afraid of all doctors and exams. i heard the rumor (true) that they would blow air into my eye and i almost had a panic attack). but i did CONSTANTLY wear these clear plastic-tubes that were bent in the shape of glasses and actually held tiny candies, much to my mother's dismay. The same obsession held true for braces. I would (shamefully) bend paper clips to the shape of my teeth and stick them in my mouth. so gross. ok, thanks for letting me share.
if only life were that easy, dollface.
xoxo
malzie
I feel like life IS that easy.
As I said I hate fedoras, baggy shirts, sunglasses inside and whatever else was in the first post (AND UGGS!!!) but if some dude does not want to go out with me because he can't see through my shirt if my breasts are a size B or a C or a double D then I'm sorry-I don't want to go out with him either.
Also, a teeny shirt/camisole tucked into my monstrously large high wasted jeans with a bunch of necklaces and a little cardigan is the outfit combination I've gotten most compliments on this year, male or female.
as always-it is about balance.
morgan you fucking heart throb you.
you just made my weekend.
svetlana: i can see how that outfit would look fabulous on you, but you're also very tall, and proportional, so it works for you. not everyone is so lucky.
Your rebuttal is much appreciated. The first post, while I agreed with the blacklisted items, was kind of pointless. People are attracted to those with confidence and it's effortless to exude it when you look like hot shit, regardless of what you are or aren't wearing. Point blank.
When I bother, it's because I want to feel good about myself. It's not controlled by what next man or woman wants to project upon me about their own inadequacies.
With that said, Uggs should really go somewhere arctic and tranquil to rest in peace. I have always known this in my heart of hearts. Now, I love and respect many people who own pairs of them. It doesn't make them bad people- just not someone I would consult for a second opinion about shoes.
if only life were that easy?
life IS REALLY THAT EASY
don't take yourself too seriously
don't take fashion too seriously
be true to yourself
and you will dress really, really well. seriously. it's THAT easy.
and thank you miss morgan
catfight!
that pretty much sums up today.
Thank you! Peeps should wear what makes them feel fun/hot/cute/dashing.
thx for the shoutout. <3 those ladies but i still think they'd look better in regular pants.
i'm going out now, if anyone sees a dude walkin around U st. in this shirt =
It is me. If you have real glasses, we can hang.
haahahaha! i want that shirt
You said everything I wanted to say in response to the other article!
And also, my boy likes my glasses and oversized t-shirts [because chances are its his t-shirt] and big purse and big scarves because they are me and he likes me.
I actually really had bifocals at age 8. No joke my vision is that bad.