Brightest Young Things

Hey Fan Death Fellows [Sean and Chris]!

Someone finally sent us Girls/Fags at BrightestYoungThings.com that interview you guys did with All Our Noise a few weeks back that generated all that controversy and involved our site, I guess because some of the bands you mentioned have written for us before (I didnt catch any part where you guys pointed as us, but somehow a bunch of city paper commenters decided to bust our chops.)

Frankly, we so aint mad atcha.  If anything, we salute you and your strong opinions about the scene, and more importantly we'd love to feature more of your artists. The world in general needs more disgusting hard rock and roll and DC specifically does, so keep us (particularly my email) close at hand if you ever need any help promoting a show or announcing a release. I missed DNA testfest last year but I definitely won't now.

Anywayz, we're having a ridiculous boat party on the potomac river tomorrow, and we'd love to give you guys some tickets, so if you feel like to coming out on a three-hour tour amongst a bunch of yuppie dorks it would be hysterical and we could talk about Hawkwind.

Good luck, keep fuckin shit up,
--peter

Fan Death Records to Peter

show details Feb 17 (1 day ago)

no we are never going to any of your parties. Name dropping hawkwind isn't going to help either. One of your dorky ass writers has a copy of the new Puerto Rico Flowers EP we put out. Review it, feature it or whatever it is you guys do. here's a download link if you cant find the write who has it: [url redacted]

Peter to Fan

show details Feb 17 (1 day ago)

lol pwned
well it was worth a shot
i'll check out the EP

ps i agree about screen viynl image (obv)

AND SO, HERE IS THE REVIEW:

Puerto Rico Flowers is the new project by John Sharkey III  the main instigator from Clockcleaner, the GG Allin-esque Philly Skull Rock band who lived to piss people off. They pissed off Nirvana fans by calling an album Nevermind, Negative Approach fans by doing a slow and punishing  15 minute cover of one of their tunes while opening for them, and terrified sensitive indierock types everywhere for being compared to Skewdriver and dropping the n-bomb (cf. Nigger) onstage. The bad news is that as they went on they moved more and more towards a pleasurably aggro mishmash of sludgey late 80s grunt rock (Cows, Killdozer, pre-grunge seattle) with tuneful gothic and even (gasp) synth-pop touches. The good news is that they broke up.

Unfortunately, his solo EP '4' continues the trend of Mr. Sharkey making really interesting music. The tracks I downloaded are all pretty long, so sitting there listening to them in a row, despite there only being 4 of them, takes about half and hour which is all the time I give records these days. The first thing you hear on every song is the bass tone, which is dirty and fuzzy like Jesus and Mary Chain or an old burning tire in a factory parking lot. The second thing you notice is the synth sound, which sounds like shit. I don't know what broken-Casio setting on his Korg could produce such a hard tinny archaic racket...my guess is Sharkey dug up a member of TSOL and stole their moldy rig. It's so shitty, and so loud in the mix, it's obviously a totally killer style and unlike just about anything I've ever heard. Someone finally figured out how to make crappy Christian Death into a trash-meme, like Dischord did 30 years ago with cheap 30 watt amps cranked all the way up or the Queers did with the Ramones +/- nothing. Over this plodding thriftstore melancholy is Sharkey's wobbly not-singing.

Where Ian Curtis and Rozz Williams (and Ricky Williams  from the Sleepers who is Sharkey's almost exact vocal doppleganger) intoned about literal torture death and graves, PRF is concerned with the emotional violence in kitchens and bedrooms (possibly because he got married recently) and the ghosts of dead relationship. Of course you could say that the proto-goths' obsession with supernatural shit was a pathetic fallacy for real-life subjects but I'd just counter with the plausible vice-versa that PRFs mundane relationship horrors are a stand-in for the singer's secret desire to kill everyone he loves and we're back where we started: blissfully wallowing in darkness.

How could the purveyors of a unique and decisive new folk style not be total dicks to everyone who doesn't share their aesthetic? Record labels like Fan Death have to exist in a state of total war against the progressive mainstream of positivism and inclusiveness, they have to exclude everyone who doesn't conform to their limited understanding of rock music or else perish. It's no accident that anything-core has often taken the tactics and language of fascist conservatism..."Girls and Gays" are the enemy, not in their physical form (I'm sure there are plenty of fans of this and other rock purist genres who are women and/or gay) but as emblems of a fag/pussy modern world degraded and pretentiously obsessed with things that are nice. Let's be nice, let's listen to lots of nice kinds of nice music, let's pretend we like our friend's mediocre band, let's not believe there's such a thing as greatness because music really isn't that important and it's all like just an opinion, let's review this record because it's what everyone is talking about and because a rising tide lifts all boats who cares if the water is 99% murky bullshit, let's welcome everyone as long as they're nice and not mean, let's not talk about it, let's forget that punk rock is not very nice and that ruining someone else's nice brainless disco party is sometimes the result of challenging art.

Let's Make Friends? Let's not, and say we did.

Let's Make Friends -- Puerto Rico Flowers by snarkypete

Get a copy of 4 on Amazon or viynl.