Welcome to "Another Movie Guy?"! Normally I review recent new releases, but tonight is special. It's the night when Hollywood's best and brightest strut their stuff, and celebrate how awesome they are. It's the night when some sound editor wastes everyone's time by thanking every person he knows. It's the night when we watch montage after montage, and the background music gets exponentially more melodramatic. That's right, it's Oscar night!
I've decided to liveblog the ceremony*. With any luck, this exercise will serve as a permanent reminder of why I should never do this again. I only have bourbon and Milano cookies to help maintain my sanity. Some ground rules:
- I will only write, "This is fucking bullshit" once.
- During commercials, I plan to flip to AMC, which will be showing Goodfellas.
- I will drink only when I am outraged.
- If Kathryn Bigelow does not win Best Director, I'm turning off the TV and walking to the nearest bar.
I may seriously regret this.
* I'm on a flight that lands at BWI at 7pm, so I might miss the first segment of the evening. Don't worry, dear readers! Svetlana, Libby, and my drunken friends will provide with plenty of entertainment until I arrive.
God loves a cheerful giver.
Before the show starts, I just want to announce how much I detest this whole "10 movies nominated for best picture" thing.
At the airport drinking a beer. The weekend featured two heated conversations over whether avatar is worth a damn. Perhaps a harbinger of tonight's show? Only one way to find out.
avatar blows but it made 2.2 bill. its gonna sweep.
book it.
I wholeheartedly agree, Pedro, except for best director. Bigelow has been a favorite, and they've got to acknowledge both the critical darling AND the cash cow.
Bourbon and milano? I've got butter pecan gelato, bitches! Also I hope Avatar gets fucked.
1973 Oscars were presented on April 2, 1974 at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion
Hosts: John Huston, David Niven, Burt Reynolds, Diana Ross
Tatum O'Neal, age 10, was the youngest actress to win a Oscar
cyrus family is destroying me
So which pre-show are people watching? I'm on E! right now.
Hope all you want bradley
Oscar will crush your dreams like massholes crushing a health care bill
Alan, care to make it interesting?
kathryn bigelow is tall, amazing and cooler than 18 cucumbers. she just needs to win everything.
Erins on E lol
BOMPchickawanhwaow
Two things Sandra Bullock and Dolph Lundgren have in common: Neither has won an Oscar and both have fellated Jesse James.
Just watched Demi Moore teach Barbara Walters how to strip.
They have similar senses of humor too--they starred together in that movie about the cop who SMELLS crime
.
matt damon has no patience for ryan seacrest
What is going on with George Clooney's hair?! It looks atrocious.
What will Sandra Bullock be wearing this year? My guess is the grim reality of the sad state of movie acting this past year. And a diamond necklace.
These E fashion commentators are scary. I'd rather watch Seacrest.
even with that hair clooney is still the world's #1 pick for an oscar date.
Kathryn Bigelow is scary-hot but the only way she's going to get a statue is if she straps on a Nixon mask and puts a shotgun to the presenters head and swipes it before running off to Australia to ride the worlds biggest dingo.
Mark Antony is the only person that looks truly happy to see Ryan Seacrest. He also looks like J-Lo's bodyguard.
meryl street has the best skin in america.
i hate j.lo's dress
I love how all the red carpet commentators praise Queen Latifah's body & curves, while secretly knowing they'd kill themselves if they ever got that big.
I'm riding the metro so I'm just going to speculate about who's on tv.
Is that Paula Poundstone? She's got a great set of teeth.
Why is Peter Saaaarsgaaaaard baaald?
Peter Lorre looks fat. MORE LIKE DIAL M FOR MAYONAISE BRO
HAHA
Oh look it's Brian Blessed or possibly Brian Dennnehy. Either way I can't tell what they're shouting!
Why is Roman Polanski here with RuPaul?
Man my fantasies are weird.
I've never agreed with ANYONE as much as I agree with Cameron Diaz right now. The Shrek franchise will be missed. Why would you shut down Shrek just when it started to get cultural relevant?
OK the real red carpet show is on ABC now, Penelope Cruz's earrings look like flies swarming around her face. But I love her. Let's liveblog kids!
Mmmm Jake Gyllenhaal is sexxxxy.
Here's to Clooney's tranny.
George Clooney is such a cad.
Zac Efron looks gay and sounds British.
Sandra Bullock is like real people. Which is why she should be watching from home.
I'm back in DC, bitches! Bourbon is poured and I'm ready to go.
Christopher Plummer looks like Vincent Price ewwww
Of course Jennifer Lopez loved Precious.
I would loved to hear her say, "I loved District 9. Those anthropomorphic giant insects struck really close to home."
Matthew Broderick is a wax statue.
Jennifer Lopez is a lot of things.. including completely irrelevent. Maid In Manhattan may have been nominated if the academy had expanded the Best Picture field to 80 films in 2002.
The evening's true winner:
OH MY GOD THIS WHOOPIE GOLDBERG COMMERCIAL about "spritzing"...asdlkfjasdlkfjds
Whoopi Goldberg is an adult diaper.
I submit to you 30 Rock hasn't been very good this season. Thoughts?
Miley Cyrus needs to break free from her chastity prom dress.
Jeff Bridges is a lock. Book it. Done.
The Dude is here. Get that man a white russian.
Things I didn't want to think about today: Whoopie Goldberg's wet underwear.
Shit I really can't make a fat joke.
If Meryl doesn't win I will eat my...something.
What do you guys think of Streep's dress?
I think Meryl wore that dress in DEATH BECOMES HER
the woman from precious is so gracious with the idiot moron questions she gets
best actress should go to her for not eating them in anger
Although, wouldn't it be sorta awkward if it was Julie & Julia that she finally won for?
I am just glad we don't have to deal with Kathy Ireland anymore
if precious ate kathy ireland she'd turn into a shrek
My predictions before it gets started:
Picture - Avatar
Actor - Jeff Bridges
Actress - Sandra Bullock
Supporting Actor - Christoph Waltz
Supporting Actress- Mo'Nique
Best Director - Kathryn Bigelow
Best Animated - Up
Best Documentary - The Cove
Best Foreign Film - Toss-up between The White Ribbon and A Prophet
Anyone care to challenge?
update: just ordered chinese food
I had no idea that was Kathy Ireland. Eek
Water! Fire! Earth! Heart!
It's starting it's starting!!!
This is an interesting approach - nakedly pandering to those who merely want to ogle the actors.
You're totally right about Clooney's hair.
Now give me Baldwin.
I'm really sick of hearing Precocious based on the novel 'Push' by Sapphire. I've heard it a million times in the past moth. WE GET IT!! THe movie was based on a stupid as book. Drop it.
Hahahaha it's Hollywood's favorite gay!
Neil Patrick Harris is GAY!?!?!?!!
Neil Patrick Harris! In a shiny tux!
NPH!!! Best oscar move ever.
OMG GO TWILITE I HOPE IT WINS
Crucial Banderas beard, amirite?
Will Gabourey Sidibe from Push be able to lose the 180 pounds needed to play Della Reese's part in "Touched By An Angel: The College Years"?
heaven IS a place on earth
Wow even Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin look gay when they ride Glinda the Good Witch's stage contraption.
what a couple of kooks
@Corey. Yes. And they will announce the entire title when she is nominated for the inevitable supporting actress award.
Meryl Streep jokes #1 and #2.
I want Steve Martin's tux. Real bad.
Steve & Alec are wearing really baggy pants. It's distracting me. I need more wine.
thats the only time plummer will stand up tonight
or ever again
RIP
That doesn't make sense. The Last Station wasn't even nominated for Best Picture. Who am I to gripe?
It's funny, however, they're getting the second-tier nominated movies first.
Is Jack Donaghy going to translate correctly to the Oscars? So far Baldwin gets a 4 out of 10.
I think the hosts were picked specifically to entertain my parents.
Steep joke #3: Hitler Edition.
i am not really enamored with the two men i am normally completely enamored with
I was waiting for that Martin joke. I'm glad he went for it.
begging for a fat joke
ONE TIME BABY
Monique has razor-like eyebrows.
Bobby G, it's time for you Woody Harrelson story.
Applause for DIVORCE!!
kathryn bigelow still super hot
OK I'm ready for a minor award now. Or for the Cameron/Bigelow celebrity deathmatch.
So is Diane Kruger. Hot damn.
Also, epic j00 joke.
Well Alan, I once sat on a Southwest flight from Vegas to LA next to Woody Harleson. He was high. Didn't remember ordering a coke while counting $10,000 and tried to get me to go gamble at Larry Flint's casino in LA. Yeah. He was fucking cool.
@Bobby G: You have to admit Sapphire negotiated an incredible contract if her book is mentioned everytime the movie is listed anywhere.
Cutting to an Ethan Coen reaction shot after the 'finding Jews' joke... priceless
That Damon/Affleck joke was not funny.
Jeff Bridges will always be THE DUDE to me.
Wow George Clooney deathglare.
NINE got utterly shafted this year (due in large part to the movie sucked). I'm sure it's the only reason District 9 was nominated for Best Picture.
waltz or doom for best supporting actor
How does the guy from Inglorious Basterds not win this? It's like getting herpes if you sleep with Paris Hilton. It's a done deal.
I feel bad for Steve Martin. Someone hand that man a banjo. He might need it later.
I didn't know there was a movie about Thoreau this year.
stanley tucci is creeping me out
Shameless plug: I interviewed the director/star of The Messenger. Check it out here http://www.brightestyoungthings.com/movies/lawrence-inglee-oren-moverman-and-ben-foster-talk-the-messenger-a-byt-interview/
and waltz it is. all is good and expected with the world
Uber BINGO. Nice beard Waltz.
Tortured metaphor as acceptance speech.
I love Waltz's sincerity. I feel here's more articulate than most winners. I can't wait to see what roles he does next.
So basically we get to see Christoph Waltz in a great movie each year for the next 5 years now. I'm okay with that.
Who would have thought a German would know that many American metaphors?
Ryan Reynolds' introduction to The Blind Side was his finest comedic performance ever.
Corey, he speaks 4 languages in Basterds. I'm pretty sure he's capable of anything.
Also, Reynold's delivery of those lines sounded as if he's aware of how cliche-ridden The Blind Side is. Ok, folks, it's commericial time - who would you have liked to see nominated instead?
500 Days of Summer, perhaps, or Julia
Sugababes in a JC Penney commercial?
@Alan I did quite like 500 Days.
jc penney always rules the oscar commercials
So if there's the Oscars then anything starring Jennifer Aniston and Gerad Butler is the exact opposite right?
fantastic mr.fox should have been nominated for best picture and best animated feature, just like "up"
for some reason ben affleck and jenifer garner's marriage is fair game this year
kind of wish these two were hosting the awards instead
I really like this segment. Needs more Kinks.
Wow someone put shrooms in my gelato...
NO ONE HAS SEEN SECRET OF KELLS. Christ, I hate when the Academy does this.
Note: it comes out in DC on April 2nd. Review forthcoming.
Just seeing Doug from up made my day. "THIS IS NOT FOOD."
Shocker: Pixar wins Best Animated Picture.
and the crowd goes uninterested
Why do we pretend Barack has big ears, when there are guys like this out there?
Speaking of binging, time for more booze.
amanda thought she was getting married at prom today
So Ed Asner isn't even given a chance to give a confused congratulations to his co-stars in Hill Street Blues?
Wow...if you turned Miley's face blue, she'd look like the Na'vi.
Note: the season 4 finale of Big Love, featuring Amanda Seyfried, is on HBO right now. I plan to watch tomorrow.
When is Randy Newman not nominated for an oscar?
Yes, that is Colin Farrell sing. He does a good job, very surprising.
and Evanescence, from Spider Man
muzak version includes the lyrics "i love u more than rainbows"
"I love you more than rainbows."
WTF?
Weirdly enough, Clooney's character in Up in the Air is also named Ryan Bingham. Kinda surreal... maybe.
Sweet! My favorite song from 500 DAYS OF SUMMER is in a Diet Coke commercial. This night has been a success.
28 Days Later is on the Sci Fi channel (I'm not calling it Syfy). Nice balance to the stuffy Academy Awards, amirite?
i dont have anything to say i just wanted to get involved cuz i have something to promote
@jules: That Temper Trap song in the Diet Coke commercial is great. Also - Peter Sarsgaard looked like he had cancer.
Sorry Lexus, that commercial won't make up for the fact that your parent company makes nothing but deathtraps.
And Bad Boyz II is on NBC. It is so refreshing for a major network not to give a shit about their programming.
@Ryan We seem to have a lot in common. Are you single?
just opened my fortune cookie and it said "you have yearning for perfection"
actually fortune cookie i would settle for mediocrity tonight
Bradley, tonight my dad drove me from BWI back to DC in a Toyota. The battery ran out of juice so we had to get a jump. Perfect occasion to make easy joke about a disabled deathtrap.
tina fey and robert downey jr (and his tie) for the win. can they just stay on stage forever?
Robert Downey Jr. looks like/is an asshole.
Rbt Downey Jr looks like Elton John
I forgot to predict this. I think it'll be Tarantino. Could be wrong.
INGLORIOUS BASTERDS ftw
@jules Sorry no. But always willing to meet new friends that like making fun of possible cancer patients (hence my friendship with Alan Z).
"Thanks for reviving my career gulp ack this pride is going down hard tonight"
Although I hope Moverman wins just so I can say I interviewed an Academy Award winner.
hurt locker wins this cuz itll lose everything else
i seriously thought tarantino had this one
Crap, I should have guessed Mark Boal. This definitely means The Hurt Locker won't win Best Picture.
sure you dont wanna make that best picture bet alan
god i hate being "write" all the time
What do you mean? We both think it's Avatar, right?
just more opportunities to show kathryn bigelow, that's what this is all about
Jason Bateman and Jane Seymour?
What's that weird hissing sound?
molly ringwald has not spoken in public since 1986
Bueller montage FTW.
ferris bueller was a just a figment of camerons imagination fyi
This montage better have an abundance of Some Kind of Wonderful, the best John Hughes movie. FACT
THOSE AREN'T PILLOWS ftw
the first rule of ferris bueller is that you always talk about him all the time
the second rule of ferris bueller is the same as the first rule
i used to love james spader so much
I'm a lot like my mom. I'm cool with it.
i have a question: is the guy from "16 candles" the same guy as the guy in "mermaids"?
alan welcome to the bandwagon
also agree re: SKW
Wait Macauley Caulkin? I thought he OD'd years ago.
well, at least we get macauley culkin on stage
WHOA JUDD NELSON put the crack pipe down
OMG HE LOOKS LIKE SKELETOR.
John Hughes tribute lineup is scaring me
its funny how jon crier is the most successful one of these dorks
DUCKY WINS ASSHOLES
Yes I hope the die and I hope they burn in hell!!! - Sam Jackson
WHERE IS MY SUPER SUIT?
It's been an hour and they've only given out 4 awards. Uh oh.
What if Up was a total surprise upset Best Picture winner? I'd be kinda into that.
Bobby, I'm glad our Sammyjacks quotes are so wildly different.
ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK IT
Anyone see the shorts at E Street? What'd you think?
if up was to win best picture, mr.fox would have won for an animated one
OK please stop justifying this award.
logorama did seem kind of awesome based on those 10 seconds we just saw
Oh the French finally apologize for something!!! Thank god.
Link to Logorama:
Best Short Film is my second favorite category, second only to Best Unmade Film.
My By Prudence based on the Novel by Saphire ftw.
I saw the shorts at E Street-- Logorama was indeed really incredible. They saved it til the end and it ran with a violence/profanity warning in front so people could leave before getting offended.
Overall the shorts weren't as good this year as in past years, I thought.
wat
This jewish lady just shut down the black guy. She said 'You can't speak'.
Wait what just happened? Who invited Kanye?
Academy Awards stage is not handicapped accessible. it is, however, crazy lady accessible.
It got too weird for the producers, they played them off.
omg my mom got onstage and into the rum again
Great cast for The New Tenants. What's it about?
i feel bad for these poor avatars that have to introduce the freak show awards
Uh oh, funny Avatar joke got racist fast.
Whatever it's Ben Stiller. He deserves it
ok i said that before ben started doing that
omg this is so awkward
"I want to plug my tail into your dragon."
OK this may be my nerd showing but Star Trek was SO FUCKING GOOD WHEN IS THE NEXT ONE?
best facial hair goes to: meryl streep for her hitler mustache
Bradley, I completely agree. I don't know Abrams does it, but his pacing is incredible.
Dom DeLuise's son is wearing a Kangol.
ben was actually funny imo
A Serious Man based on the novel 'Push' by Saphire. Ok. That's the last time I make that joke.
My review of A Serious Man, the most challenging/rewarding Best Picture nominee: http://www.brightestyoungthings.com/movies/another-movie-guy-a-serious-man/
i miss shitty song and dance breaks
@Alan The New Tenants is about **spoiler alert** these two gay guys who move into a new place, and receive a steady stream of insane neighbor visitors, all of whom end up being shot or OD'ing. One is Vincent D'Onofrio lookin like Orson Welles. The dialogue is really stilted, kinda Mamet-esque, camera angles are really melodramatic. Then the gay guys dance in the street. The End.
bad spectacle is better than this nothing
of course they're all broke in hollywood now, i hear they can barely afford diamond adult diapers in the swag bags
I hope In the Loop wins. I know it won't. Probably Precious instead.
Safires gonna win this sorry bobby
Oh great it won and Lenny Kravitz was there to make it that much cooler. LOVE IT.
So I haven't seen Precious, and this guy's loud breathing convince me I never should. This is fucking unbearable.
I wish DISTRICT 9 had just won, but at least we got a Lenny Kravitz reaction shot. So worth it now. I'm being sarcastic.
I wish the world would stop using the P-word.
good speech so far, betcha the music comes on
The Award Speech based on the novel 'Push' by Safire in accordance with heaving breathing like a stalker. Well done.
Say hi to your girlfriend, Queen Latifah.
I love Lauren Bacall. Amazing she made her debut nearly seventy fucking years ago.
Lauren Bacall is hotter than Sandra Bullock.
That lampwall is freaking me out.
I wonder if Mo'Nique's speech will feature more heavy breathing than the Precious screenwriter.
@Alan. Only if there is a bucket of chicken involved.
Pretty sure I don't like the movie, but I love Maggie Gyllenhaal.
What's with Lenny Kravitz?
Well I didn't see it but with all the hub-bub I'm sure she deserved it. Plus we get to see more Lenny Kravitz.
WTF WHY DIDNT JESSICA WIN THIS IS SO UNFAIR
@Bradley lampwall!!! You're so right
Nice Hattie McDaniel callout.
Precious is the best thing that has ever happened to blue tulle.
@ Bobby G Racism WIN WIN WIN WIN !!!!1
Jeez, I thought that was Tyler Perry talking until they showed him in the audience.
Ok, to those who have seen Precious, is this earnestness justified? Seriously.
mo's gonna start beating skinny bitches to death on the way out with the statue
Ummmmm dude. It's ALL about the politics. Thanks for thanking your lawyer Monique.
@Ryan M, I meant it to be a fat joke but I guess either way works.
A salute to horror films? I actually like that - Oscars generally ignore genre films.
oh boy i cant wait for my tribute!
to-ga to-ga to-ga
wait wait. wasn't AVATAR like 95% special effects? Somebody got hosed here.
Avatar win #1. Prediction: no one film wins a ton.
WOAH that got heavy quick.
Wow these speeches really bring out my cynic.
Keeanu Reeves looked like he just got back from the Matrix. Kind of like Narnia but with more sunglasses.
Nice outfit, costume lady.
Huh, that's interesting. I guess Best Costume Design doesn't go to an overall effort, but an individual outfit. I had no idea.
WUT ABOUT THE CULLENS' MATCHING BABY BLUE COSTUMES THIS LADY ISNT EVEN HAPPY SHE WON.
Haha I dare anyone to make a speech that awesome. I totally want to hang out with her.
that bitch ruled
she was all stop giving me these yawn
Still pretty neutral on the iPad.
The iPad is like that costume designer, all entitled and anti-climactic
LOOK IM NOT A RACIST OR AGAINST FAT I JUST THINK TWILIGHT WAS BETTER THAN PRECIOUS OVERALL ON MERIT ETC.
Good news guys, yesterday I made the comment system for the new site with live insertion and auto-updates and AJAX and stuff, no more refreshy
New site?
He's pretty and she's plain, which is just as Stephanie Meyer intended.
Are you apologizing for bleeding Bella? It's only a little blood. I'm gonna take my shirt off now. BEST MOVIE EVER.
OMG I KNEW SHE'D PICK HIM! SUCK IT EDWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you guys think Silence of the Lambs qualifies as a horror movie?
OOoooh the stage is RED.
Whoa, this montage should come with major spoiler alerts.
Also, if Whatever Happened to Baby Jane qualifies as horror, then Silence of the Lambs definitely does.
ew kristin looks weird
what drug makes you cough and twitch and speak in wooden, barely intelligible sentences while showing emotions largely and blandly upon your obvious face? whatever that is, she loves it
There is Jodie Foster, briefly. Horror's been acknowledged since the Exorcist.
This is interesting. They should do this for all the technical awards.
I really like the stage, ps. Right now it kinda looks like Pandora.
HURT LOCKER.
OMG Bigfoot mixed the sound for The Hurt Locker.
ok look, spoilers are stupid.
its stupid to care about spoilers to say the word spoilers
its even stupid to KNOW what the word spoilers means
if you cant enjoy a movie even though you knows things that happen in it before hand, you should never see another film again or any other piece of narrative.
please
did they accidentally give two sound awards
she has bbq sauce on her face
I disagree, Peter. If you already know what happens in Rosemary's Baby before you see it, something is lost. It's possible to enjoy a movie even if the conclusion is foregone, but surprise is often an important element of movies, particularly horror.
awww liz hosted the sad-boy oscars how cute
you wonder why they don't zoom in on Travolta. It probably has something to do with the bad toupee. Just Saying.
nope, if the movie is good, hearing about the dumb plot twist wont hurt your enjoyment of it
rosemarys baby is a good example where everyone knows what happens in it but everyone still loves it thanks
soylent green is people
A good argument, but if it's possible to discuss a movie's merit without discussing important plot twists, it's good to err on the side of caution.
I still don't understand what cinematography is.
oh cool now james taylors gonna honor all the new vampires created this year
Alan and I just had the same reaction to James Taylor covering the Beatles. They were not kind words.
"A good argument, but if it’s possible to discuss a movie’s merit without discussing important plot twists, it’s good to err on the side of caution."
still, no. because it isnt. if you want to talk about a movie, you have to talk about what happens in it.
in reviewing a movie officially, sure, but everywhere else in the universe we get to talk about what we saw. sorry nerds.
Autoerotic asphyxiation FTW Carridine. Actually FTL.
I'm getting sweeeepy. More awards plz?
jokes on you bobby james taylor wrote that song
"in reviewing a movie officially, sure, but everywhere else in the universe we get to talk about what we saw. sorry nerds."
I meant reviews. Yeah, I'll spoil the shit out of something in one-on-one conversation. I ruined The Ghost Writer for several friends because its faults are directly related to the final revelations.
I'm glad to we agree.
I hope you're joking Pedro. Know your Lennon and McCartney tracks please. Shame shame.
First FUNNY PEOPLE, now this... someone needs to give James Taylor's agent an Oscar
Okay, I've had enough wine to say it: Sam Worthington = hottest presenter so far.
Uh oh interpretive dance. Didn't they realize what a bad idea this is YEARS ago?
Why are the dancers dressed like the cast of Glee?
this is the best thing ive ever seen
Bradley,
Not only is it a bad idea, but it belittles the effectiveness of the score. Terrible idea
What in the hell is this? "We're gonna recreate stop motion animation LIVE!! Where is my bag of coke?"
I think Up is my favorite.
Who the fuck is this choreographer who apparently thinks that everyone needs to do the robot?
why arent the presenters using the slides too?
seriously this is fucking great for some reason, maybe cuz the dancing has nothing to do with the music, which is decent
there should be more breakdancing to non-hip hop
Dance interlude: It has been broughten.
My vote is for The Hurt Locker. But none of these scores were particularly interesting, from what I heard.
this dancing was better than the Olympics
i dont care what anyone says: best (only?) oscar dance number ever
@jules I think we were all just served in some way shape or form. Also, every noun and verb in that sentence completely aroused me.
This guy was better than the costume designer.
Avatar is going to win this but I'm actually pretty annoyed about it.
I hate dancing and that dance thing was awesome
@Bobby G Awesome. Are you single?
My review of Up in the Air, which is (probably) my favorite movie last year:
http://www.brightestyoungthings.com/movies/another-movie-guy-up-in-the-air/
Haha. Yes @Jules. Is it that obvious?
ABC is clearly throwing a bunch of sci-fi-ish shows at the wall to see which one will replace LOST.
Bobby and Jules,
Look at this fucking love connection.
I totally vote for The Cove, just because that was some sweet guerilla shit.
Whoa. Fisher Stevens is alive and making films!!! He's come a long way from playing Indian guys in Short Circuit.
Me too, Bradley. It made me cry, which was totally unexpected.
CALLED IT
Here comes the political speech...
Oh god, Fisher Stevens is on tv... "Where is your capital?" "Washington, DC!"
Wow they cut away from that banner FAST.
Dickish cutaway from the political placard
@Bradley except the orchestra had to cut him off so we can see Tyler Perry
Hurt Locker deserves this one. Amazing editing.
tyler perry wrote that line where he told us that his joke was just a joke
CALLED IT x 2!
who's less oscar-friendly tyler perry or sam raimi
Keanu - "The files are IN the computer?!?!"
i didnt see hurt locker but the ads make it seem like crash 2: crash goes to war
im now actually rooting for avatar god help me
I'm half in the bag but I might be watching the HURT LOCKER tonight after the show. Wow.
Perry. Raimi had A Simple Plan, Perry never had the cross-over.
everyone else passed out didnt they
i just made popcorn, now is the drunk time when stars lose their shit onstage
Come see THE HURT LOCKER on the big screen at AFI you guys! Email me for tickets.
OMG the lampwall is back
God I hope it's The White Ribbon
Pedro. My popcorn is gone. I have some hoppy beers to keep me company. Let the insanity begin.
thank god foreign films
i had to pee so bad
best argentine film since Evita
Anyone see this one?
I love lampwall.
Wow Kathy Bates got DRAMATIC.
That troll in my Avatar review can go fuck himself:
http://www.brightestyoungthings.com/movies/another-movie-guy-avatar/
@Bobby G I hope that was an Anchorman reference.
Did the announcer just say "Or is a surprise in store?"
like what?
"and the winner is: OLD DOGS. DEATH TO XENU." *tom cruise* floats over the crowd glowing*
Also, my Avatar post is the only time someone threatened to stab me. That's how I know I'm doing something right. Thanks Reilly
Haha yes @Jules. Totally an Anchorman reference. Milk was a bad choice!!!
I love @Alan plugging his reviews. Yes he is a fantastic writer and yes I enjoy getting to go to screenings with him.
Thanks Bobby. I agree - my writing kicks ass.
Also, who doesn't love the fabulous baker boys?
I kind of zoned out
Yes @Alan. That was one of the best comment threads ever!! (outside of the BYT native american summer camp fiasco). Your next level of awesomeness will be acquiring a stalker.
Oh hey an award I care about.
Best Actor nomination intros = "This Is Your Life"
20 minutes for this but not 45 seconds to let a real director thank his family
ugh i hate actors
Me too, Peter
Okay. Tim Robbins. That was kind of great. So what happened with him and Susan Sarandon?
morgan freeman married his step granddaughter
they wanted to get morgan freedoms step-grandaughter/wife to speak but shes too busy throwing up about her own life
I really like Colin Farrell. He strikes me as sincere, am I alone in this?
and now, a toast to your ex girlfriends
i kid, i kid
to the bride and groom
Shocker.
jeff bridges!!!!! i love him and his age appropriate wife
I'm with you on Colin, Alan.
There's a beverage here man!! Kind of nice to see him win.
@Svetlana seriously!?!?!?
This sounds rehearsed.
what ive been waiting for all night
Nevermind, he's won me over.
@jules-yep http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/07/10/edena-hines-morgan-freema_n_229070.html
Has anyone ever used the word "man" more in an acceptance speech? Outside of the 70s I mean
but now im bored man
wrap it up dude
@Svetlana I think on the red carpet he introduced her as his 'daughter'. Totally creepy.
OK kids, it's been real but I'm out. Looking forward to waking up and watching Kathryn Bigelow's mostly-classy-but-slightly-spiteful-towards-James-Cameron acceptance speeches.
bradley-how can you quit 10 minutes before itis over?
Ugh you're right Svet I'm waiting for Actress. But I need my beauty rest. Ooooh Oprah.
forrest whitaker is somehow skinnier than oprah these days
Forrest Whitaker is looking great
Helen Mirren has a spiderweb tattoo? Saucy.
people keep laughing at forest's pretentious statements about sandra bullock cuz they think hes being sarcastic
I watched Fast Times at Ridgemont High last night and Forrest looks much more more svelte these days.
I think someone already said this but why is Peter Sarrrrrrrrsgard bald?
He totally wants to fuck her IRL.
Bald guys are gross
Please welcome Liz Lemon!!! or uhhhhhh Gabby!!!
Also Oprah looks great.
goddamn oprah. always gets me
the fact that peter skaarsgard is bald makes me realize how many bald guys must be hiding out under toupees in hollywood
END THE SILENCE
Meryl Streep just said "liar" with a glance and made it awesome.
i love stanley tucci.
I'm sorry, I hate Forest Whitaker. We called that movie POOP FLOATS when I worked at a video store in the 90s.
Peter Saaaarsgaaaard is hot whether he's bald or whatever, but why is he acting all creepy and sleazy like his character? And why did he give away the ending? Maybe he's stoned.
theyre going to give it to the precious girl and then pour pigs blood on her
AHAHAHHAHAHAHA
WASTED
Hot bald Peters ftw
everyone in the proximity of jeff bridges is stoned at this party
THEYRE ALL GOING 2 LAUGH AT U
CALLED IT x 3!
@jules Peter is totally stoned and Sean Penn looks like he needs some whiskey or maybe his twitching was him holding back on his political speech.
Lame. Sandra Bullock? Fuck this.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
such as the iraq
so i seriously thought this was not going to happen (Even though i cried during whole way through the blind side)
noooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooo
ooooooooo
ooooo
ooo
oo
o
make it stop
"Thank you for Julia Roberts for her work in Erin Brokovich, for without her this precedent wouldn't exist."
@Alan. Zing.
this is worse than hiroshima
its also worse than the movie she won for, probably, who knows
I LOVED "BLIND SIDE".
WAIT YOUR TURN FATTY
Not a bad speech, though.
seriously, barbra?
BIG-E-LOW
BIG-E-LOW
DEUCE BIGELOW ftfw.
or the winner could be...
pause..
AN AVATAR
(scattered boos)
2010-now that we have a black president maybe we can give a woman or a black person an oscar? maybe?
IF THERE IS A GOD QUENTIN WILL WIN
if there is Xenu, avatar
CALLED IT x 4
WOOOOOOOOOOT!
who?
YESSSSS now Hurt Locker just has to win best picture and James Cameron will have been DOMINATED.
Barbra is pretending Kathryn Bigelow is Hilary Clinton
make-up call for hillary
She looks GOOD. Someone's been doin' their yogalates.
This is really the only award I cared about. So happy for Bigelow. Her talent is unreal.
lol good call jules
she is probably the most obviously overwhelmed, excited person all night.
Tom Hanks?!?! Or should I say Otm Shank.
WHOA AWESOME FUCK CAMERON VICTORYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
please welcome Lord High Chancellor Tom Hanks who is not fucking around at all.
Wow no suspense. And Hurt Locker takes it.
hurt locker wins for best picture.
@Pedro Great minds, etc...
Wow did they practice that pose?
Dude on the right just peed his pants but doesn't want anyone see
Most Excellent. They look shocked and honored.
Bigelow can't even think right now.
well i stand corrected
tho i think kathryn wont once she falls over
They're there for us and I'm DOUBLE FISTING OSCARS BABY!
I love how much she can't even think right now. Imagine getting the best award possible in your life, twice in a row, and then it has the added bonus of fucking over your jackass ex-husband.
if she wins another award shes going to start thanking custodians at random
"Someone is getting pregnant tonight!!" Goodnight everyone. See you next year.
alright everyone go home now ill just be here pop-locking to Chicago soundtrack
Well, I'm glad to be wrong about Best Picture. Like Casablanca, a movie made in the throes of a current conflict, I think fans and critics will talk about The Hurt Locker for decades. Thanks for everyone who participated!
Let's do this again next year
Did they really have to play "I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar" when KB won? Really? What, the royalties for "You Oughta Know" were too high?
Okay boys, srsly, come see HURT LOCKER I will hook you up.
the ghost of dudley moore as Arthur is apparently alive and kicking and playing that ending music sequence
Okay I kind of wished in LA still because the news after the Oscar show is basically TMZ on steroids. Stupid DC!
What did you guys think of Precious' outfit?
____________
http://pursuitofparis.wordpress.com/
She's going to have to sell that Oscar to help pay the lawsuit off when she loses it. The Hurt Locker was crap.