There are many things I hate in life, like tardiness and self-righteousness and my neighborhood on a weekend, but a thing that particularly yanks my chain these days is people not from DC (read that: people from NY) writing style rants about the uniformity of DC Style.
Remember this piece of stereotyping poop a while back?
And now, today THIS THING POPS INTO MY INBOX: a GQ exile commentary on DC male style that includes (supposedly straight faced) sentences like:
Apparently, what barely passed for fashionable in the Condé Nast cafeteria is cause for suspicion at the National Press Club. I can’t tell you how many times in my first couple of months here I was asked, normally by drunk girls, if I was gay.
and
But that rumor about how everyone in Official Washington—Capitol Hill types, white-shoe attorneys, lobbyists—wears obscene amounts of Brooks Brothers? That shit is true! Also: pleats. Lots of pants down here be pleated. It’s crazy.
and
And like everywhere else, but perhaps even more so, there’s a premium on uniformity.
I’ll take my stereotypes with a side of preemptive jugdement, thank you very much, with a final plea:
So if you stop by the Brooks Brothers on Connecticut Avenue, you might spot me. I’ll be the one eyeing the seersucker, wondering why, just as I was finally starting to get a handle on things in New York, I chose to start over here.
HE IS GIVING UP PEOPLE.
THE PRESSURE OR SEER SUCKER AND BROOKS BROTHERS AND PLEATED PANTS HAS HIM CAVING AND SUCCUMBING. JUST SO HE CAN FIT IN.
(since you know, LIFE IS ABOUT FITTING IN. AND NOTHING ELSE BUT FITTING IN)
In all honesty, I think you should dress the way you want to dress.
You like pleated pants-wear goddamn pleated pants (Just don’t expect me to want to take them off of you).
You like jams-wear goddamn jams.
Hell, if you like keffiyahs, wear them, even though it is wrong.
I understand that there ARE a lot of people in suits in DC, but listen, THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE IN SUITS EVERYWHERE. Go to any city that has a high population of white collar professionals and hell, chances are, a high percentage of those white collar professionals will be wearing suits and starched shirts and not so skinny ties.
DC though, just like all those other cities also has a good share of people in well fitting jeans, creative professionals without dress codes at their work place (I THANK GOD EVERY DAY FOR THAT), skinny jeans AND jackets and men who wear their hats jaunty and well. Even some sartorially sharp people.
And when complaining about uniformity, think about what you are saying when in the first portion of your article you proudly describe your wardrobe as:
a pair of slim-fit jeans, along with some skinny ties and tailored jackets. In short, I looked like a New Yorker, maybe even one who had completed a summer internship at Bravo.
Sounds kinda like a uniform to me, albeit a slightly more slim fitting one.
Next time, when in a pinch to write a style commentary column, go for some punches above the waist.
You may be surpised what kind of tie it hits.
(in the meantime, keep your eyes peeled for our style spread next week, featuring some dashing mens. just sayin’)
I dont blame him. the thing about being looked at funny at the Nat’l Press Club nails it. You seriously can’t expect a Hill worker or even a Post staffer to dress in some bananas-ass Comme des Garcons shit and have that not be an obstacle to doing business. I’m sure it wouldn’t fly on Wall Street either.
May 15, 2008 at 2:54 pmwell, at least the guy did say “official washington”, not washington-at-large. most people think our entire city = the Hill/K street. but he still sounds like a douche.
the DC fashion problem that alarms me the most is the ubiquity of the flip-flop - and yes i know there has been discussion of this on BYT, including all the black cat ban stuff. bottom line: flip flops are for the beach and pool. the. end.
May 15, 2008 at 3:06 pmcomparing conde nast to national press club is like comparing apples to oranges.
May 15, 2008 at 3:06 pmUm flip flops are like um animal friendly and um half the price of Chucks so get over it…I’m gonna wear flip flops.
May 15, 2008 at 6:26 pmDC, from the architecture to the vegetation, is like a pure white canvas for people to go completely bat-shit on ,if they wished, and express themselves. That includes fashion in every single sense. The environment allows for people to do there own thing and be seen and heard even if they’re not trying to draw attention to themselves. New York is at times over bearing and oppressive. Not everyone gets a chance to shine. DC is accepting of all shapes, forms, and even time periods ( cough DURKL 80’s much) but that is an amazing thing and I’m happy that you can defend DC like you did. Even though i was there for a short time, being a new york girl myself, i can say it is the fashion capital but that’s according to what’s hot at the moment and what’s in style now now now. It doesn’t give people the freedom to say “You know what I know leggings aren’t in right now.. but fuck that I’m in the mood to wear leggings!!”. DC is a place for the unique and alternative as well as the hipsters the preppy the hip hop the grunge lovers the posh the everything else. It just feels really accepting as opposed to the sometimes narrow minded ways of new york style. DC gives people a voice. Thanks again for being one that dares to speak up against the NY giant.
May 15, 2008 at 6:35 pmThings I hate about DC Style, Volume 1 (mind you, I’ve had a few beers, and I cut my grass, and I fixed (kind of) a motorcycle, so I’m sitting here in a ribbed tank (no, not a wife beater) in flip flops and green toes…)
1: Flip flops for anything other than sitting in one’s yard, cutting one’s grass, or keeping some distance between your feet and hot sand. Stop it girls, please, especially when you have toes that look as though you feed your rat collection with. Guys? Never, except for the aforementioned and walking your dog or quick jaunts to the store. With slacks? You need your face punched backwards.
2: Ties that do not either touch your belt or hover in that area of the belt (about an inch, give or take). Tucking your tie between the third and fourth button (counting the collar button) is ok (trust me, it is), but never below the fourth button. If you don’t tuck it and you wear it normally because you’re a sheep, at least wear it normally correctly.
3: Ill fitting suits on men (and this included pleated pants). Just because they sell something doesn’t mean you should wear it. There’s a guy in my office who wears suits all the time and people always comment how he looks so nice. No. He doesn’t. His suit fits like a potato sack. He’s 6′4″ and three other people could fit inside his suit. Just because it is a suit does not mean it looks nice. Stop wearing them like that, and stop complimenting people who do.
4: Girls who wear open toed shoes (other than flipflops: see above) who have toes that look like rats gnaw on them nightly. Stop. It’s gross.
5: Girls who cannot walk in high heels. Look I know no one is taught anything anymore and you just pick it up, but if you are jamming your feet when you step then you are doing it wrong. High heels are to make you appear graceful. If you can’t walk in them then you are ruining the illusion.
6: People who open their mouths for photos. Stop. I know this isn’t a “style” thing per se, but when you’re posing for photos you know will be published then it is. Close your goddamned mouths people (rule is excepted if you are caught mid sentence, or are singing words and caught mid-word, etc.) This only applies for those of you who open your mouths specifically for a photo. Imagine Lauren Bacall doing same. Exactly.
7. People who wear seersucker before Memorial Day as normal attire (exception: a lawn party before Memorial Day in the South is fine). I know people rarely see seersucker so when they see someone in it they gush how great they look. I think you look like a fucking tool.
8. Black and white, or brown and white spectator shoes before Memorial Day. See above. You’re a fucking tool. I have two pair of Specs and a week’s worth of seersucker. If I can wait, so can you. You wouldn’t wear it in the dead of winter so you can wait another week or so.
9: Girls who wear huge fucking granny panties with tight pants. You do realize that when you walk it creases into your ass and you look like you have two of them, right? Now you do. Either wear a thong, or go commando. I’m tired of seeing asses cut in half by huge old panties.
10: I totally get the writer’s point about being asked whether I am gay when I dress to go out. Constant. It is a constant. I’ve had tongues licking my tonsils and told “God DAMN son, you kiss well for a gay guy.”
11: Guys. Ironed button up shirts that you leave untucked. Now granted most of these guys match them to khaki pants and are headed to Bar Pilar or St. Ex on weekends but on occasion they and I appear in the same place. “Oh fuck, my bad. Damn dude, I sooo didn’t mean to spill my Guinness on you. Shit. I’m sorry.” Psych.
12: Those goddamned, as Maddox called them, tit curtains. Stop. In fact, just go on and read the rest of Maddox’s rant and fill in the rest of this post with the appropriate numbers because I agree to a T (though I give more leeway for the red lipstick). http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=fashion
13. Oh, and finally, people who have absolutely no style staring at me like I am a freak because I occasionally do. This is centered mostly on the Navy Yard and the douche contractors (who show up for happy hours with their tie loosened like they’re living the wild life). Yes I am wearing a Trilby. Yes these pants are virgin wool. Yes my shoes are Italian. Yes my tie is tucked in and my sleeves are rolled. Yes this is my circa 1978 Superman lunchbox. Yes it has my lunch in it. Stop fucking staring at me you scrot-douche.
May 15, 2008 at 7:07 pmOh yeah and people who use “professional” like it means a twat (again, another non-style specific thing, but allow me because in no place have I lived where I’ve heard that word dropped more).
Guess what? So’s my garbageman. So’s the plumber. So is your auto mechanic. And my money’s on them as to whom is smarter (note I said smarter, not who paid more money to sit for a few years and memorize shit in a book, i.e, what counts for “education” in our society today.) Yes there are a few real professionals in DC (Doctors are. Engineers and architects are), but just because you have a job wherein you don’t sweat, and you waste time in a cube under florescent lighting for 8+ hours a day and you have a BA doesn’t make you a fucking professional. By all accounts you’re likely a glorified administrative assistant (guess what? The DC native Admin Assistant if your office is a “professional” too).
Look, we all know that when you drop the P-bomb what you are saying is that you have been to college and you work in an office. You’re probably still about as functional in a crisis situation as a heroin addict in a porno shoot. I don’t give a fuck what you do, but kindly stop referring to yourself as a “professional” because you think it makes you a better person. It doesn’t.
May 15, 2008 at 7:29 pmWhat in the world is wrong with this guy (Michael, above)?
May 15, 2008 at 10:04 pmMichael, it is a very bad idea to mow grass in flip-flops, but (perhaps for the first time ever) I agree with most else of what you said.
May 16, 2008 at 6:54 amMatt, probably, and I’m guessing here, people like you.
May 16, 2008 at 7:06 amYes, give it to us Michael!
We want the straight dope on every self-conscious outrage twittering around in that neurotic little head of yours, and we want it in long numerical lists.
I’m a Professional (scientist) and I wear sweatpants to work, so piss off!
May 16, 2008 at 9:53 amI dropped out of two different universities, dress for work like I’m about to play some soccer and I consider myself a professional.
May 16, 2008 at 11:25 amSweatpants only mean one thing: You’ve given up on life.
May 16, 2008 at 11:44 am*comparing conde nast to national press club is like comparing apples to oranges.*
Comparing comparing conde nast to national press club to comparing apples to oranges is like comparing comparing Jorge Luis Borges to Dan Brown to comparing Mary Kate Olsen to Ashley Olsen.
Got it?
May 16, 2008 at 11:50 amcorrection: sweatpants mean you chose to wear your cotton knitted not woven.
May 16, 2008 at 12:21 pmTies are tiny little nooses that companies force people to wear. That kind of dress code is a Foucaultian nightmare, a fashion dispositif. They have control over your body. The tie is not a look-a-like; it is a method of execution on its own, only the death is a much longer process and certainly much more excruciating…
May 16, 2008 at 12:30 pm…life as a hipster douchebag? Gladly.
May 16, 2008 at 12:45 pmJA - surely you aren’t referring to me as a hipster douchebag? I’m about the furthest thing from hipsterdom that there is.
Scroot - there’s a difference in being told to wear a tie, and choosing to wear one.
May 16, 2008 at 12:50 pmMichael - It’s important that now, after your longer post, you realize that there is a difference. Now the next time you rain down your “tips,” your tyranny of multicolored nooses, onto the feeble, lesser-fashioned masses of the District of Columbia, everyone will know that doublespeak is alive and well. If I’m forced to wear a tie, I’m obviously not going to be super-fashionable about it.
To me, it’s about as fashionable, in any context, as watching TV whilst sitting in an electric-chair or showering in a gas chamber.
May 16, 2008 at 1:04 pmHa. Then leave off the modifier if it means that much to you.
May 16, 2008 at 1:09 pmMy favorite comment on this entire wall:
5: Girls who cannot walk in high heels. Look I know no one is taught anything anymore and you just pick it up, but if you are jamming your feet when you step then you are doing it wrong. High heels are to make you appear graceful. If you can’t walk in them then you are ruining the illusion.
May 16, 2008 at 2:14 pmwait wait wait wait wait.
theres a flipflop ban somewhere?
May 16, 2008 at 2:26 pmI work two jobs. Some days I wear scrubs (the “professional” equivalent to pajamas) and the other days I have to wear all black and white.
Neither is “fashionable.”
I love heels. Michael, if you ever see me in them I would hope you will inform me of my gracefulness of lack thereof.
May 16, 2008 at 2:45 pmDC is what it is. It’s ill-fitting attire, helmet hair and ridiculously inappropriate footwear on both men and women. People largely equate fashion here to fluffiness, meaning that in order to do white collar work, you must give up any modicum of style. Ergo, people largely dress like assholes here. The GQ article is not based on nothing.
And Michael, please, please tell me you have your own blog. Much of your rant was LOL-worthy.
May 16, 2008 at 3:05 pmMarissa - I don’t blog. I just comment here. On occasion I write articles here.
That’s it. But thank you.
Not a professional, doesn’t blog, would point out to Scroot that though he thinks he has me pinned on a point he doesn’t, but it’s time to go home.
May 16, 2008 at 3:12 pmI think it would be neat if one of your many photographers did a photo-motage of where people go wrong in dc fashion. like a mocku-sartorialist. maybe that is mean spirited, but it would help illuminate an issue that people are obviously interested in ranting on about. also when taking their photo, ask them questions about their style choices, etc. and make sure you are dress in no- american apparel when trying to do so, or else your cover will be blown.
May 16, 2008 at 5:13 pmAnd I thought *I* had strong opinions about DC fashion.
Put down the fashion calendar/rulebook (no green before St. Patrick’s Day, no acid-wash jeans every third Sunday, no meat on Fridays, no no no!) and the critical theory primer (ze belt ees ze oppressore of ze pepole) and let people dress how they want.
If you are colorblind (DURKL), boring (half-ass prep), or lazy (flip flops ‘n’ sweat pants), this will show in the way you dress. People will judge you. I will judge you. But that doesn’t matter, because you will wear the uniform you choose.
DC stereotypes are unfounded — the prevailing fashions here are lackluster at best — but all the better for me; if everyone dressed well, the ‘fashionable’ people would no longer stand out.
(P.S. Pleated pants aren’t fashion death, dammit. Men’s fashion comes and goes.)
May 16, 2008 at 5:48 pmMichael- you’ve done top notch job of capturing the true wonkiness of DC. one of the greatest pleasures is watching someone reveal themselves and not even know it.
After kicking it around this city for about 2 years now, I gotta say, yes a local, every now and then has a flare up of style. But, for the most part, people tend to “study” and “analyze” all that is style when in fact, the only thing you should be studying is yourself and what you might actually be able to pull off without looking like you probably have a pile of clothes on your bed that represent the remains of all the different combinations you tried but felt didn’t quite capture the formula.
All in all, there are a herd of dc kids running around coming up just shy of a total fit. Clearly, they’ve read the magazine articles and observed their latest band crush, yet sadly, they just don’t know how to pull it together. so close, but just not there.
fashion in this city was was something i used to give a toss about, but now I’ve just accepted the fact that dc style nails the preppy look…i mean really grabs the full essence of prep. and that works for some, but prep, by my standards, has never been on the cool tip…and along those lines, neither has outlining calendar dates to restrict when to wear and when not to wear.
my boy michael, try to get your head around the fact that fashion is an expression of art and the best artists don’t impose boundaries on how to think or express whatever it is they are trying to state. i’m sure it felt great writing all your bits and tips, but i mean really, you regret it now don’t you? wouldn’t you have just rather not know how lame you sound? I’m hoping your under 24 years old…
and don’t worry, you’re not gay because of your style…it’s more because you’re just gay.
burton:
why is michael automatically gay because he has strong opinions about fashion and can articulate himself well?
May 19, 2008 at 12:09 amRachel- all gay people don’t have strong opinions about fashion nor are all articulate…
May 19, 2008 at 7:27 amBurton- Exactly my point. I don’t understand why you would qualify Michael as gay based on what he wrote in this comment thread.
May 19, 2008 at 9:08 amHas a gay friend.
How is having many comments directed at something a revelation of its lameness? Wouldn’t that make the person who comments on it even more lame?
Aren’t the cripples going to be rising up for using a non-PC word like lame? I mean we sure as heck can’t use retarted or gay.
May 19, 2008 at 9:34 amrachel- no the point is that it isn’t michaels level of articulation or fashion layout that led me to my remark…it’s broader.
on a positive note, michael’s last note about lame was quite funny…nice one.
May 19, 2008 at 9:41 amburton, is it because I build motorcycles and jump out of airplanes?
May 19, 2008 at 10:00 ami’m not obsessed with being PC, but i do object to the term gay being used as a descriptor of stupidity.
May 19, 2008 at 10:15 amburton: i think rachel already made that point.
michael: why haven’t you responded to this guy yet?
May 19, 2008 at 11:38 amI can’t frakkin’ believe it. The price of gas is sky-high-normous, the dollar is in steady decline, the country is a hot mess economically and this guy is talking about flip flops? FLIP FLOPS?!
May 21, 2008 at 9:06 pmDC sucks
May 29, 2008 at 10:58 pmJust saw this article….and since it touches on one of my greatest pet peeves I had to reply. Not that anyone cares anymore but hey. For a city of its level of importance, DC fashion has always been sub-par. Blame it on a lack of working class neighborhoods (see Baltimore) or lack of a powerful artsy scene (not since the punk rock 80’s) you have to admit the lack of creativity is bordering on obscene. Even at the “cutting edge” H Street clubs, you rarely see anyone really dressed up in their preferred style (goth, mod, club kid etc.)
And if you do, people rarely go over the top ( a la London/Paris) and really go all out on the makeup and outfits. Bring the wigs out people, stop being scared by the establishment types.
Its a crying shame that people here equate fashion with lack of intelligence, and prefer to be taken seriously by wearing dockers and seersucker suits. Unfortunately we all have to conform in some way or another but this should not be one of them.
June 12, 2008 at 3:30 pm
I have the writer’s email address if anyone would like to send him some D.C. style tips.
May 15, 2008 at 2:36 pm