Bohemian Grove is a new Thursday night dance forum at Bourbon being presided over by the DJ Name Names, AKA Ian F Svenonius, singer of group Weird War, host of Soft Focus, and author of bestselling underground manual The Psychic Soviet. We asked Ian to tell us, in his own words, what one can expect from this evening’s celebrations. Here is what he sent us (read carefully):
Rumours of the night were recently confirmed by full color handbills being distributed by street urchins and chimney sweeps. These little scamps are usually short on words but when asked how this particular night would proceed, one suggested this: “First, as you approach Bohemian Grove at Bourbon on 18th St, after ignoring admonitions to stay away, you’ll hear The Flirts song “Helpless” That’s when you’ll be drawn HELPLESSly upstairs to the disturbing, perverse and exciting Bohemian Grove dance floor.
“Just as you’re spat into this strange, heretofore only rumored environment, you’ll hear Indeep’s “The Record Keeps Spinning.” “Record?” you’ll say to yourself; “Is that really vinyl? Who are these people? haven’t they heard about ipods?” You’ll spy a hooded figure in the disc jock booth. You’ll want to tell him/her/it about ipods and the digital revolution, but as you start across the room a stranger will ask you to dance with him to Nick Lowe’s strange but compelling “(I love the sound of) Breaking Glass.”
“This will seem too violent and existential a song to share with a stranger, but tyou might say to yourself “Heck, why not? Maybe a chance to enact a completely irrational and surreal episode.” You’ll scream poetry in esperanto to him during “Chicken Pickin’” by Lonnie Mack. As he asks you to marry him during The Chromatic’s “Healer” you’ll see the famous Venezuelan scuptor whats-his-name and decide to propose a collaboration with him. You brush off the would be paramour during Chuck Jackson’s “Hand it Over” and stamp to the bathroom during Shirley Ellis’ “(That’s What) The Nitty Gritty Is”. Someone steps on the back of your foot during Stereo-Total’s “Supergirl.” Clumsy bastard. You promise your revenge but then forget about it when you hear Bert Keyes northern soul super stomper “do do do bah ah”. It makes you so happy, you forgive mankind for everything– but then you remember your bank balance during Leon Haywoods “Soul-on”.
You realize you probably can’t avoid debtors prison or exile to Australia so you might as well dance to the Pandora’s “Want, Need, Love”. While doing the frug with an old friend, you start to think about your pet hamster all alone without you during Sunn’s “Legs”. You think the sweat from your brow will obscure the tears that are about to stream down your face during “Boogie Chillun” as done by The Gories. You are dancing so furiously you call the police and enact a restraining order on yourself. Later, for your hustle and spirit, you’re initiated into the secret sacred order of the Bohemian Grove. That will be fun until you get deported or jailed. You’ll have a chat about entomology during the slow dance portion of the night (Jeremy Jay “Beautiful Rebel”). It will be pretty cool I think.”
catch Ian and all the songs we couldn’t find on MP3 to complete this playlist tonight at Bourbon
totally fits the BYT mold, no?
February 21, 2008 at 9:44 amwell, I’ve been called a lot of (unmentionable) things on this site, but pretentious definitely was never one of them.
And, I personally thought Ian’s write up was hilarious. Intentionally.
February 21, 2008 at 9:47 amNo, it doesn’t fit the BYT mold as I know it. It fits the BYT mold as some people see BYT I suppose.
I didn’t find it hilarious. I found it prentious as all fuck. Wait, I said that, didn’t I? Well it bears repeating. It also wasn’t very good and here I’ll be a harsh critic:
You can’t be spat somewhere if you’re drawn somewhere.
It’s hardly a rumored environment.
Lots of DJs spin vinyl, notably DJ (Turntablist) DK.
““This will seem too violent and existential a song to share with a stranger, but tyou might say to yourself “Heck, why not? Maybe a chance to enact a completely irrational and surreal episode.” ”
The above comes off like a first year Grad Student trying to impress a freshman Highschooler.
The rest wasn’t bad as far as surreal episodes go.
Still, I like Ian.
February 21, 2008 at 9:55 amYou know what else bears repeating? You popping a breath mint, Michael. Your breath is kickin, son. Seriously, it smells like you’ve been smoking a shit cigar. I’ve stood in front of you at the bar, and you exhaled and flowers everywhere wilted.
Just a helpful hint.
February 21, 2008 at 10:36 amMy breath smells like an ashtray!
Right now it smells like Red Hots though.
Your mom digs it.
February 21, 2008 at 10:52 amno it smells like shit. see a dentist.
February 21, 2008 at 11:23 am4 out of 4 people I just went to and breathed on in my office and asked for constructive criticism disagree (I need an MSPaint drawing of that) and I’ve not brushed my teeth since breakfast (and I do brush 4-5 times a day). Either 1: you mistook my breath for someone elses (not hard to do in a very crowded bar) or you’re just hating to hate with no basis in reality.
Regardless, I’ll keep some tic-tacs in my pocket for the after drink smoke.
I heart BYT.
February 21, 2008 at 12:25 pmfugazi sucks and so does ian.
February 21, 2008 at 12:30 pmprentinous and hipster, imo, are synonymous.
BYT promotes what can be classified as “hipster” happenings. thats all i really meant. i mean, the name itself, is ripped right from hipster jargon, no?
yah, i can be classified in the same box, prentious hipster, but the ability to look at oneself, not take it all too seriously, and laugh is key.
February 21, 2008 at 12:48 pmthe name itself is ripped off of an Evelyn Waugh novel “Vile Bodies”, which was written 85 years a go.
I know because it was me that ripped it off.
Which is way more pretentious (a word you darlingly misspelled several times now)
than any hipster jargon will ever be.
And funnier too.
Research is everything:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vile_Bodies
February 21, 2008 at 12:50 pmbeing a hipster in 2008 is like being grunge in 1993…if EVERYONE is doing it how hip can it be?
February 21, 2008 at 1:04 pmnew comment approval rule:
whoever mentions the word “hipster” in their comment, does not get it approved.
(and I click the “approve comment” button for every offensive and non-offensive comment)
same goes for posts.
no exceptions.
I heart svet.
February 21, 2008 at 1:11 pmLet’s put this to bed. Being a hipster means you know a lot about a certain subculture, particularly a musical one, and are pretty snobby about what you think is high quality stuff. Being pretentious means you don’t actually know something, but pretend to know about in order to look cool. Ian is a true fuckin hipsters because he knows shit, and he ain’t afraid to talk about it. Don’t be hatin cuz he’s cooler than you little people… him (and me): we got nothing but love for your ignorant ass. Half-reading a funny article about awesome music and making a snappy comment without addressing its point: the height of pretension.
Here ya go Mikey, I live to serve!
http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l228/geo-gia/mikeydonlikeit.jpg
February 21, 2008 at 1:23 pmhe knows a lot about making shitty overated music ..lol
February 21, 2008 at 1:31 pmYou mean in his band “Fugazi”? A h*pster would probably be better at getting their Ian’s straight.
February 21, 2008 at 1:49 pmnope. the nose knows. it stinks. sorry, deal.
February 21, 2008 at 2:08 pmthis is like high school. h*pst*rs are the new cheerleaders/jocks… the vanity around here is something else. ian knows exactly where his tongue is, always.
February 21, 2008 at 2:35 pmPedro - Pretentious actually means:
1. full of pretense or pretension.
2. characterized by assumption of dignity or importance.
3. making an exaggerated outward show; ostentatious.
Note there isn’t anything about believing to know something but not knowing. That’s because being pretentious has nothing whatsoever to do with lack of knowledge of a subject, in fact you would have to first be knowledgeable about a subject in order to be pretentious. Further, pretension means:
1. the laying of a claim to something.
2. a claim or title to something.
3. Often, pretensions. a claim made, esp. indirectly or by implication, to some quality, merit, or the like: They laughed at my pretensions to superior judgment.
4. a claim to dignity, importance, or merit.
5. pretentiousness.
6. the act of pretending or alleging.
7. an allegation of doubtful veracity.
8. a pretext.
Since you’ve got to get all the way to sub-def 6 to find a definition that would allude to not knowing a subject, my label stands. To me that write-up smacked of ostentatiousness (number 3 of Pretentious) . I know Ian. I know he knows a fuck of a lot about music. I like Ian. I did not like that write-up. It seemed too reaching and too full of itself for the sake of itself. That’s fine. Have you read some of my shit? Holy crap. I should be forbidden from writing.
The point was what, then? That it would be a dance night full of music no one has heard before? Or that it would be a dance night of music causing one to believe they were in a story by Lautremont? Because I’ve read Lautremont and no music could recreate his world and no one would want to live in that world. I’ve posted snippets of his writing here (read Memoirs of a Holly Le for an example). His world is fucked up. Burbon, no matter what music is playing, is not fucked up, not unless people are going to end up fist-fucking infants and eating goat dicks.
Nope. Posting anonymously on the internet is for retards.
February 21, 2008 at 2:35 pmi don’t know, man. i just hope he plays some pm dawn.
February 21, 2008 at 4:10 pmSince people frequently misread my intent - I am positive this would be a great listening (if not dancing) event. I just thought the write-up could have been a lot better. I expect more out of Ian because he is smart.
February 21, 2008 at 5:31 pmI got an electronic bad breath detector the other day, we can test it out on Saturday if you want. Although I have yet to find anyone to register above a frowny face so either the device is a joke, broken, or me and everyone I’ve tested it on has the shit breath even after brushing and listerine.
PS. Ian the person and Ian’s music are both class acts
February 21, 2008 at 5:49 pmCale - absolutely (to the tester and your comments about Ian). However I’ve received, as of this writing, 13 e-mails stating I don’t have doo-doo breath. Got to love a hater.
February 21, 2008 at 6:11 pmI was going to go to this event but fear the conversation will resemble the bickering here and so have canceled my flight.
Thanks, Internet.
February 21, 2008 at 7:59 pmI just want to say that I love my boyfriend so much and his music! And also, all of these lame hater postings are making my penis soft!
March 12, 2008 at 12:52 pmhahaha, this writeup and all these comments are amazingly hilarious. no one ever said ian s. wasn’t pretentious, but hes also one funny fuckaa even when hes not trying that hard
May 2, 2008 at 10:57 am
Wow. That was pretentious as all fuck.
February 21, 2008 at 9:30 am