Because these go to 11.
So I wanted to do something a little more creative than just updating my list from 2007, but I was having a hard time coming up with an idea that I liked, especially since R. Kelly didn’t do shit this year.
For example:
"Top 10 lady jamz of 2008" (there aren't 10), or
"Top 10 jamz featuring Lil Wayne" (there are 1000), or
"Top 10 jamz by DJ Khaled that so totally sucked I fucking killed myself everytime I accidentally caught one of his videos while flipping channels goddamnit he's a bamma."
But then I got busy quitting my job and applying to grad school and being drunk for weeks and now I am tired. So here you go: just the year’s good jamz.
11. Gettin Up – Q-tip
I want to describe this song as groovy. Can I say groovy on here? I love the guitarist’s and bassist’s little coordinated shimmy bop thing they’re doing.
10. Stepped on my J’s – Nelly, Ciara, Jermaine Dupri
Ohmygod, shoes.
9. Pro Nails – Kid Sister ft. Kanye
True Life: I’m getting acrylics and going to Atlantic City for my birthday. Everyone’s invited.
8. W.A.L.E.D.A.N.C.E – Wale
There was a request to see some Wale on this list this year, so this one’s for the DC hipsters. The hype for a Wale album is getting bigger every day, and I can’t wait.
7. American Boy – Estelle ft. Kanye
Personally, this song is a big meh, but its easily danceable and the video reminds me of Toni Braxton’s “You’re Making Me High” where she and her girlfriends are like judging a revolving elevator full of attractive American boys. (Confidential to John Legend: call me).
6. Chopped and Screwed – T-pain, Ludacris
This is like the ultimate in T-pain’s evolution of spaced-out robo-R&B. Plus I just can’t get tired of Luda’s verse, so I just want to “thank you thank you lord I wanna thank you!” for this jam.
5. Swing (remix) – Savage ft. Soulja Boy
The best part of my cousin’s Bat Mitzvah that I attended at a wanksy Kansas City country club this Fall was peeling out early with this remix screeching out the windows of my parents’ SUV. You really can never go home again. Also, I never expected Soulja Boy to make another appearance on this list, but I have to give it to you. You backwoods, pubescent horndog.
4. Love in this Club – Usher, Young Jeezy
On the couch, on the table – ON THA BURRRRRR – on the floor. Remember when Usher was a pudgy-faced baby in the 90's singing about... the same nasty shit? Awesome.
3. Touch My Body – Mariah Carey
This song is pretty useless except for the seductively terrifying “I will hunt you down.” And for the moment during her performance for Good Morning America (at 3:05) when she vocally reams the background singer. You know that poor girl is dead now? Yeah. That’s not true.
2. Swagga Like Us – Jay-Z, T.I., ft. Lil Wayne and Kanye
I thought I couldn’t be sicker of “Paper Planes” then I heard this and forgot. For the record, I had this on my list as the “most badass of lyrical clusterfucks” before I read in Rolling Stone that they voted it “posse track to end all posse tracks.” Chuuch.
1. A Milli – Lil Wayne
Un. Controllable. I know I am #100000 to say it, but best album of the year. Folk are falling over themselves to steal from this one. (Point: Beyonce’s “Diva.” Please.)
Weezy = Predator.
Honorable Mention
New Era - Retro Kidz
Not really top 40, but fun, in a fresh prince kind of way.
Can’t Let it Go – Strong Arm Steady
West coast underground is alive and still ugly as fuck.
Paper Touchin – Red Café
And because this list wouldn’t be complete without at least one track of gratuitous gangsta machismo.
Please for you to enjoy. If not, soulja boy tellem what jamz you liked better this year.
Happy Holidays.
God loves a cheerful giver.
Abby, no "Church"?
That was T-Pain's finest moment this year. Not to mention it was featured in a dance off scene in "Step up 2 the streets" making it extra special.
Is that West Coast rapper brandishing a keffiyeh? Is that like trophy? Hold me.
Abby make sure you go to Bare Exposures when you go to Atlantic City. It's basically the personification of all of these songs put together.
Rap sucks blah blah blah etc.
To even have the word "best" on the same page as this worthless, no-talent laden excuse for music known as 'rap'....is.......
Excuse me, the word "good".
Add ons to this this:Young Jeezy and Kanye's "Put on"- Young Jeezy and Nas' "My President is Black" - T.I. and Rhianna's "Live Your Life."
I really like "Swagga Like Us" better than "Paper Plans."
these videos are awesome. the text makes my head hurt.
i was at bare exposures for a bachelor party in 2005. i must have heard "my humps" 600 times.
the fact that the headline has "Top 40" in it should eliminate the need for any hipster "worthless, no-talent laden excuse for music known as ‘rap’" discussions
what about britney - womanizer
also, on the ubiquitousness of lil wayne - i have to tell you that earlier this year i overheard some dudes awaiting trial at the carl moultrie courthouse singing MRS. OFFICER to one of dc's finest lady cops.
Top 40 sucks.
Oh, young hipsters! I was once like ye, so dismissive of the plebeian top 40. But, waste not another moment. Free your mind and let your hips follow, for they will move and undulate in ways devendra banhart, deerhoof, or destroyer could ever solicit! But if you're going to insist on being snobbish jerks, at least be clever about it.
Nothing by David Banner? It seemed like hw as everywhere, and no Busta Rhymes!? "I Got Bass" is SO fucking dope! Props for Tip.
my top 3 top 40 that weren't on this top 11:
david banner feat. chris brown - "get like me (stuntin is a habit)"
t. pain ft. lil wayne - "can't believe it"
t.i. - "whatever you like"
T.I. "Whatever you like" should definitely be on there.
A good list! I vote for Akon "I'm So Paid" w/ Weezy and Jeezy
black milk- losing out
thats my jam