To be frank, we felt kinda… lucky. I mean, being LISTED to a WORLD PREMIERE screening of a hiiiiiighly anticipated Nat. Geo. film, compliments of the lovely Julie Frazier, who by the way could easily sub for Vanna White should she get sick [of Sajack]. Meanwhile, other Nat. Geo. fans have to keep their pants on until it airs Sunday, April 13th at 9pm. I’d say that’s lucky. So what if the film was compressed to a sixty-minute, it’s not like we were going to tell anyone that. No , “We saw the WHOOOLE thing,” I planned to gush.
Beforehand, we were thrown into a haute reception of candy towers and fruit pyramids and mini burger trays and free flowing winefalls and mashed potates in martini glasses and chicken skewer collections and caesar salad bars [WITH baristas] and all we wanted to do was consume it all, I suppose like any average American would.
Short and sweetly, like the Hershey bar I devoured in the first five minutes of the screening and didn’t share with anyone, Nat. Geo. teamed up with the Wildlife Conservation Society to produce an informative piece on what the average American consumes in a lifetime, and called it “The Human Footprint”, I presume because “Big Foot” was already spoken for. Hate to be kitsch with this upcoming phrase, but it was quite a spectacle.
Elizabeth Vargas [complete with khaki camel toe] walked us through the lives of a boy and a girl [who in the beginning I thought were brother and sister, and by the end were old and married] and illustrated to us great number after great number of what they consumed and expended in during different stages of their lives. As I was sitting beside a vegetarian, and I personally just say no to milk, we huffed and puffed at the beef and milk carton factoids, and gave each other those, “Psh, whatever, not me”, faces, ya know, just for fun. And while the film danced around being judgemental, we still felt like abso crap walking out of the theater thinking about the 9,917 potatoes we’ve eaten since 1983.
But even still, peel your eyes and not potatoes, and tune in on Sunday.
http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/channel/human-footprint/
