Oh boy, another Will Smith Sci-Fi movie.
Film is a powerful medium. Not powerful like the kind of bleach Dog and Mrs. Dog the Bounty Hunter use to make their hair so amazingly beautiful, or the under-wiring of whatever cantilever bra system Mrs. Dog uses to hold up her midget-head sized mammary glands, but powerful nonetheless. Film is powerful because it has the ability to ask and answer the tough questions that pray on people’s minds all the time. What would happen if you had to choose between one of your children to be killed in the holocaust? What would happen if a billionaire offered you a million dollars to sleep with your wife? What would happen if the Wayans brothers tried to pass as white women? And now, this media of film, this business of show, asks and answers a question that has been praying on the minds of many a comic book reader since they were a young tyke:
What if superman was a drunken asshole?
Luckily for us, Hancock answers this question. Wait…did I say luckily? Well, lucky in same way that a surfer who gets attacked by a shark only loses ONE limb.
Hancock was produced by and stars The Fresh Prince as, well, Hancock, a (seemingly) homeless besotted bastard of a superhero. Hancock drunkenly flies about Los Angeles, taking pulls off a bottle of bourbon and saving the world from whatever nameless villains that are plaguing the city. Unfortunately, because he is fucking trashed all the time, he has a tendency to run into things. Things like buildings and freeways and airplanes and birds. And when an indestructible person runs into things, it tends to cause a little damage. Needless to say, the powers that be are none-too-happy about his antics.
So what does a very public figure in L.A. do when he has an image problem? He, however reluctantly, procures the services of Public Relations consultant Ray Embrey(Jason Bateman). Ray convinces Hancock he needs to go to jail to remedy his image, and Hancock does so. For whatever reason, who knows? And there you have act 1 of the film, which lasts for all of ten minutes.
Yes, Hancock is a movie that doesn’t meander. It gets to the point, however meaningless and ultimately vapid and unsatisfying that point might be. The action happens fast, anyone but the three main characters are just window dressing, and the plot points(including an EXTREMELY convenient third act twist) come rapidly one after the other as if they were metro riders trying to cram themselves on an overfilled train during rush hour. It feels like a movie that should be two hours long crammed into a short 90 minutes. But who would want to watch this dreck for two hours?
I don’t know what it says about me, but I pretty much just wanted to see Hancock as a drunken asshole the entire time, because at least that was funny. Were it not for that and Jason Bateman’s valiant effort in bringing some type of humor to the party, Hancock would be a totally lost cause.
And in a surprisingly good summer, quality-wise, for Hollywood blockbuster movies, Hancock winds up being that cute girl at a party full of Victoria’s Secret models. You may be interested in a different time and place, but right now you just want to chat up Gisele.
My reaction: Whatever (2 out of 5)
Next week: Well, it’s either fuckin’ Hellboy 2(!!!) or Meet Dave(frown). Til then, I’ll be acting exactly like Hancock, minus the flying and saving the world and being indestructible parts. Stay optimistic, kids!
Ed. Note: If you missed some of Jason’s earlier (and crucial) summer #1 movie reviews feast your eyes and comment muscles here:
+Wall-E
+Get Smart
+The Incredible Hulk
+Kung Fu Panda
+Sex and The City
+Indiana Jones
+Narnia:Prince Caspian
+Iron Man
and more, you just have to look for it.
i haven’t gone to see a will smith movie in theaters since Hitch, and that was only because a boy took me.
great picture. you should post more of these.
July 8, 2008 at 2:12 pmBummer. Eddie’s right — the concept of a diffident, surly, drunken superhero has a lot of potential. Similarly, I read this fascinating novella in middle school called “I am Legend”… the ending was particularly satisfying.
July 8, 2008 at 2:33 pmI forgot to put in the review the one joke that made me laugh until I cried, but only if you have a knowledge of prison slang from the 1950s.
Here’s what you need to know: the origin of the noun”punk” or the verb “to be punked” means that you went to jail, and were the prisoner who got anally raped by another inmate.
So, if you were “punked” that means someone fucked you up the arsehole. Which kind of changes the connotation of Mr. Demi Moore’s seminal MTV program.
ANYGAY, just remember that when Hancock is talking to the kid who is being bullied. It’s hilarious.
July 9, 2008 at 2:27 amLord Jason, you should read this review of Hancock: http://www.filmfreakcentral.net/screenreviews/hancock.htm
It offers a very interesting (and seemingly accurate) interpretation of the movie which would probably make you like it a little more. It proposes that Hancock’s powers and behavior serve as a metaphor for the racial issues and complications involving (for example) black athletes. here is a snippet: “…Hancock has the temerity to try to address the colour barrier in comics as it relates, uneasily, to these United States. Talking about it tells everything so beware the major spoiler, but Hancock has at its centre an indestructible, airborne, super-strong black man with a white wife who, should he spend too much time near her, renders him completely, utterly mortal and thus subject to the world that would see them apart.”
July 9, 2008 at 7:37 amyeah - I think that reviewer is looking WAYYYY too into the film. It reminds me of one of my film professors that tried to explain that Die Hard was all about calss sturggle and communism. Sure, it may be an interesting way to analyze the film, and certainly makes the reviewer seem smart, but, ultimately WHO FUCKING CARES? Even if the point he’s making IS true, it certainly doesn’t make the film any more enjoyable on any level.
It still is a a big Hollywood movie that runs long on concept and short on execution.
July 9, 2008 at 10:16 am
huh. previews looked ok. shame, because it looks like a funny concept.
July 8, 2008 at 1:24 pm