Little Richard Lusts for Fat, White Women

September 21, 2007 by John  Send to a Friend

During his hour-long concert at Wilson Plaza last night, Little Richard implored his audience several times to provide him a supply of fat women for his own entertainment. “Can I get a big, fat, juicy White lady up on this stage to dance for me?,” Little Richard asked the audience - which was ample in supply. “Why can’t someone do that for Little Richard? That’s all I want. How ’bout a big, fat, juicy Mexican lady?”

The outdoor concert was the last in the free, D.C. Grooves series provided by the D.C. Commission on the Art and Humanities. The mostly post-middle aged crowd clapped wildly as the nearly-75 year old entertainer hobbled out to his piano on a pair of crutches due to an injured leg. Richard also wore a bedazzled encrusted suit and a thick, mullet wig.

Although Little Richard pleased his fans with hits such as Good Golly Miss Molly and Tutti Frutti (he never did get to singing Long Tall Sally, despite over a dozen promises from the stage that he would) it was his between-song banter that proved to be more entertaining. “Where’s the Mexican? Oh, you’re the Mexican?” Little Richard responded to a plump woman willing to dance for him on stage. “Well, where’s the White lady? Oh there she is down there. No, I can’t pull her up - that’s just too much weight!” Richard ultimately proved to be inclusive as he eventually welcomed a spectrum of rubenesque women onto his stage. “Oh look, its a big, fat Black blonde…oh, and a big, fat Black Black!”

Little Richard initiated the concert by interrupting his first song in order to throw WJLA-ABC News out of the venue. “See this mean little man down here?” Little Richard said pointing to the cameraman. “He is trying to film me and steal from Little Richard. I give you all this music, and they take it away by stealing it and giving it away for free.” As the security guards led the fully-credentialed camera crew away, Little Richard mocked the man’s weight. Richard broke into further portions of his show to warn the audience not to take his picture. Still, the performer managed to turn and perfectly pose with a grin each time a flash went off.

In the most shocking part of the performance, Little Richard announced that “My wife is from Washington, D.C. You know, my wife Ernestine.” Richard could have announced that he had a wife from the planet Neptune, and had she been from outer space that fact still wouldn’t have been as jarring as the announcement that Little Richard maintains a wife in the first place.

Little Richard didn’t always project clarity when he spoke from stage. In announcing his band, he fawned over guitarist Mark Howard “You know, he is a buckeye,” said Richard referring to Ohio, the buckeye state. “I’ve seen the eye, but lately I’ve seen the buck.” At that remark, every member of the Little Richard Band gave an uncomfortable smile. At other times, Richard took opportunity to insult his band, most of which have been traveling with him for decades. “Oh, these ladies in the audience want all you in the band. But, y’all girls don’t want them. They’re tired. They wouldn’t know what to do and they’re probably full of diarrhea.” By that point, the band was no longer uncomfortably smiling.

Little Richard left his audience with a show that included blues, gospel, zydeco, rock and roll and rhythm and blues. He also left the press with religious pamphlets describing how they could convert to Christianity (complete with a faux-autographed photo expressing his religious views). And Little Richard made sure that he left the show with the praise and fawning that he has made a pillar of his career.

Additional Little Richard Quotes from the Wilson Plaza Performance:

“Don’t take my picture. Don’t take it and then go write a book and call it I Did It.”

“Ooh, its so big! Wait, I didn’t mean it that way, but it is.” (referring to a bass saxophone)

“Get up off of that thing! Wait, I’m not going to say that ’cause I ain’t ready for you to get up.”

“What is this? Its my whop-bop-a-lo-bop.” (staring at his bottle of Orange Gatorade)

“Mash potatoes, gravy and cranberry sauce!”

“He’s drunk the water in every country. That makes him international.” (referring to band member Kenny “International” Walker”)

“In your prayers, pray for my leg!”

“Do not put a question mark where God has put a period. Don’t ever do that!”

“They’re trying to steal from me!”

“Mark, this woman down here wants you. She’s about 500-pounds though, but you’re used to that.”

“Why can’t they turn the lights on? Who is the lighting man? Is he Black? I bet he is.”

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