Brightest Young Things

One of my favorite things is knowing how bands got their band name. But a lot of bands like to invent a story that they think is better than the truth. The classic example is how Lenny Kravitz claims that it's a shortening of Leonard Kravitz, when actually it's an acronym meaning Least Entertaining, Nearly Nude Yahoo-  Kills Rapes and Appropriates Viable Imagery, Thanking Zero.

Anyway, I've compiled a bunch of other bandname etymologies (using a very cool source I just learned about) contrasting what the band SAYS, and what REALLY was the case.

Please enjoy these fruits of my Sunday eve.

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311 SAYS

The name was erroneously thought to be an allusion to the Ku Klux Klan, and band members have given various other explanations in the past.

REALLY

*they were really excited when they had dinner with Lauren Hill, Tommy Hilfiger, the timberland guy, and Kramer.

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Audioslave SAYS

according to lead guitarist Tom Morello the name supposedly came to singer Chris Cornell in a vision.

REALLY

*Chris Cornell's visions are also responsible for cologne scented incense.

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Alice Cooper SAYS

Alice Cooper was the name of a spirit that members of the band came in contact with through a Ouija board.

REALLY

*This was right before they compared pubes and then prank called the restaurant Bombay Gaylord.

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Backstreet Boys SAYS

They are named after a flea market in Orlando, Florida.

REALLY

*its the only place in Orlando where you can buy mesh tank tops in five colors.

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Blind Melon SAYS

Bass player Brad Smith's father used this term to refer to some hippies who lived in a commune near his house.

REALLY

*Blind Melon identify with hippie culture?

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Counting Crows SAYS

Lead singer Adam Duritz liked the alliteration.

REALLY

*Lead singer Adam Duritz wishes he was someone a little more funky.

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Dexys Midnight Runners SAYS

from the stimulant Dexedrine.

REALLY

*A girl named Eileen needed a band to play one song at her wedding.

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Fastball SAYS

From a baseball porno film the band saw.

REALLY

*From a baseball game the band went to.
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Foo Fighters SAYS

A term used by World War II pilots to describe strange flying fireballs they sometimes saw.

REALLY

*Grohl probably had a lot of Kurts journals. Just sayin' that first album is awesome and the subsequent ones are a real waste of time. SEE: Hole.
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Gnarls Barkley SAYS

Members Cee-Lo and Danger Mouse couldn't think of anything so they just stole their name from someone's fantasy basketball team.

REALLY

*You're telling me Cee-Lo ripped someone off that wasn't Sun Ra.

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Grateful Dead SAYS

Garcia found the name in the Funk & Wagnalls Folklore Dictionary, when his finger landed on that phrase while playing a game of "dictionary". Sandy Troy states that the band was smoking the psychedelic DMT at the time.

REALLY

*and you can be certain that Funk and Wagnalls is definitely the official dictionary of someone who smokes DMT and plays with a dictionary.

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Jamiroquai SAYS

The band name is a combination of the word "jam" and the Native American Iroquois tribe.

REALLY

*it means "that one video was sick" in Iroquois.

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Joy Division SAYS

In order to avoid confusion with the London punk band Warsaw Pakt, the band renamed themselves Joy Division in late 1977, borrowing their new name from the prostitution wing of a Nazi concentration camp.

REALLY

*i had a joy division t shirt in community college and was stink-eyed by my very old psych professor Dr. Greenbaum. He didn't care about my David Allen Coe t-shirt though, even though he is ACTUALLY a vocal anti-semite.

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KISS SAYS

Kiss denies the rumors that the name stands for "Kids In Service of Satan", "Knights in Satan's Service" or the saying "Keep It Simple Stupid.

REALLY

*any of those are better band names than KISS.

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The Lemonheads SAYS

Named after the candy.

REALLY

*this is also true for the band The Whatchamacallits.

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Marcy Playground SAYS

Frontman John Wozniak would look out the window of his third grade classroom and see that playground and wish he could play there - but he didn't because there were bullies there who would beat him up.

REALLY

*neither that story, nor the song Sex and Candy have ever gotten anyone laid, but got one guy at MICA a sympathy over the bra boob touch from a girl who likes graffiti.

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Mötley Crüe SAYS

The re-spelling was their own invention; using the umlauts came to them while they were partying and drinking Löwenbrau beer.

REALLY

*Tommy Lee craves a life of chaos and danger, and that craving is never satisfied.
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Motörhead SAYS

British slang for a drug user who uses a lot of speed. Originally, the band wanted to be called "Bastard" but were convinced to rethink this decision when told that their music would never gain mainstream publicity with such a band name.

REALLY

*so you're saying that the least metal thing they ever did was call themselves Motorhead? that still beats everyone.

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No Doubt SAYS

A favorite phrase of John Spence, it became the name of the band prior to his suicide.

REALLY

*On his grave it says: named the band No Doubt by being a kind of surfy dude who liked to take it easy and scope out chill places to hang loose.

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The Pogues SAYS

Originally called Póg mo Thóin - Gaelic for "Kiss my ass". Shortened to The Pogues after complaints received by the BBC.

REALLY

*Gay-lick. LOL.

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The Residents SAYS

In 1971 the group sent a reel-to-reel tape to Hal Halverstadt at Warner Brothers. Because the band had not included any name in the return address, the rejection slip was simply addressed to "The Residents".

REALLY

*Girl at Tryst says: thats so raaaandom!

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Smash Mouth SAYS

Football players use this slang term in any game with a lot of blocking or tackling.

REALLY

*no one in Smash Mouth likes Smash Mouth

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Sum 41 SAYS

The band started 41 days into the summer.

REALLY

*on the 42nd day Derek Whibley died. (too soon?)

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Third Eye Blind SAYS

Our third eye is the imagined one that gives us a kind of sixth sense (telepathy, ESP, etc.) and the band felt that most of us are blind in that sense.

REALLY

*because of this blindness, they do crystal meth and hang out on ledges. They're like "can i graduate?!" and god is like "it's closing time." and they're like, you're thinking of another band...

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Weezer SAYS

Band member Rivers Cuomo had the nickname "Weezer" in school because of a breathing problem.

REALLY

*my friend told me he saw rivers cuomo take a piece of pizza out of fanny pack he was wearing, take one bite, and very carefully put it back in.