The Spitzer Playlist

March 12, 2008 by Svetlana  Send to a Friend

As you may have noticed, we’re in the middle of the media shitstorm that is “Hooker-and-Spitzer-gate”.
(if you haven’t you probably don’t live in DC, for we thrive on media shitstorms here)

We can’t even open Wonkette anymore, for fear of seeing Eliot’s tense smile “explaining something” (what is there to explain?) and his long-suffering wife (Silda!) standing behind him.
Now, last time we had a sex scandal on our hands in DC (which was oooh, just last summer) we actually spent some of our precious energy to track its process but this time around the block, we decided to just do the last thing that wasn’t done already…turn to music, which as we all know, IS the cure for all that ails you.

So, instead of wasting words on this (I’ll just say, whatever NY can do, Marion Barry did better a long time a go), we present as a present to you, a little playlist for your Wednesday enjoyment, a tad heavy on the guilty pleasure disco side, but hey!, we are talking guilty pleasures here, so its fitting.

A win-win situation, if we ever saw one:
Its situation appropriate AND you can dance to it.

The only thing that makes me sad is that Jason misinformed me on lady-for-hire’s (not real) name (Katie, when its actually Kristen) which excluded the possibility of having Libertines (and “What Katie Did”) on here, and took away my Pete Doherty jokes.

Damn you. Kristen.

Well Respected Man-The Kinks
I’ve been listening to this song a lot lately, and you know what, why not give Eliot the credit that he had oooooooh-72-hours-a-go?

Hes a well respected man about town,
Doing the best things so conservatively.

But that just wasn’t enough, now was it?

What do you do for Money, Honey-AC/DC
This song is 100% out of audio sequence with anything else on here, but it is fitting.

Never gonna give it for free

Apparently not to anyone named Spitzer

Streetwalking Blues-Clarence Williams
it is a jungle out there

Private Dancer-Tina Turner
While researching this I discovered that Lil’ Wayne also had a “Private Dancer” song, but this is more Eliot generation appropriate, so we’re going to roll with the oldies around here. In case you didn’t know it is a hard job, private dancing, but someone’s gotta do it.

And the men are all the same
You dont look at their faces
And you dont ask their names
You dont think of them as human
You dont think of them at all
You keep your mind on the money
Keeping your eyes on the wall

Love for Sale - Talking Heads

Got love for sale
And now love is here
Cmon and try it

And try you did, Eliot. And you liked what you tried. And so you came back. Many, many times. Apparently 80 000 dollars worth of times.

Pro Girl-Janis Ian

bargain well girl
I personally find this song kinda annoying and preachy, but with a name like that-it had to be in.

Pimp Song-Isaac Hayes
Isaac Hayes has written so many songs that could be oddly appropriate for use here (”Lady of The Night”, anyone?) that this could have been a purely Hayes playlist, but I decided to go with the Pimp Song, as it is a good tune to play while slowly cruising from your mansion to the location of you next clandestine meeting.

She works hard for her Money-Donna Summer
This is supposedly a song about a cleaning lady Donna met one night in a club (really? REALLY) but its my playlist, and in my playlist it is a song about Kristen.

You better treat her right

Got to Have loving-Don Ray
An epic 8 min + disco lick about that moment when: You gotta have what you gotta have. You all know how that feels.

More More More - Andrea True Connection
Not only is this an awesome song, but it is sung by a bona fide porn star, and has the following painfully appropriate lyrics in it:

But if you want to know
How I really feel
Just get the cameras rolling
Get the action going

MORE MORE MORE.

My Baby’s Got a Secret-Madonna
Yes, Silda, he does.

He’s a Whore-Cheap Trick
Yes, Silda, he is.

Baby did a Bad Bad Thing-Chris Isaak
Yes, Silda, he did.

Stand by Your Man-Candi Stanton
Your call, Silda. (I just love typing the woman’s name)

Another One Bites the Dust-Queen
Yes, Eliot, you have.

Stay classy.
Oh, and if we skipped anything (aside from “Roxanne”, on purpose) let us know.

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