all words & photos: Mike Danko

Taking a moment to watch a few clips of a previous CRACK show at DC9 I could only imagine what was in store for me at Town, which, in my opinion, was the better venue choice for a number of reasons. Town houses a much larger bar and a more conducive stage allowing for more props and simply more space for the performances to run as amok as they needed to..

Speaking of performances, they ranged from crazy workout videos to domestication skits to musical gigs.

This variety show is hosted by Shea Van Horn’s incarnation of Summer Camp, who was able to deliver everything that was promised. This particular installment seemed to focus on skewering the wolds of suburban sprawl and housewife ennui. The attending crowd arrived early to secure good seating and was eager to chew on and ingest the outrageousness about to ensue.

Buttercup in her kitchen making a seven layer dip had to be by far the funniest of all the performances, honestly making me wonder if anything homemade was safe. Don’t ever trust a trapped housewife making a dip. Especially, when one finds ingredients in the most wicked of places. Everything went down hill when Summer and Buttercup tried to outdo each other with who could scoop up more dip the more fingers at once and lick it off. Buttercup won only marginally with her impressive fuck-me lips.

Summer kept things fun and funny between performances too. She made things competitive with some Price Is Right action and new incentives for free drinks. Who would show their crack for a free drink? Plenty volunteered – few did it with style. Summer would tickle a tush and award the volunteers with a drink ticket ad park it in their cracks.

Piggy-backing off of the suburbia theme, Summer announced her pregnancy. This just gave them more opportunities to scare the crap (and crack) out of faint of heart. Between every act she kept us in the loop on her pregnancy. And boy was she getting big…fast.

Tunes from Nirvana and Alanis Morissette kept us in touch with the 90’s and ammunition to poke fun a few social issues.

Ending the night to the tune of Uninvited by Alanis Morissette, Summer had to top things with off with a big finale. Oh dear God…an abortion. We’re all going to hell. No, nevermind. Been there. Done that. And we liked what we saw.

NOW, FOR THE IMPORTANT PART: ENJOY SOME PHOTOS:

want more CRACK?
Check out our interview with Shea here and our CRACK feature here