Brightest Young Things

In this weekly feature Nina (a real live breathing 17 year old-ed) will examine whatever song is currently at the top end of the charts and defend its “musical merits” to the best of her ability talk about it.

"Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus

If, instead of writing a column about pop songs, my job was to write one-word reviews of pop songs, the review for Miley Cyrus's new song, "Party in the USA," would read: "UGH."

So, yeah, there will be no defending this week.  I really, really hate this song, so I'm just going to straight-up ridicule it if that's okay.

Best (Worst) Lines:

• "I hopped off the plane at LAX/ With a dream and my cardigan." I don't know about you guys, but I always need a cardigan with me when following my dreams.
• "Look to the right and I see the Hollywood sign/  This is all so crazy/  Everybody seems so famous." That's because they are dressed up like famous people.
• "So I put my hands up/  They're playing my song/  And the butterflies fly away/  Noddin' my head like yeah/  Movin' my hips like yeah." How exactly do you move your hips like "yeah"?

And then there's the issue of Miley Cyrus not being able to sing.  Some of her songs are tolerable ("7 Things," "See You Again," "He Could Be The One") but on "Party in the USA" it just sounds like they're not even trying to cover up her lack of talent.  Every remotely high note sounds like a struggle.  At least have the decency to use some AutoTune!

Then there's this:

Your daughter's role model, everybody.