Brightest Young Things

Dischord records is turning 9000 this year or something so they're re-releasing a bunch of out of print CDs like Grey Matter's Food For Thought on vinyl, and, even cooler, they stole Jawbox's out-of-print masterpiece 'For Your Own Special Sweetheart" from the major label that originally lackadaisically put it out and brought it home to where it belongs which is Arlington VA. To mark the occasion, Dante (drummer of GM and owner of the Black Cat is commandeering his own club TONIGHT and playing a bunch of the new and old DC tracks at the Cat, and Geoff is helping, and there are couches. Presumably you will go to support them and gawk at old famous hardcore faces, but while it might be tempting to celebrate their continued success at being a real actual independent label still putting out kickass music (cf Title Tracks) I would like to instead take this opportunity to demand that they re-master and release my favorite out-of-print albums from back in the day that either were or should have been Dischord top-ten platinum monster-hits.

SOLID BRASS -- CIRCUS LUPUS
On their first album 'Supergenius' CL was Mark E. Smith singing for Gang of 4. On this shit, the band skips the funk and channels Jesus Lizard (and on Pop Man, REM) while Chris Thompson adds some off-key yowling to his chants. Like a punch covered in rumcake, and just as likely to get you high in a bad way.

SNAKES -- I WONT LOVE YOU TILL YOU'RE MORE LIKE ME
Can you purposefully model a band on outsider artists like Daniel Johnston or Butch Willis? No you cannot. But what if you try anyway? Well then you make a record so silly that everyone wants to listen to it but then it embarrasses your dead serious record company and they pretend it doesn't exist. Every song on this LP (and the double-CD 'happy') is an inspiration to any band that prefers to record with one mic while stoned watching cartoons, but especially For Colored Girls is great because it makes fun of two important subjects: suicide and avant garde afrocentric playwrights of the mid-70s. "Why why, what's the point?"

TRENCHMOUTH -- CONSTRUCTION OF NEW ACTION
No, this isn't the band Fred Armisen was in before he was on SNL...well OK yes it is that band but that's not all they were. Fugazi always flirted with Reggae but these guys were going steady with that bitch...and they were so paranoid they made Ian Svenonius sound like William F Buckley. Despite being Chicagoans, can you get more DC than wearing turtlenecks on stage? How could we not embrace the War of the early-90s, despite Fred's sometimes racist comedy caricatures nowadays? Reclaim this immediately from Skene.

KEROSENE 454 -- CAME BY TO KILL ME
DC's Answer to Jawbreaker was: "Thank you sir may I have another?" I would also accept Bluetip's 'Dischord #101' for the same heavy bass-heavy primo reasons.

CANDY MACHINE -- MODEST PROPOSAL
This would make so much sense for Dischord to rescue from the ashbin of brilliant losers, since the company put out their 3rd record Tune International (ALSO HORRIBLY OUT OF PRINT). So please guys, do the right thing. The only reason every angular disco-punk pomo slam-poetry band from this century (moving units, rapture, LCD soundsystem even sometimes) doesn't list them as their #1 influence and patron saint is that they have no idea who they are. The lead singer was this amazing homunculus with sunglasses who held a drink and rapped like he was haranguing you at a sleazy drug party about his cable access documentary on Illuminati bank robbers while the rest of the band did their best JB's impression. Don't let the dream die, they could be the next Rocket from the Tombs!

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(John Foster-style addendum: Please also release Romania's Remodel, Salem 66's Frequency and Urgency, and everything Senator Flux ever did, obv).

Anyway, see you tonight, beers on me! (lol)