Have you ever received a wedding (or any other) invitation that seemed to be written in secret code? It says “Black tie optional” and you are left wondering what exactly that means.
Is a tux required? Does my dress have to be long? Is a plain dark suit ok?
I figured we’d clear the air and have a little Dress Code 101 to break down all of the terms.
Here goes:
Black Tie Optional: If the invitation says Black Tie Optional, then a traditional tuxedo is the preferred choice of attire. If you decide not to wear a tux, a dark suit, white dress shirt and conservative tie is also appropriate. Anything less formal than this would be unacceptable… so keep your brown suit and stripped shirt at home!
For women, this means that you may wear either a cocktail dress or a dinner suit.
Black Tie: For a black tie event, men should wear the traditional black tuxedo with a formal white shirt and a black bow tie and cummerbund.
For women, this means wearing a long, floor length evening dress. If it is summer, a cocktail reception or a daytime event, then a short cocktail dress is fine. If you are showing a lot of cleavage, then throw on a wrap and keep the kids under control until the drinks are flowing and the band starts playing.
Formal usually means the same as Black Tie, but in some trendier cities it could mean a black shirt, no tie, with a tux. Women wear long dresses or dressy evening separates.
Semi-Formal: Semi-Formal or After Five means that tuxes and long dresses aren’t required. An evening wedding (after 6 PM) would still mean dark suits for him and a cocktail dress for her. Daytime semi-formal events mean a suit for him (which may be a lighter color) and an appropriate short dress or dressy suit for her.
Business Formal is the same as Semi-Formal for men, but for women it means more tailored dressy suits and dresses (aka nothing too sexy).
Dressy Casual calls for dressed-up versions of casual looks. For him, it could be trousers and a sport coat, for her dressy pants and a blouse. Jeans, shorts and T-shirts are a no-no.
Casual generally means anything goes (but anything does NOT mean “pleated pants” though-ed).
Or you can just do what I do and wear whatever the hell feels good and pretend that it’s fine.
Hey, as long as you own it, no one is going to question it!
Oooh… I thought that was a given. But pleated pants on a guy look about as good as mom jeans on a girl.
August 28, 2008 at 1:22 pmI’m going to start making and selling pleated jeans for larger Americans.
August 28, 2008 at 1:24 pmNevermind, I just remembered that Z. Cavarricci (sp?) did that in the late 1980s.
August 28, 2008 at 1:25 pmDress codes = restrictive. Particularly in a town where it can be really frustrating to shop for men’s clothing. My suggestion? Get a good tailor.
August 28, 2008 at 1:26 pmWhich one of thse is the dress code for the wedding that we are attending this weekend?!?! I hoped I packed appropriately .
August 28, 2008 at 1:35 pmI’m going to need a little more guidance. How much cleavage is too much for a formal wedding, wrap or no wrap?
August 28, 2008 at 2:03 pmIf they want it formal, they don’t want your boobs all over the place. Wraps are ok, anytime, anywhere.
August 28, 2008 at 2:07 pmWhy can’t you post links anymore?
August 28, 2008 at 2:10 pmPleated pants are not universally bad! They may not currently be fashionable, but they are not inherently evil. They can look good with the right material and the right outfit.
Not that this has anything to do with that, but look at all the kids wearing day-glo shit that the 80s vomited — is that going to be acceptable in 5 years/months? Didn’t think so.
Now when did BYT become the Gentleman’s Guide to Gentlemanry?
August 28, 2008 at 4:34 pmA few years ago, my wife and I arrived for a friend’s “black tie optional” evening wedding at the Baltimore Aquarium in July. My wife was wearing a fairly formal dress and I was in a black suit. It was hot out, and we knew we were going to bake once we realized the wedding was going to be outdoors. We arrive and see the groom is wearing a Hawaiian shirt and khakis. The bride is wearing a formal tux, but with shorts. So yeah, black tie was optional.
I should have known that a girl who had never worn a dress in her life wasn’t going to have a formal wedding. Still, the Aquarium was fun. We went to the dolphin show between the ceremony and the meal.
August 28, 2008 at 5:10 pmThe dolphin show is TOTALLY AWESOME. THEY JUMP SO HIGH!!!
August 28, 2008 at 5:47 pmdaryl, your friends were idiots. They probably didn’t even know what “black tie optional” meant but it was stupid for them to put that on invitations if they were planning to dress like douches.
August 28, 2008 at 5:48 pmi want that semi-formal dress
the colors and Art Deco nod are divine
link please?
NO MORE PLEATED PANTS!!!!!
August 28, 2008 at 1:18 pm