Narnia: First Blood Part 2
Children grow up so fast these days. I can remember a time in my youth when I was a precocious little scamp, playing with a wheel and a stick, frolicking up and down the cobblestone streets that line the banks of the river Thames, begging people for half a shilling to go buy a newspaper full of hot, greasy, delicious fish and chips. Eventually I found a dirty old rag and half a discarded tin of Old Lincoln shoe polish, and started my own business. “Shine your shoes, mister!” I’d say, and hope I made enough money to ease the pain of my mother’s terrible whooping cough affliction. Those were the times, weren’t they, you old so-and-sos!
My days as a nineteenth century cockney bootblack aside, childhood is a magical time for all things. It was a time when even the most mundane days of playing with your friends turned into extreme flights of fancy, where every lawn was a distant planet, every cardboard box a spaceship, and all of you were dragons, or astronauts, or Jesus. Or Astronaut Dragon Jesus – soaring through the stars, breathing fire on heathens, looking good in sandals, turning the endless vacuum of space into breathable air. So what if I had a different childhood fantasies just because I was Catholic. In the name of the father, the son, and the Holy Gamera, indeed. I still set out to explore a world that, even though it only existed in my mind, was as real to me as the visions I had when you I did ’shrooms at Bonaroo last year.
And if I ever opened my closet and found out I could escape the horrors of Hoodbridge Middle School by traveling to a distant land called Narnia and become a High King, I certainly would have lost my shit. Both literally and figuratively. But what would happen if I had to come back to my regular life after adventuring with a talking lion? Well, this is the question that The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian poses.
We pick up the story back in not-so-merry old England during the war. Everything is pretty crappy for our heroes, and the eldest male Penvensie child, Peter(William Mosely), has turned into a complete dick. It seems that being a high king caused him to get a big head. No matter for that, because almost immediately they are whisked off to Narnia; called by Prince Caspian(Ben Barnes). Prince Caspian has been ousted by his evil stepfather, Miraz(Sergio Castellitto) in a bid to take over the throne. Prince Caspian, the Penvensies, and all the fantastical creatures of Narnia join forces to try to stop King Miraz and reclaim the kingdom and Caspian’s rightful place as King of Narnia.
What follows is probably the most violent PG rated Disney movie I have ever seen. The remainder of Narnia is a fast-paced, action-packed fantasy war film. It doesn’t let up, and there aren’t many pauses for character development. The few respites that let us know about who the characters are, are well placed, and don’t overstay their welcome. This is a fantasy adventure film, consarnit! We want to see centaurs and talking badgers, swords, chainmail, and duels to the death. All of which Narnia delivers in spades, especially so in a tense scene involving the raid of a castle.
This also, is a Disney film, which means there has to be some cute comic relief characters. Much to my surprise, there were two that stood out: a gruff dwarf named Trumpkin(Peter Dinklage) and a valiant mouse named Reepicheep(voice of Eddie Izzard). Both were funny enough for both adults and children alike(I hate that phrase, but w/e). More importantly, I liked them because they were constantly stabbing people and slitting people’s throats. Don’t ever again say that my heart is two sizes too small when it comes to adorable comic relief characters.
Narnia 2 is one of those rare sequels that surpasses the quality of the first film. I mean, it’s no Teen Wolf Too, but Jason Bateman can’t be in every movie now, can he?
My Reaction: Pretty Good(3.5 out of 5)
Next week: The summer movie season has started off pretty well so far, kids. I have yet to be disappointed. So I’m crossing my whips and fedoras that Indy 4: Voodoo Glow Skulls will be as awesome as I hope it to be. Til then, There’s no time for love, Doctor Jones. Stay fantastical, kids.
i thought you would like that.
May 22, 2008 at 10:19 amWhen I was in one of my transitionary high schools, and in 9th grade, and before I realized that girls realized that I was kind of cute, I fell in with two dweebs who got me into Elf Quest comics and fantasy role playing.
I decided I was Trumkin the Fawn.
Luckily we moved again in a few weeks.
May 22, 2008 at 10:45 amgreat review! i loved the movie, even tho i was surprised by the violence due to the PG rating. but i thought it was beautifully filmed and acted, and that all the CG animals looked better than in the first movie.
May 22, 2008 at 10:46 amMichael - you will always be Trumkin the Fawn to me.
i also hope you realize you now have a new nickname. Trumkin the Wad has a good ring to it, don’t you think?
So I’m assuming the kids stopped sucking at acting in this one?
May 22, 2008 at 1:13 pmno. not at all. the kids still suck at acting. but because they don’t talk all that much it doesn’t really matter.
May 22, 2008 at 1:43 pm
You’re double selling your writing skills my good man.
May 22, 2008 at 9:59 am