Note: This entire review was written as it always is: me, in front of my uber-stylish mac laptop, drinking coffee, biting the end of a pencil, and talking to myself in punny, pseudo-insightful voiceovers.
Ah, we finally know summer is upon is, because wave after wave of the BIG BUDGET SUPER EXPLOSION SPECTACULAR keeps pummeling us as we lay sunning on the shore; loud movies for loud times. Superheroes, action stars, and the occasional Adam Sandler debacle have become de rigueur for the time between Memorial Day and Labor Day.
And then there’s Sex and the City.
The big screen version of the TV show, set at a reported budget of $65 million, is essentially that: The TV show on the big screen. One wonders where the money went, because you certainly can’t see it on the screen. But the audience doesn’t want production values, they want to laugh, cry, and live vicariously through the lives of the four ridiculously professionally successful and ridiculously romantically challenged women on the show.
Although you can’t start a film with something so overt as a deep-voiced announcer saying: “previously on Sex and the City”, you CAN start the film with Carrie Bradshaw(Sarah Jessica Parker) recapping exactly what has happened in the four years since we last saw all the characters. It’s a good thing there wasn’t a show for those 4 years, because nothing much at all has happened to any of the characters. Carrie is still dating Big(Chris Noth) after his Big Romantic Gesture in Paris, Samantha(Kim Cattrell) is still overly horny and managing Smith(Jason Lewis) in LA, Charlotte(Kristen Davis) is in Wasp-y/Jew-y domestic bliss after adopting a baby, and Miranda(Cynthia Nixon) is still excelling at being a huge heartless bitch to her loving husband with the weird baby-talk voice, Steve(David Eigenburg).
In fact, everything is fine and dandy, and everyone is fine and dandy until Big and Carrie, in very business-like fashion, decide to get married. Then, as the pieces to her pre-wedding fall into place, Carrie just gets happier and happier. She finds the perfect apartment with the perfect closet, the perfect place to have the wedding, and she gets the perfect wedding dress which is gifted to her, by no less than Vivian Westwood after wearing it in no less than a Vogue photo shoot. If you have any experience with the show, as I do*, you are just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Nothing is perfect, and Big never fails to be a huge dick to Carrie.
*I have seen every single episode of this show, and against all better judgement, I do enjoy it.
The other story lines are about the same; Samantha & Miranda go through a crisis of some sort with their respective partners both having to do with lack of sex. Miranda’s being that she doesn’t ever want to have any; Samantha’s being the fact that she hasn’t had any strange dick in awhile. Charlotte’s big crisis? She can’t decide whether or not to keep running. Yeah, she gets short shrift in this edition.
The movie essentially plays out as a five or six episode arc of the show would. In fact, I was wishing we could hear the stupid theme song and see the opening tutu credits about every 25 minutes or so, just so the movie wouldn’t seem so disjointed and episodic. I suppose there’s really nothing different about watching a bunch of episodes on DVD, but it felt weird to me in the theater.
No matter, because I felt weird just walking in the theater, sitting in an audience that consisted of me, one other dude, and about 40 women. And, as I sat there, trying to figure out why the film did so well at the box office, and why women are drawn to this movie(the ticket sales have reportedly been 85% female) I realized something. Sex and the City, for a majority of American women, is a superhero movie. Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda ARE superheroes, but instead of carrying guns and dressing in body armor, they carry Louis Vuitton clutches, and wear Vera Wang cocktail dresses. They are the women men want to be with(in the film, at least), and the women women want to be. And you don’t EVER see that in a Big Budget Hollywood Summer Movie, where women are so often relegated to someone’s wise-cracking assistant, cold-hearted villain, or unattainably beautiful love interest.
So take note, Hollywood, the ladies of America have spoken. Now, I pray to Jeebus that we can get the rest of America to speak up and stop paying to see Adam Sandler movies.
My reaction: pretty good(3.5 out of 5)
Next week: speak of the devil: Adam Sandler still isn’t funny in You Don’t Mess With the Zohan. Til then, I’ve gotta get all this residual estrogen out of my body…Stay fabulous, kids.
btw, I was referring to the review, not the movie
June 3, 2008 at 1:08 pmNot your best work, Jason, but then again look what you had to work with.
I found this review pretty good (only posting part, anyone can google a sentence from it and find the rest):
“The soul of this movie is infected with gross materialism, the flaunting of me-me egos and the endless nurturing of the characters’ greed and/or sense of entitlement. It’s all about money to piss away and flashy things to wear and lush places where the the girls lunch and exchange dreary confessional chit-chat. And this, mind you, is where millions of middle-class women in every semi-developed country around the globe live in their dreams. They’re going to this movie right now in multitudes. Sad. Really sad. Because SATC is crap through and through.
A few items back I called Sex and the City a Taliban recruitment film. All I know is that I felt ashamed, sitting in a Paris movie theatre, that this film, right now, is portraying middle-class female American values, and that this somehow reflects upon the country that I love and care deeply about. It’s a kind of advertisement for the cultural shallowness that’s been spreading like the plague for years, and for what young American womanhood seems to be currently about — what it wants, cherishes, pines for. Not so much the realizing of intriguing ambitions or creative dreams as much as wallowing in consumption as the girls cackle and toss back Margaritas.”
What I find very highly ironic given how many women watched this show religiously every week is that it was written by a dude.
June 3, 2008 at 1:09 pm“and Big never fails to be a huge dick to Carrie.”
i get it.
June 3, 2008 at 1:13 pmlooks like you stole that superheroes bit from new york magazine…
June 3, 2008 at 1:20 pmSo what would you prefer? A film about a gang of witty girls whose lives revolve around discussing Kant, studying Portuguese, watching foreign films and smokin’ trees?????
(p.s. I know some birds like this on the realness. get at me for the hookup)
June 3, 2008 at 1:48 pmdid I steal the superhero bit? I don’t read other people’s reviews of movies I’m goign to be reviewing on purpose, and I certainly don’t read New York magazine. I’ll be sure to send royalties as quick as I can.
And michael - show written by a gay dude.
Look - I agree with the statment that SATC is shallow and revels in the self-centered entitlement of it’s characters. But it is a show and movie about 4 upper class broads in NYC talking about their relationships. I don’t know if the reviewer knows this, but people who talk about their relationships tend to be self-centered because they are talking ABOUT THEIR OWN RELATIONSHIPS. Sex and the City isn’t fucking Stop-Loss or Babel. Saying this movie is bad because it is materialistic and wallows in consumption is like saying that Iron Man is bad because it has a lot of explosions and cool weapons. It is what it is.
And at least the dialogue and situations are somewhat interesting. I find that the american public going to see Meet the Spartans in droves is WAY more of an indictment of our culture than people seeing this film.
see also:
http://www.brightestyoungthings.com/movies/number-one-with-a-bullet-meet-the-spartans/
June 3, 2008 at 1:49 pmBTW - I find it pretty amazing that NO girls have commented on this yet.
June 3, 2008 at 1:56 pm1. There’s really nothing that self centered about discussing ones relationships.
2. Once you get past the BS, spoiled rich girls can be a lot of fun to hang out with.
3. What is so terribly offensive about 4 girls who like good sex, really nice shoes, and stiff drinks? I mean lemme be real with y’all:
*Good sex is dope, right?
*Nice shoes? Some new dunks for the summer? Perhaps some boat shoes or thsoe new Timberland Chukkas for casual evening wear?
*These girls like Cosmos. I like a nice cold beer.
Think about it. Take a second.
June 3, 2008 at 2:17 pmoh the irony. 8 NW DC dudes online discussing 4 IMAGINARY chicks from NYC discussing their MADE UP relationships. I don’t know if this is Emo or what. It’s definitely something. They haven’t invented a name for it yet.
June 3, 2008 at 2:38 pmactually they have. It’s called being “Gaymo”.
and they aren’t imaginary Jeff, they are as real as you or I. Don’t shatter my delicately crafted delusion.
and I DON’T live in DC, thank you very much.
June 3, 2008 at 2:41 pmyou’re right, it is the equivalent to a super-hero flick for women.
i stated previously on the other post, that i loved this movie. it was awful, in the trashiest, best, sort of way. exactly what everyone expected. SURPRISE!
June 3, 2008 at 3:37 pmJay-jay:
What are you wearing? Purrr.
So maybe if it was a movie about four fictitious women in skinny cheap mondays, vests, something ironically neon, aa tanks/spandex with an a-trak or miami horror song as the opening track discussing coke instead of cocktails and then their failed/successful relationships with i don’t know fitsum, dakota fine, gavin, and nada then people wouldn’t be ashamed of loving such a self-centralized movie.
personally i loved it. and we all live in a world of consumption. unless you want to live up on a tree and recycle three pairs of shirts from a thrift store. just face it.
these women rule your life.
ps. patrick you are on the money. the concept is applicable but perhaps the context in which it is applied that is making people confused about how to represent their opinions about satc.
June 4, 2008 at 4:30 amthis is hilarious boys. keep it up. amen on the good sex, shoes, and stiff drinks comment. am i really going to talk about work when i’m hanging out with my girls? uh, no. books yes. boys yes. booze yes. boots yes. good times.
June 4, 2008 at 11:42 ami love the show (still…).
i loved the movie (and i really don’t care how shallow that makes me sound…you can’t watch bergman all the time. and i need to see it again so i can enjoy all the fun parts without worrying what was going to happen next…).
and i love this review (because i was really expecting something completely different, and appreciate your approach and perspective.)
there were actually a few men at the screening i went to on sunday. in fact, there was a 70-ish year old rabbi in full uniform sitting next to me, alone. i mean, i get that i live in brooklyn and all, but that was just strange.
and speaking of super heroes - you definitely need to check out the super heroes fashion exhibit at the met next time you are in nyc. it is definitely worth the $20 “suggested” donation.
June 4, 2008 at 1:30 pm
Dug.
June 3, 2008 at 1:08 pmBut seriously what;s yr problem with Adam sandler. That Zohan movie looks like it’ll be funny as shit.