Just in time for Halloween, Jason Griffenhagen, of Death by Sexy and sharp dressing fame, goes to see 30 Days of Night, which was, predictably enough, for pre-halloween season, numero uno on the box office this week. Blood Sucking Hollywood at its bloodiest.
Barrow, Alaska: not the place to spend winter break..
Brutal. This movie is just plain BRUTAL. Not brutal like forcing your way through an entire Mandate Night with Cavemen and Carpoolers. It’s more like how Dog the Bounty hunter is brutal. As he says, “You can never escape the Dog.” Well, there are vampires out and about this evening, Doug, and you can’t escape them either.
30 Days of Night is set in the remote Alaskan village of Barrow. Its distant northern location puts it in the unenviable position of going 30 days a year without sunlight. Normally, this wouldn’t be so bad. Think of all the shadow puppets you could make! Think of the nice gothic pallor you could work up! There’s very little chance for you to develop skin cancer! Unfortunately for the people of Barrow, a group of vampires also found out that this is a good place to hunt, what with the aversion to the sun and all.
And these aren’t your Anne Rice, let’s talk about our depression, wear puffy shirts, ponder our humanity vampires. No, siree-Lestat. These are feral animal vampires that wear the blood of their prey like war paint. And you can leave your crosses and holy water at the door buddy. That stuff works about as well on them as it would on a rabid jackal. The only way to kill these guys is by exposing them to sunlight or chopping off their heads, which leads to some particularly gruesome and surprisingly emotional scenes.
In the film, a ragtag group of survivors try to make it through the entire 30 days with no sun. They are led by a sheriff named Eben (who I thought was named Evan the entire film, but thanks to imdb, I was corrected) who is played with a steely strength by Josh Hartnett. The bare minimum of screentime is placed on setting up the story or the characters, and thankfully it takes little time to get to the action. And action do we get…these folks are put through the gamut. Unlike other horror movies that sprint to the finish: “We can survive if we just make it to morning,” the folks in this one have to make it through a marathon of horror for an entire month.
Ultimately, this film rivals John Carpenter’s The Thing* for its feelings of haunting isolation and debilitating fear it puts in the characters, as well as the audience. The shocks are good, not cheap, and there ain’t a dumb comic relief character to ease the viewer’s jangled nerves. And, as I said before, this movie is brutal. I just wish I had a gigantic blonde wearing a leather vest sporting a raging mullet sitting next to me in the theater. I could bury my head in their all-American armpit every time I got scared. Now whether that’s Dog or Dog’s wife, I surely don’t care. They both seem pretty tough to me.
Next week: Steve Carrell somehow gets less funny with every movie he makes with Dan in Real Life, and people are killed in new and interesting ways in Saw IV. Til then, I’m on the prowl folks. Stay indoors, kids.
*Best head-turning-into-a-spider scene ever. Plus it has Kurt Russel wearing a giant sombrero in it. Which can never steer you wrong.
I will only nuzzle if you wear a deodorant that’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman. so fresh, so clean.
October 24, 2007 at 11:59 am…dude, i am equipped with some “Clinical Strength” joints. I do NOT mess around with the perspiration junk. And by “nuzzle” do you mean in such a way so as to rip my flesh apart rapidly? You do understand- that which can be broken must be broken, right? as long as we’re clear on that.
October 24, 2007 at 12:06 pmIf you’re going to see a mainstream flick this month, make it this one. Am I going to be attacked and sh*t for saying that? I sound like such a dick. I was not crazy about the ending, but you’re right Jason, b-r-u-t-a-l!
October 24, 2007 at 12:21 pmI once spent a dark night (but not in a gay way) with Josh Hartnett, but that is another story. Thanks for the write up. I am too much of a wimp to actually go see it, but I get excited each time I hear “No God!” in the previews.
October 24, 2007 at 12:34 pmThis sounds like exactly the kind of movie I could only watch through a scarf.
October 24, 2007 at 12:37 pmi’m a sucker for horror flicks and it takes a whole lot to scare the bejesus out of me. this movie was ok.
that ben foster….he’s a badass, ESP in 3:10 to yuma. he’s like the new elijah wood you know. 28 weeks later…now that’s a fucking thriller.
if you want to see a scary movie, go see anything with Jamie Kennedy in it. That scares the s-h-i-thursday out of me.
October 24, 2007 at 12:44 pmAfter living for a year with a horror movie fanatic roomate, I have felt a little squimish and over-horrified. I saw ‘em all from Hitchcock to Hostel (it was 365 days of straight suspense, mystery and gore - that’s right, all religious and non-religious holidays included, especially thanks to that Black Christmas debacle). Anyway this 30 Nights sounds promising, I think I’ll get back on the horse. Phanks, Griph
P.S. do you mean LAME-ie Kennedy. *snarf*
October 24, 2007 at 3:42 pmi second the comment that the ending of 30 days of night was a bit lame.
however, i love me some comic book based movies.
October 25, 2007 at 12:34 amMiss Jean Brodie: The Black Christmas remake was a lame piece-of-hot-molten-lava. But the original is jeepers creepers in my face, neck, head, chest and stuff. What I mean is, check it out. It’s creepy.
October 25, 2007 at 10:23 amSaw it last night. Good, except that little girl vampire’s speaking role. She was creepy, but that line “I’m done playing with this one…” was just stupid. I wonder whose dick her momma sucked to get her a speaking rather than just visual role?
At least we know there will be a sequel now. Probably full of the suck, but a sequel’s guaranteed.
October 26, 2007 at 12:51 pm
i went to see this movie last weekend solely in order to see the scene that sent chills up my spine in the previews; girl whimpers, “Please God!”, Vampire replies, “No God.” eeek! needless to say, i was not disappointed- and while i expected this exchange, seeing it in proper context was even more thrilling. all around legit film. i’d see it again. you can nuzzle in my armpit, Jason! hahah!
October 24, 2007 at 11:51 am