As the song goes, love hurts. But love also stings, bleeds, cuts, screams, revenges and sometimes even murders. Because Jason’s got it covered, and weepy Svetlana’s got it covered, I thought I’d give you a different kind of movie list, a funky kinda of cinelove. Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring you a very special Valentine’s I, Queue Genius.
Secretary (USA,2002). Maggie Gyllenhaal’s turn as a secret cutter who has some serious social issues is the stuff that fantasies are made of. The sadist, masochist and perhaps even misogynist boss perfectly complements the quiet, pushover secretary who discovers love in the most fucked up of relationships. Which just goes to show that everybody, and I mean, EVERYBODY deserves the love and care and whips and torture of another.
Big Love (USA, 2006 - ). Oh man, oh man, oh man, polygamy has never been so entertaining. HBO does it again with a provocative, ridiculous, addictive series about a man and his wife…and his wife and his wife. Extreme Mormonism? Sign me up, Elder Bill Paxton!
The Piano Teacher (France/Austria, 2001). You know how I was just going on about Secretary? Well, take the fucked-upness of the aforementioned film, add strange French dialogue, scenes of unmitigated self-mutilation and the touching story of lonely lonely woman who finds painful love in her young pupil. Isabelle Huppert’s razor-sharp performance as La Pianiste is unforgettable. And I dare you to sit through one of the most disturbing love scenes in movie history without once wincing in disgust or despair. Basically, it’s hot.
Plata Quemada (Argentina/Uruguay, 2000) Plata Quemada is like the Argentine Bonnie & Clyde but with a less Hollywood get-up and some undeniably erotic man-on-man love. But before you go off and discount this film, cause you know, you think gay films are lame and weird, eventhough there’s nothing wrong with it, let me tell you that Burnt Money represents the best in Latin American filmmaking. It’s cool, it’s smooth, it goes down like a good whiskey. The true story of the bank-robbing lovers known as The Twins and the woman (and botched heist) that comes between them should be a serious addition to your movie queue.
2046 (China, 2004) Part Sci-fi, part Romance, and all damn good filmmaking, Kar Wai Wong’s lyrical, poetic story of a writer stuck between the past and the future will not only make you horny, but also satisfy your love-craving senses. Also, there are boobies. And who doesn’t love boobies.
Crazy Love (USA, 2007). Man meets woman, woman charms man, man seduces woman, woman dumps man, man throws lye in woman’s face blinding her permanently, woman marries man and they live happily ever after. One of my favorite films of 2007.
Mighty Aphrodite (USA, 1996) Ladies, would you ever jump into the sack with Woody Allen? Would you? Would you? Well, according to all of his films, only the sexiest, quirkiest women will. And in my personal Allen favorite the main subject is Mira Sorvino. Mighty Aphrodite is an ode to falling in and out of love in New York. And did I mention it’s funny as hell?
El Otro Lado de la Cama (Spain, 2002). How can I do a Love Film List without mentioning a European sex comedy. The Other Side of the Bed takes the very popular and thriving genre and turns it into a musical. And if you can sit through a number of witty, charming if sometimes weird songs, I promise you all a big payload in the form of tits, ass and a Paz Vega lesbian fantasy.
Unfaithful (USA, 2002) Diane Lane is THE HOTTEST MILF EVER. I promise.
Fatal Attraction (USA, 198). Three words, lust, revenge and bunny rabbit soup. Unholy shit, is this what happens when you cheat on your wife?
Ah, sigh! There you have it folks. No doubt about it, this movie guy is in love with love! Next week on I, Queue Genius there will be hate, there will be hatred, there will be hatingness, there will be blood. Bonjour, mes petits poissons!
Svet, no joke! That movie made me weepy. I felt sorry for the blind girl. Kid you not, kiddo.
February 14, 2008 at 11:31 amThanks for reminding me about Crazy Love–I wanted to see that. It’s now in the queue!
February 14, 2008 at 12:10 pmcrazy love is the best love film EVER. So disturbing.
I have netflixed Time, the latest Ki-Duk Kim flick, but haven’t gotten around watching it yet. It’s a story about a woman who undergoes plastic surgery and completly has her face changed to rewin the love of her boyfriend. Anyone seen it?
February 14, 2008 at 12:21 pmdude the piano teacher, i love that movie, one of my all time favorite female performances
February 14, 2008 at 1:10 pmand wong kar-wai always has the best music playing in the background…”california dreamin” in chungking express
February 14, 2008 at 1:13 pmI just thought “Audition” is another perfect date movie for Valentine’s …
February 14, 2008 at 1:23 pmjason offers more disheartening date fare here:
http://www.brightestyoungthings.com/movies/movie-marathon-for-lovers-a-love-letter/
February 14, 2008 at 1:28 pmthe piano teacher was far from ‘hot’… she was fucking mental. I’d not take any lessons from her, except ’stay away’.
February 15, 2008 at 3:52 pm
Haley and I saw “Crazy Love” on Thanksgiving while drinking margaritas at 11 am (before that we watched “License to Wed” with Mandy Moore and the hot dude from “The Office” which did nothing to prepare us for what was to come) and were blown away.
If someone made it up, you wouldn’t believe it, but since it happened, you have no choice.
THIS MOVIE IS SO GOOD IT HURTS. EVERYONE GO SEE IT NOW.
In other news, my favorite Wai-Wong is still “In the Mood for Love”
February 14, 2008 at 11:22 am