words and photos by Dakota
...
WaPo's Going out Gurus had their inaugural happy hour at Bourbon on Wednesday evening. Boasting discounted drinks and free food (which I regrettably missed due to tardiness), the place was stuffed with yuppies like a Kentucky born wild turkey who'd spent a little too long hanging out at that Dupont Circle Starbucks.
Jeeeeezus, DC young people, hear me out. For the love of GOD when you leave work, stop talking about the NSA's stance on Iraq and your non-profit's position on Obama's latest booger (was it more greenish-yellow, or grayish-brown?). Seriously, no one cares, not even you. You only care because you're paid to care, and if you weren't, you wouldn't give a rats ass, which is a notion you should familiarize yourselves with, because that economic downturn, it's for real.
Listen, we all love a decent happy hour where we can enjoy the occasion of friends and merriment at the end of a workday, but if you haven't seen a good movie lately (it's Oscar season!), seen a good live show, laughed at yourself a little (see Sculpture Garden in 15 Minutes), and/or peeled your shirt off your skin from dancing so hard to one of DC's many fabulous DJ's (see DC DJs Wrap Up The Year For You), then you deserve not the privilege to complain about DC, at all. Go back to Ohio. Remember Cleveland? Yeah, you left for a reason. Compare and contrast.
Anyhow, what with the ridiculous success of the Bourbon happy hour we all now know the Going Out Guide has ample readership. I noticed they solicited in their post suggestions for the next happy hour (somewhere with a bigger interior)... now, before you all suggest Lucky Bar or the Big Hunt (it is all but a foregone conclusion isn't it?) consider suggesting to them that they provide you with a touch of rock 'n roll to go along with your drinks and DJ. That way you'll go home thinking to yourself, "DC has freaking awesome home-grown talent!" And that way, next time you approach a girl at Millie 'n Als, you'll have something to say for yourself besides, "Gee, that press release from Rahm Emmanuel's desk today, darn, I don't think he addressed the issue of the shade of Obama's mucus, did you see?"
I love you all. Sheesh.
God loves a cheerful giver.
feeling a little sassy today Dakota?
Pretty sweet rant.
in addition to being sassy, it was supposed to be witty as well... is sass all that comes through?
Just a picker, or an eater as well? Fate hangs....
Oh, man.
It kinda makes you feel bad for Fritz, you know? His _job_ is to deal with these guys, and answer their incredibly interesting questions on-line.
Could drive a man to drink, it could.
CAIRO, AAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Dakota, I'm very impressed by your unique brand of Haterade. I didn't realize that you were a hater of guys who spit that political game.
also-that photo of the 2 dudes texting and the girl looking miserable is probably my new favorite photo of 09.
I know, I know, against the rules of BYT, but I find political discussions interesting.
PS
Political discussion for the sake of discussion can be very enlightening. However, discussing domestic or international affiairs for the purpose of
a) trying to show off how big of a boss you are
b) spitting game
will lead to imediate disqualification.
nothing
but
RIM.
Dakota, I think your rant is wildly accurate.
"Go back to Ohio."
ditto.
i enjoyed your rant.
is that chuck bass in the middle in the thumb nail?
I totally agree. We are all very much better than those people.
just saying, I think more people try to show off during conversations about music/movies than about politics.
truth be told, the last thing i want is to be labeled a hater. hater is to me the highest form of insult. actually it is the political bar-douche who is the hater, hating on fun, hating on normal social behavior.
i am merely a promoter of culturally relevant social discourse. sometimes politics is culturally relevant, a lot of times it is, don't get me wrong. but c'mon people we all live in DC, and we are all familiar with the dude who doesn't know how to talk about anything but their work, trying to sound all smart on their soapbox... wahwahwahwah.
next time they should just throw a virtual party that everyone can go to on their cellphones
Not much to take pics of when everyone is totally uptight, is there?
So, like, come here often, Maria?
i've been living in this area since the late 80s (yeah some of you weren't even thought of yet) and it's always been like the photos portrait. In recent years a normal conversation with friends can't be had without some idiot or two pulling out their cell and texting away. sign o' the times i guess. at least i see change on the horizon with the 'new' generation of dc kids, but i think you'll always have that 'idiot' yuppy crowd talking about work well after they've left work.
Nice write-up and photos, dakota.
Remember when we all used to smoke to avoid social interaction? I kind of prefered that to texting.
umm... I from Ohio. Cleveland actually...