You know the goddamn summer is here when:
a. your hair becomes a ball of frizz
b. your ass cheeks stick to each other
c. everyone on the metro is wearing a fanny pack and standing on the left side
d. there is A MILLION EVENTS on the BYT calendar
e. all of the above.
Pick E! Pick E!
Anyhoo, there is so much to do that my head is about to explode. Which means yours had probably ALREADY exploded.
Preemptively read the art itinerary, the free movie guide, our new weekly jazz column and Micheal’s scootergate plea and then start evaluating other options:
In any case, here is a non-explosion survival guide.
Thursday
Take it kinda easy.
I do recommend checking out These New Puritans @ DC9 or going either to a pool party you cannot swim at or a pool party you can swim at. Your call.
Other recommended thing to do: Take some time and go make friends with the happy hour bartending staff at ESL, Marvin, Wonderland and other assorted places that have outdoor seating. This WILL come in handy.
Not recommended: waiting in the monstrously large line to eat at Lauriol Plaza. Just wait for Sunday. And Brunch. That’s what all the smart people do.
Friday
Well, Bob Saget is in town.
That’s one thing.
The other thing is that
Approximately 8000 art parties abound: we recommend Hillyer and Meat Market events (click here for more details) and then…go dancing: We Fought The Big One is at Marx Cafe (DJ Neville Chamberlain is guesting) and Sorted is at the Cat (Cory is apparently moving to Germany AGAIN so come see him off. AGAIN.)
Saturday
After you’ve breezed through the first 2 days of the weekend you are probably ready to rage.
And rage you will.
(providing you have survived the naked bike race by then)
Club by club breakdown:
the cat:
M83 is on the mainstage playing your favorite songs you haven’t heard yet.
and The Wag is backstage. This is Mark Zimin’s better, cooler and badder dance night, just so you know. Chad (America) is bartending.
If you have some time read this interview we did with Chad a while back. And ask him about Spice Girls.
dc9
Taint celebrates its birthday on a rare non-Sunday occasion.
esl
Will Eastman makes his debut in an unmarked club above the mattress warehouse.
the rnr hotel
so, this is kind of the most BYT recommended combo (which is saying both something and nothing as, seriously, it is such a well curated night all around)
The Presets/Figo/DJ Cassidy bonanza takes place downstairs and it should be EPIC.
In the mean time and upstairs, Chris and Andrew move Disco City to a Saturday for one night only and between the sweat downstairs and the sweat upstairs, the overall feel is bound to approximate what you will feel like all summer.
BUT NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, you should probably end up your evening here:
Cale and William host a pizza party at Jimmy Valentine’s and it will go on FOREVER.
It also has the nastiest ass flyer of all time, so now I naturally have to repost it.
Sunday
Eat free brunch at Michael’s.
Then…
It is going to be 92 degrees.
I swear.
The Weather Channel swears too.
So, if you’re smart, you’ll find a pool or a boat and make it like a 90s boy band:
The end.
Now tell me what I missed.
Because you know you want to.
No Mention of STARSCAPE. haha
June 5, 2008 at 4:30 pm?
June 5, 2008 at 4:41 pmStarscape is a huge rave at Ft. Armistead park.
June 5, 2008 at 5:13 pmRaves scare me.
I grew up in Eastern Europe, techno ruined my childhood.
Starscape isn’t just a rave, ignore all that DJ nonsense and check out the bands.
June 5, 2008 at 5:56 pmThere’s gonna to be drinking on my stoop Saturday starting at high noon until whenever the skeeter hordes suck me dry.
June 6, 2008 at 9:32 am“this flyer is grossing me out”
June 6, 2008 at 11:37 amThe flyer is reminiscient of goatse.
June 6, 2008 at 11:40 amyou just had to fucking do that, didn’t you… i was about to go eat. not anymore. i went from laughing at the flyer to throwing up in my mouth. damn you.
June 6, 2008 at 11:45 amp.s. do not google goatse and click on the link to the homepage. do. not.
June 6, 2008 at 11:46 amEveryone should google goatse, especially at work. It’s Totally SFW.
June 6, 2008 at 11:53 amSFW = So Fucking Wrong
June 6, 2008 at 12:09 pmhttp://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l228/geo-gia/Plutose.gif
June 6, 2008 at 12:49 pmi just had an assbeef sammy for lunch. mmmmm.
June 6, 2008 at 1:10 pmtub girl is way better
June 6, 2008 at 2:16 pmtub girl is mad delicious
makes one consider skipping Tostitos queso a la microwave though…ever again
There is a nice spoof website of goatse with people taking photos of various objects with the hands on either side, but I can’t find it.
Tub girl is just a gimmick. Goatse took commitment.
June 6, 2008 at 2:57 pmEr, I mean, I assume it would have taken commitment. I wouldn’t know because I’ve never tried anything like that.
June 6, 2008 at 2:57 pmI can only say that whoever committed the goastse…IS IN THIS VERY ROOM.
June 6, 2008 at 4:32 pmgimmick? I think it would probably take some practice to reach that.. uh.. . height. If you know what I mean. :/
June 6, 2008 at 4:34 pmcommitment = pain olympics
be warned u wont be the same after you see it
June 7, 2008 at 6:27 pmpresets = cancelled. bummmmer
June 8, 2008 at 7:05 pm
this weekend = bigbigevent.com
get ready for a double band double header, with no DJ band breaks at Glen Echo
one of the best times to make the hop over there
June 5, 2008 at 4:05 pm