SPRING AWAKENING is coming to town! Be excited!
Broadway’s most talked-about new musical is now the biggest Tony Award winner in years. Spring Awakening is the groundbreaking fusion of morality, sexuality, and rock & roll that has awakened Broadway like no other musical of its time. Winner of a Grammy Award and eight Tony Awards including Best Musical, Spring Awakening celebrates the unforgettable journey from youth to adulthood with a power, a poignancy, and a passion you will never forget. We agree with the New York Times: “Broadway may never be the same again!”
THIS IS SURE TO be a HOT ticket BUT we have a pair of tickets to give away to the July 14th performance (premium house seats).
All we need from you to do is post a comment about a time when you were “totally fucked”.
We’ll let the winner know by Monday, July 6th.
Cool?
Note: Parental discretion is advised. Mature content, including brief partial nudity, sexual situations, and strong language.
All details here:
July 7-August 2, 2009
Kennedy Center Eisenhower Theater
Tickets at the Box Office or charge by phone (202) 467-4600
Online at kennedy-center.org
Groups call (202) 416-8400
TTY (202) 416-8524
Tue, Jul 7, 2009 7:30 PM
Wed, Jul 8, 2009 7:30 PM
Thu, Jul 9, 2009 7:30 PM
Offer subject to availability. Not valid in combination with any other offer. Not valid on previously purchased tickets. Offer may be withdrawn at any time. Service fees may apply.
Use the code ‘SPRING’
Mention offer code ‘SPRING’ to receive your discount at the Box Office or charge by phone (202) 467-4600, or enter code for online orders.
Direct link = kennedy-center.org/spring
I hosted small but amazingly fun sing-at -the-top-of- your-lungs/dance afterpartys on friday, saturday, and sunday nights this weekend. I woke up this morning (with 5 minutes to get to work) in what appeared to be a yellow cloud of space cheese with Skeeter Davis’s Angel of the Morning cranked to 11 and set on repeat.
Honestly, right now I feel pretty well fucked…
June 29, 2009 at 12:11 pmi was living in California from Aug 08 – May 09…
Prop 8… nuff said.
June 29, 2009 at 12:24 pmI was living in Buenos Aires. An ocean breeze came over me… It felt eerily similar to this time I was hiking the Appalachian Trail. Suddenly, the wind went away, and I felt the chief executive of a small Southern state inside of me. I was totally fucked.
June 29, 2009 at 12:33 pmI think my dad was disappointed when I DIDN’T have a huge house party while the ‘rents were out of town. How fucking lame do I look now??
June 29, 2009 at 1:57 pmi got married when i was 21 . . .
June 29, 2009 at 6:17 pmi moved in with a friend and his family and took the guest room. one very lonely night, i took a spin with my vibrator and forgot it under the covers the next day. my friend had some guests over that day so i told him i’d stay out all night and crash at a friends place. later he called to inform me that his guests were sleeping in the guest room… thats when i remembered my little secret and i tried to quickly come up with an elaborate story to convince him it would be a bad idea but before i could begin he and others in the room with him burst into laughter… i was totally fucked.
June 29, 2009 at 7:12 pmi walked out of my hut at a bush camp in africa to film a family of elephants. all of a sudden i realized i had walked between a large mother and her baby unknowingly as i was pre-occupied with looking through the camera. the mother charged me and i only made it back into the hut at the very last minute.
June 29, 2009 at 10:44 pmon a cross-country drive to california, my car ran out of gas in bumfuck, tennessee at 2 in the morning. i was pretty much sure an axe-murdering was in the cards.
June 30, 2009 at 11:36 amAll girls named Lucy are fat unintelligent Staten Island guidettes.
June 30, 2009 at 11:44 amOkay, so I was at a party, not drunk, and a really drunk girl came up to me and dragged me upstairs. Well, I don’t drink, and I felt horribly guilty about this, but she wouldn’t let me leave so I was like “Oh, whatever, I’m already here, blah blah blah.” Well, things got hot and serious and we started “going at it”. Right as we were “finishing” she smiled at me and threw up-all over me and the bed we were on. It was terrible. So I was cleaning up, when my girlfriend, not knowing she was at the party, came upstairs to that room-with another girl. And I didn’t see them until I walked out of the bathroom and saw her making out with the girl with no shirt on. It’s been real awkward ever since and I haven’t talked to either of the 3 girls since that night.
I was totally fucked.
June 30, 2009 at 12:12 pmall the (straight) guys in my town are boring, stupid, unattractive, annoying, uncultured, unartistic, disgusting douchebags.
I’ve yet to find a guy who’s remotely deserving of me.
I’m 16 and i’ve never been kissed or been asked out.
i’m totally fucked. (for two more years until I leave for college)
June 30, 2009 at 1:20 pmI was in college and drunkenly hooked up with my roommate’s friend, who was out of town. When I woke up the next morning and told my roommates what had happened, they informed me that the dude was married. Oops – wtf?
June 30, 2009 at 1:23 pmI was eating lunch yesterday and my dad told me I should have laser hair removal done to my whole face because I’m an Armenian girl and it’s about time. Thanks, dad. Thanks.
Mortifying.
June 30, 2009 at 1:32 pmI invested in a business 5 years ago, and till this day, it is unfortunately unable to get off the ground. Needless to say, I’m f**cked for investing over 100k of my own $$…. Hoping for better days to come, of course!
June 30, 2009 at 1:42 pmMy high school’s prom this year was on a boat. I was out for some fresh air on one of the decks when another boat with loud music blasting passes us in the other direction. Assuming it’s another prom boat, I cheer and start dancing crazily, trying to spread the good times vibe. They cheer back. As the boat pulls away, I see a bunch of men in their 30s and up on the back smoking cigars.
June 30, 2009 at 2:01 pmI was traveling abroad in South America with my boyfriend and feeling pretty good about how impressive my passport was looking with all of its stamps and visas. One morning in Buenos Airea, I decided to stop by the U.S. Embassy to have extra pages sewn into my passport since I was getting short on space. Afterwards, my boyfriend and I met up with a friend who goes to university in the city. He and our friend were conversing somewhat loudly in English on the crowded metro platform, drawing the attention of the people around us. As we moved to get onto the arriving metro train, I noticed a man slowly reaching into one of my boyfriend’s pockets. I quickly signaled my boyfriend’s attention, and the man got off the train at the next stop, luckily without my boyfriend’s wallet. As the metro doors closed, however, my boyfriend checked his other pants pocket– and found out that my beloved passport was gone! Turns out that the pickpocketer walked off the train with it.
Totally fucked!
June 30, 2009 at 2:16 pmmen in their 30’s? their 30’s?!?! wow you ‘re fucked.
also, your prom was on a boat? heads up BYT, some rich high school girl wants free tickets to something.
June 30, 2009 at 2:20 pmOne afternoon couple friends and I were at Starbucks enjoying our coffee/tea. As if being and unemployed college student wasn’t bad enough, I watched a student driver back into my car. When I ran after the car yelling “STOP EXCUSE ME STOP!!” the car proceeded to drive away. When I finally tracked down the car on the other side of the lot the teacher proceeded to tell me he didn’t feel a thing. After arguing for 10 minutes one of the girls in the car points out red paint(from my car) on the bumper of the driving school’s car. After showing my parents the scratches they both agreed its a waste of time to get my bumper fixed and pursue the matter. So now, my car has 2 dents from separate “hit and run” in parking lots and now scratches from a student driver.
my car and I are totally fucked
June 30, 2009 at 2:37 pmSeveral years ago, my parents were 100% against me dating anyone, but I did anyway. My boyfriend would call my cell phone from his house late at night so no one would know, and we’d talk for hours. Since we were living in Ukraine, calling from a landline to a cell phone was VERY expensive. A couple months after this had been going on, I was going to meet my boyfriend somewhere when I get a call from his house. I said hello and I hear his dad say, “Whose phone is this?” and before I realized what had happened, I told him it was me. When I hung up I realized that his dad had just gotten the phone bill (which I found out had amounted to $600) and called the number that all those calls were made to. My parents were told shortly after… what came after was TERRIBLE. i felt (and was) so TOTALLY FUCKED.
June 30, 2009 at 2:40 pmTime I was totally f-cked is when I found out I had cancer. Eekk, but I am so much better now and no longer totally f-cked and I can say that Spring Awakening helped me get through it with it’s strong messages & music.
June 30, 2009 at 2:51 pmI was backing out of the driveway of the people who I was babysitting for, and suddenly I heard a loud, shattering sound. I looked behind me, and my ENTIRE back window was GONE! turns out I somehow backed into the neighbors’ mailbox! No idea why my window shattered completely, because it’s higher up than the mailbox was. Needless to say, I was pretty terrified for a few seconds. I had to then call my dad and tell him what happened. Totally Fucked!
June 30, 2009 at 2:53 pmIt was Halloween during my freshman year in high school and I decided, even though I hadn’t felt well all day, I would go to a friend’s party since the boy I really liked was there. All was going well and I was chatting up the guy when a sudden wave of sickness hit me. Before I could move away, I threw up. On top of him. In front of a large group of people. Turns out, I had appendicitis and needed an emergency appendectomy the next day. I was most definitely and totally fucked.
June 30, 2009 at 3:17 pmWhen I graduated from college in 2007, my friends and I went to Ocean City Maryland for Beach Week, which constituted heavy drinking and lots of guys. We drank for 7 days straight, so by the final night of the trip, I was in rough shape. After our final bar trip, we decided to go to Denny’s for some late-night food. I ordered Moons Over My Hammy, and in my highly altered state, I literally passed out on top of my food. Instead of being concerned for my welfare, my friends just lifted me up and laid me back down, and proceeded to pass my food around the whole table for everyone else to eat. I still had to pay for the food I didn’t eat when I woke up. I’ve never lived it down.
June 30, 2009 at 3:30 pmOne year I was on vacation in Tampa, Fl and I arrive at my hotel only to find out that Warped Tour was being held there! So before I even get the chance to ask my parents if I can go, they so kindly (and very out of character-ly) tell me I can. They give me $60 for the ticket and merch and whatever but since I don’t have any pockets, I put the money in my sneaker. I head all the way through our hotel, down and up two different elevators, through the lobby, and outside where I just start to walk to the area the festivals being held. I check to make sure the money is still in my shoe… lets just say I was TOTALLY FUCKED. I had to turn right around and tell my very pissed off parents about it only after being out of the room for 5 minutes.
June 30, 2009 at 4:37 pmLast year I went through the exhausting process of finding a college. I had three on my top colleges list and the deciding factor was to be money. I went to Washington College for a weekend, trying for a Creative Writing scholarship. I knew after that weekend that I couldn’t see myself anywhere else. But it was the most expensive college on my list.
I applied for nearly every scholarship that came my way. I didn’t receive any of those scholarships. They all went to the same people each time. I learned later that I did receive some money from the school and I had gotten that Creative Writing Scholarship.
So now I am going to a roughly $44,000 college with less than half that offered to me in scholarships. And I can’t get a job thus far.
And to make it worse… I am an English Major focusing in Creative Writing.
I’ll be living in a box. I AM totally fucked.
June 30, 2009 at 5:20 pmI was recently running microphones for a play, and one of my responsibilities was to carry the mic packs down to the greenroom. My friend was also on crew, and I was talking to her as I was taking down the mic packs about another crew member who rides a unicycle to the theatre. I was telling her about all the stupid, mildly rude things my dad said when he saw the crew guy, like “Hey, when you see him, ask him where the rest of his bike is,” and stuff like that. Turns out, the guy was more or less right next to me the whole time.
FML.
this one time my friend and i thought it would be fun to go one a mini road trip to visit our friend at colege because my dad was on a trip for the weekend and left em with the acr. We went to a party and I ended up hooking up with this hot guy. I really proud of myself until two days later when I was home and sick with a virus. I had to drive to the airport to pick my dad up (althought it was probably not a good idea for me to drive cause i was so derlirious). I ended up going to the clinic to find out what was wrong and of course I had kickeys on my neck from the hookup and the doctor, while examning my throat for swelling starts to ask me where the bruises on my neck came from with my mom sitting right next to me. I had to come clean about the mini road trip and the hookup. it turns out i got strep throat and a virus for a guy who i will never speak to again.
June 30, 2009 at 6:05 pmI was in my school show (Footloose) this past november. Opening night, as I was attempting to walk down some bleachers on the stage during a number in cowboy boots, my heel got caught. I tumbled headfirst down the bleachers. Everyone onstage and in the audience saw and didn’t know what to do, but with some improv the scene kept going. I stood up and my friend put my vest and hat back on and I continued to dance and sing. I was extremely dizzy and disoriented I forgot all my lines and fumbled through my blocking. I walked off stage with a bleeding head and a lump the size of mount everest along with a crack rib and two sprained ankles. (not to mention a tremendous amount of large bruises.) I looked like I got ran over by a truck!. I was completely and totally fucked. I finished all four shows and even played two parts one night when one cast member got sick. At least my director was impressed!
June 30, 2009 at 9:58 pmIt’s silly and selfish — but the time that comes to mind most immediately, was last year … when the 1TB external harddrive that I used to hold my entire iTunes library of nearly 7,000 CDs … completely DIED. I lost everything … and my back-ups could only help replace small portions. The exact phrasing that came to mind at the time, was indeed, “I am totally fucked.” :(
July 1, 2009 at 11:22 amThis past year I had a truly terrible teacher for History. One day he was super pissed off for no apparent reason. The guy who sat next to me didn’t understand something, so the girl behind him was trying to explain it. Then my teacher yelled at the two of them for talking during class, weird because he wasn’t teaching us anything, just yelling. I couldn’t help but think “What is with him?” and apparently that showed on my face. He suddenly yelled at me “Have a problem with that, Robin?”
I’m not the type to talk back to my teacher, but I felt totally f******
Well, this past halloween, me and my friends decided to make our own halloween costumes. We began looking for stuff to make roman costumes on halloween. We got everything: sheets, gold jewelry, sandals, etc. On halloween night, we went to my friend’s house with all of our stuff and began getting ready… we didn’t realize until my whole costume fell apart and I flashed everyone at the party that we should’ve used safety pins instead of the trusty duct-tape to hold it together. I was totally fucked.
July 1, 2009 at 3:35 pmSo I was dating this girl one time but we hadn’t told anyone yet and it was a huge secret. Me, her and her best friend (who was a tad homophobic) all went camping. So one night me and her starting messing around and things got really hot. Come to find out her friend (who was sleeping right next to us) was still awake and hear every moment of it!!
July 1, 2009 at 4:45 pmThe Fall ‘08 semester of college I attended Rhode Island College and absolutely HATED the place. I thought I could survive in a city that wasn’t New York, but it was impossible. So, I decided to transfer. I couldn’t even wait a year. I applied to the City College of New York for the Spring ‘09 semester.
Good news: I was accepted! Finally, I was going to get out of that horrible school. I just had to take a math test and pass since I didn’t do so well on my SATs. Easy, right? I took it in a few minutes and spent the rest of the day in New York City. I got an invitation to the my orientation so I figured that everything was all set.
The day came that I was to go to orientation. My dad drove me into the City. On the way there I got a call from the school. More good news! I had finally gotten housing. It was going to be a great day! I get to the school and my dad goes to the financial aid office while I head to check in.
I get up to the desk and tell them my name. As they search the man behind the computer gets a concerned and confused look on his face. He looks up sadly and tells me that I can’t attend the school or register for classes because I failed the Math test. After all the careful planning I now was told I couldn’t go to the school of my dreams. Or any school other than a Community College (the thought of which brought me to tears) for that semester.
Well, needless to say, I was FUCKED.
July 1, 2009 at 5:22 pmAlright so i have a twin brother and we get a long pretty well. I mean we’re brothers so obviously we argue here and there but needless to say we get along.
So there was one friday night around 2 months ago when we both went to a party, but with a different group of friends. Little did i know that my twin bro had a secret girlfriend who he ahd been going out with for about 7.5 months at the time. So we’re at this party and this girl who was “gone” asked me to come up to a room and “talk” so i obliged…ya know me being a good person and finding her really attractive.
SO we get up to the room and she starts kissing me…out of no where and i was like ok until she said… “OK, we’ve been going out for 7.5. months, i think its time…” little did i know i was hooking up with my twin bros girlfriend who was “ready”
pretty sure at that moment i was FUCKED!
During one Spring Break, my theatre teacher took a small group of us to New York City. The trip in itself was pretty fun, but the final day, in which we were to fly home, took an unexpected turn. We packed all our suitcases (mine with souvenirs and an important American History review) the previous night and headed to a fun musical-theatre workshop in the morning. Unfortunately the class ran a little late, so we had to rush back to our hotel to meet the bus that was going to take us to the airport (in New Jersey). Luckily we made it back in time. The bus was to arrive at noon, but it was late. Our flight was at 2 O’ Clock, so we could afford this delay, but by 1, everyone was worried. Our luck seemed to turn when the doormen got us some transportation to the airport. We piled in, stuffing our luggage in every-which-way to fit, and headed to the airport. Cutting it close, we arrived at 1:40. Getting everything situated, we learn our flight has been cancelled. This put everyone in a stressed mood. After half an hour of waiting, the airline told us we could wait a day for the next flight to our city or take a flight leaving soon for a city that was 2 hours away from our destination. We chose to the latter option, but the plane was to leave at 2:30 and it was almost 2:20. We had to hassle through security and run to our gate to make the flight. Fortunately for us, they held the flight and we made it. Our seats were cramped, but I was just happy to be heading home. We arrived at the airport, discussing how everything was worked out fine. We spoke to soon: the airline lost my suitcase. What away to end Spring Break!
July 2, 2009 at 12:02 pmI had heard about Spring Awakening, but I didn’t hear the music…I missed that part of the Tony Awards…
Anyway, It was my first year of High School, and i was in the Fall Play of Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass. I was in the Green Room fooling around, and a senior’s ipod started playing ‘Totally F****d’. I was thinking, “Oh, my god. This song is the epitamy of AWSOME!!!” so a few of my castmates and I started moshing and headbanging to the song. When it came time for the “Blah Blah Blah” part, a stagecrew member entered the green room and shouted, “LIZ!! YOU MISSE YOUR CUE!! IT WAS 2 MINTUTES AGO!! WHAT’S YOUR PROBLEM??”
“There’s a moment you know, you’re fucked…” and that was it. XD
July 2, 2009 at 12:03 pmA few years ago I was writing a story with one of my friends. It focused on four characters who were leading two separate stories that eventually met and became one story. Like most stories, it couldn’t help but involve romance. And, from that romance, sex.
Well, my mother decided that she needed to search through the files on all the computers for something. I have no idea if she ever found that “something.” She did, however, find a rather detailed, steamy sex scene.
And she confronted me about it and whether or not I had written it.
Like Melchior would say, “There’s a moment you know you’re fucked.”
So to start of with, I’m terrible at being single. I revel in relationships and often push for them when I’m not ready. Consequently I’m a huge flirt. Back in December I was having some trouble with a guy who wouldn’t commit, so I decided to start a new conquest. While on a school trip to see the national tour of The Grinch musical, I began to flirt with this timid cute guy. He had an AC/DC shirt on so I approached him and started talking about the band. He was really cute in how shy he was and I was having fun talking to him, but I enjoyed the attention more than I wanted the relationship to go anywhere. He started to like me a little, and I agreed to go hang out in his room for awhile. We just hung out with some friends and watched a movie, and I met his roommates and his one roommates girlfriend, who seemed very nervous of the fact that I was there. So fast forward a few weeks and I agreed to go to my school’s winter dance with that boy.
The dance didnt go too well, I actually ended up going back home with the boy who had had trouble committing before him. Dick move, I know, but I really liked him and kind of wanted to use boy 2 to make him jealous.
I ended up ignoring him for awhile, as I usually do when I’m not sure how to handle a situation. When spring semester started I figured he’d be gone and I wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore. Boy was I wrong.
So beginning of spring semester I start to feel a little down. I decided to join Gospel Choir because I’ve always been into singing and it sounded like fun, but I was really nervous because I didn’t know anyone in it. I went to practice anyway. I didn’t realize how much the practice would move me, and I almost cried 5-10 times from excitement, no exaggeration. I was just so happy to finally find a place where I belonged.
Turns out I ended up knowing one of the kids in gospel choir, and we lived in the same building so he walked me home. We ended up talking on the way home and on the elevator he decided, hey I’m gonna come up with you cause we’re still in the middle of a conversation.
So we ended up talking for 4-5 hours, so long that by the end we called his roommate to come hang out because we knew he wouldn’t leave otherwise. About 3 hours into talking I realized how I knew him. He was boy 2 roommate. The one with the girlfriend.
To his credit, he tried nothing on me. We were absolutely just talking.
Well you know where this is going. Two-three weeks later I went to a basketball game with a friend of mine and we ran into him. My friend and I had been planning to go to a 21st birthday party for a friend of ours so I invited him to come along. He agreed. I told him his girlfriend could come along and, to be fair I secretly think I hoped she wouldn’t. So he told me about the accident she’d had earlier that day: she’d cut her hand and she was in the hospital getting stitches.
So he came to the party with us and we, guess what?, drank way more than we should have. I believe he had 4-5 cups of Jungle Juice (god knows what was in there) whereas I stuck to an excessive amount of beer. Throughout the night, our inhibitions fell and we began a debate (which I’m sure was hilarious if you were watching being that we were excessively drunk) as to whether hooking up would count as cheating because we were drunk. Of course we concluded that it would.
Around midnight we were walking home and we kept stopping to hug and then at on streetlight he just picked up my head and started kissing me. I later found out that my friend’s car passed us at the exact same time and she was about to honk but thought better of it. We kissed all the way home, all the while saying fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck while he assured me it had to be okay because this was as far as he went with his girlfriend.
We got home and he went to his room and I went to mine but not without stopping at my friend’s room to tell him what I had done and how horrible I felt about it. He, knowing I was superdrunk, escorted me back to my room.
The boy proceeded to come back upstairs and we hooked up (just kissing) on my bed and then he went back downstairs to go to bed.
I had to wake up the next morning for a 9am shift at work. It was Valentines Day and I had just hooked up with a boy who was a roommate of someone I had dated and who had a girlfriend. And just in case I wasn’t sure if I actually happened, his hat had fallen on the floor when we were hooking up and I had to returned to him.
Theres a moment you know….you’re fucked
‘
July 2, 2009 at 11:38 pmI was fooling around ( ;) ) with the ideas for a creative writing project. I texted my friend Adam which he thought would be better: sex on the beach or sex in the woods, since he was in my class and he would have understood. Unfortunately, he didn’t reply until later when my boyfriend was over. “Sex on the beach! Definately!!”
My boyfriend read it and an angry look came over his face…
And that’s when I knew:
I was fucked.
just because some of the people who go to my school are rich doesn’t mean I am. :) it’s a public school, our class worked really hard to raise a lot of money for prom.
July 3, 2009 at 3:22 amI jumped out of a plane and my parachute didn’t open. Enough said.
July 3, 2009 at 12:07 pmMy ringtone is “Totally Fucked” and I’m a nanny for a 6 month year old and a 15 month year old, so I usually put my phone on vibrate when I’m working. But one day, the 15 month year old decided to take my phone and play around with it. She played “Totally Fucked” about 10 times at different volumes, danced around with it, and giggled at the chorus. I thought it was cute…
Until she went up to her parents and began to babble-talk. It’s been 2 days and she still won’t stop saying “fucked”. To the point that her little sister is trying to say it now.
I’m “totally fucked”.
July 3, 2009 at 5:55 pmSo I’m 16 and had just gotten my license two days before this incident. In Maryland, it’s illegal to drive anyone else but family for the first 5 months after having your license. So, 2 days after I got mine, i went to go pick up some friends before a rehearsal for a show we were in. We decided to be “typical teens” and get high before we left. Then, we got in my car ad started driving…we were pretty high too. We had the windows down and the sunroof open. We were blasting the soundtrack to Spring Awakening. So, we’re running late to rehearsal so I decided to go through a neighborhood so I wouldn’t have to deal with traffic. I was coming up to the end of the neighborhood and was about a mile away from rehearsal, but 15 minutes late. So, “Totally Fucked” was currently playing. I get to a stop sign and casually roll trough it. Right after this, a cop comes around the bend. So I was just thinking like he wasn’t on the road when i rolled through so he couldn’t have seen me. I decided to turn down my music and stop screaming FUCK at the top of my lungs while waving around my middle finger; I also rolled up the windows and started being very cautious of my driving. I turn out of the neighborhood, and so does the cop, but I just though, well it’s a major road, many people take it, and went about a half a mile until I had to turn on the road of my rehearsal. As I turn, the cop throws on his lights and decides to pull me over right infront of my theatre…FUCK!!!! I was high, ran a stop sign, blasting profanity, and was driving two friends who were clearly not related cuz I’m very white and they’re very black, oh and i had only had my license for two days. So the cop comes up and i give him my license and registration(which i almost couldn’t find) as I’m sitting infront of the theatre with a cop behind me, my friend remembers that rehearsal was postpones a half hour, so EVERYONE in the show, and their parents happened to drive by the three of us. I then saw the cop comming back and thought, wow….
I’m “totally FUCKED”
(luckily he was a cool cop and just gave me a warning for the stop sing :/ … but for a good minute I thought for sure that I would be in jail that night)
July 4, 2009 at 1:41 amAs a senior in high school, I chose to take my required English credits online at a community college instead of at my high school so I could get both college and high school credit. I had been in contact with my high school counselor all year long and asked questions every step of the way to make sure I would be able to graduate and walk at my graduation. About a month before graduation, I get a letter from my counselor saying I had to have my English 102 grade in by a certain date. Well, the class didn’t even end until after that. I talked to my counselor and she said it would be okay if I had the grade in by the Monday after the class ended. She warned me that if I didn’t have the grade in by then I wouldn’t be able to walk at my graduation. So the class ended and I was constantly checking online for my posted grade all weekend long. Sunday night came, and still no grade. I even checked periotically Monday during the day on school computers, and nothing came up. Panicked, I went to my counselor. She told me she’d give me until the end of the next day to get my grade, but she stressed that it HAD to be in by then otherwise I wouldn’t be able to walk. Later in the day, I get a call from a classmate who was in the same English 102 class as me and who also went to my high school. She was in the same situation as I was, and told me that her grade was posted and that I should go check mine. When I did, still nothing. I went to the community college in an attempt to talk to my teacher face to face. I get there and the secretary tells me that she only works part time and is rarely in the office. I went to every possible person that could help me with my problem, but none of them could understand why only my grade wasn’t posted. At this point “Totally Fucked” was running through my head like mad. I was on the verge of tears all day thinking about all of my family coming down to my graduation for nothing. I was fucked.
July 4, 2009 at 1:46 pmI used to work as a personal assistant in LA. My boss went on vacation to Mexico, so I decided to fly to NYC for a few days to see some friends and family, but I didn’t tell my boss because he hated when I had anything resembling a life of my own. Needless to say, he texted me while I was at dinner with a bunch of people wanting me to schedule a bunch of work stuff. I was so fucked because I was supposed to be on Pacific time so it didn’t make sense for me to say I was at dinner. I called him back a little later and he completely flipped out on me for not immediately responding to his text. He never actually found out I was in NYC, though. I probably would’ve gotten fired if he knew where I really was.
July 4, 2009 at 3:13 pmA few years ago I was watching my little sisters because my mom was sick. I wasn’t really paying attention to my youngest sisiter who was only one or two at the time. All of a sudden I hear a crash from the dining room. My sister was sitting on a plastic container that collasped and she hit her head off of the baseboards. She had to have seven stitches in her forehead because I wasn’t watching her. I was pretty fucked- and pretty grounded. :(
July 5, 2009 at 2:25 amPreliminary results are in: Not a single one of these constitutes “totally fucked” (Pat’s comes closest). At best these are mundane stories by people who haven’t lived at all, I mean seriously, “totally fucked” because someone got a warning, or passed out on a table, or can’t find their grades? Shit even mine doesn’t count since I had a reserve.
Doesn’t anyone have stories of being caught banging their best friend’s mom, or spending a morning in jail when you have clients coming in from London for a presentation you have to give but you’ve just been arrested at 8 am for a felony? Christ.
July 5, 2009 at 3:39 pmBack in middle school, when we were supposedly to be so young and innocent. There was this girl I liked and I thought that she had similar feelings for me. We would exchange the occasional glances in the hallway, even a few during some classes. We even began talking a bit.
One day in class I saw her and a friend passing notes back and forth. She passed one note to her friend and her friend then passed the note to me… I opened the note and at that moment… I knew I was FUCKED. This girl did not like me at all. Or at least she had a funny way of showing it. It was not a love note, like I had been expecting. It was a death list with my name at the top.
“Hey, what have I done? You’re just a fly, the little guys they kill for fun!”
July 6, 2009 at 1:48 amTotally Fucked: a tale of a sunken friendship in verse form
To my dearest Veronica,
¿Do you know how to start a letter to a friend you have not spoken to
In a year and a half?
¿Would you like to write the introduction
For me?
Because you already know that this letter is for you.
Or, rather, this letter is for our friendship
That we could have counted almost in decades.
Broken by you dropping out of college, by your relationship to that boy (¿Man? ¿Guy? ¿Male? ¿Penis carrying member of society?), by your pregnancy to him, by your silence.
Silence.
Life at the beginning is so full of possibilities and interpretations, a joyous burst of notes (like dawn, the first note of a symphony). At the end of life, like at the end of the day, we are all tired and worn (a fugue that lasts a little too long or too many variations). Rather than play on, it is just best to be silent, enjoy the fifty measure rests. Silence is easy.
¿Is that why you couldn’t tell me you were pregnant?
(¿did you like the high school band reference about symphonies?)
¡What a voyage our friendship has been!
Our memories on the ship of friends, more precious than a jello mold.
(¿did you laugh at the joke about jello molds?)
¿Do you remember Salyers Elementary?
The building’s not there anymore.
Not even the large crayon mural.
But there are memories, ¿right?
Oh, and Twin Creeks Middle School.
Changing bodies, changing hormones,
Already then, the secrets.
But we were still friends.
And of course, high schoool.
Mr. Edenfield, Ms. Garcia and the days of marching.
Travis and Tim and Charlie and the days of dating.
Always, we were there, together.
Amigos para siempre.
Amics per sempre.
Now is the time to be candid(e).
After all, this is the best of all possible worlds.
I have so many questions
And less judgment than you would think.
My mom told me you were pregnant, then Angela, then Elizabeth, then Chey.
But never you.
Never you.
You.
Although, I have a feeling I know the answer,
Tell me how premarital sex plays into being a Catholic
And yet no condoms.
¡JODER! ¡HOSTIA! ¡COÑO!
I heard Angela talked to you about That Option.
That.
Option.
¿And where were the plum blossoms
so that we could hold onto them,
like Li-Ching Chao?
I got the wedding invitation.
Thank you.
It was so nice of you to send it through Facebook.
How very much I want to look at that boy’s face
and say:
!Me cago en tu madre, tu abuela, tu bisabuela, tus muertos, tu Diós¡
or simply,
¡Véte a la mierda!
But really, I’m saying that to myself,
For having not reached out to you.
For not giving you my heart.
You were not alone.
You are not alone.
There is a twinge of pain
Every time someone mentions
That they thought we would get married.
Even though we never dated
Even though it was Ryan all through high school
That I wanted so very much.
Oh, I never told you.
Huh, I could’ve sworn that…
Well, now is a good time as any.
I wish I could have told you about Allen
But most of all I wished I could have talked to you about Kyle
And what happened between us.
But I was thousands of miles of way by then,
Even if I had been next to you in Good Ol’ Spring.
Yes
it was definitely the silence that got us.
Totally Fucked.
Our friendship.
But we will not be.
But we will not be.
We will get through this.
You will get through this.
You will raise Lily with Travis, while he learns to be a train engineer and eventually you’ll go back to Aggieland and get your degree and become a vet, and both of you will raise Lily with all the love and support of friends and families and there will be bad days with screaming insults and there will be good days, great days in fact when you sit side by side and watch the sun set because the sun can set so beautifully in Spring like some Philip Glass opera and you two will remember this moment in time and Lily with a smile in her eyes and silver in her voice will climb into your laps and that is a life. That is a life.
We will get through this.
I will get through this.
I will find el príncipe azul and how tentative it will be, like exploring the skies one star at a time or the ocean one teaspoon at a time and by then I will have let my parents know my heartbeat and he and I will listen to Nick Drake and Cass Elliott and he will understand why I love the artist Dario Robleto so very much and we will carve out a place for ourselves and that will be a life. That will be a life.
We will look back and have a laugh,
Though perhaps not together.
You with Travis and I with my blue prince.
You will talk about that friend you had,
Who would go to church with you and your family
And how he never really dated anyone
(except that one time with Elizabeth)
and all the laughs you shared during karaoke.
And Travis will laugh saying, I remember because
We were all there, once, as friends.
I will talk about that one time I entered a contest,
On the surface to win a pair of tickets
But really as a way to finally write that letter
to finally meet a friend halfway.
And my blue prince will wonder if that
Was exploitive.
Maybe.
Yes, Tomorrow weeps for Yesterday.
Until then, we are totally fucked.
But there is nothing to fear.
It is already raining.
Today my husband just busted me for lying about a bill. We recieved a bill for $285, but I told him it was only $150. He found out and then I had to admit I lied.
July 6, 2009 at 11:11 amlast year at my cousins schools graduation which is now my school the principal was announcing the graduates and a kid that had already graduated ran across the stage in a giant blowup penis costume. he was totally fucked
hahaha
heres a picture of it
http://nicedeb.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/disruptive-penis.jpg
Ok so it’s 12:06 AM but I haven’t gone to sleep yet so this is really still July 6th.
Anyways so I applied to a good amount of schools and schools I applied to which were really good were Brown, Cornell, Penn, and Notre Dame. I got denied from the first three, the ivies. So I’m stuck with Notre Dame. Which wasn’t a bad thing at first, because I loved it when I visited. The only thing is that I’m atheist, but I can deal. It may just be awkward at times.
And then on the way home I was reading the Notre Dame paper. In it, it said that the Princeton Review rated it #1 school in the nation where “Alternative Lifestyle is Not an Alternative,” AKA, not gay-friendly.
I was a closeted gay. Going to Notre Dame.
Totally fucked!
July 7, 2009 at 12:09 amWas a winner chosen yet? …
July 9, 2009 at 5:25 pmnotifying the winner tomorrow AM
July 9, 2009 at 5:36 pmI fell in love with a guy, an beautiful sweet guy. He was my world my everything and he knew how I felt and he loved me back. And it was more than I could ever ask for. However there were complications. Ones that we hadn’t taken into account until it was too late to turn back. The first was that he was twenty and I was sixteen. I know this sounds like some teenage lust, but if you could see the look in my eyes when I saw him you would understand. We were happy for such a long time, but my parents found out his age and that he adn I were together and forbeyed me to see him. He and I kept in contact though my parents expressly forbid it, threatening all sorts of horrible things that I didnt even care about at the time. My parents caught he adn I together, I havent seen him in a year and I still love him more than words can say. I am totally fucked for another year before my parents can no longer control me.
September 19, 2009 at 10:27 pm
So I had hooked up with a girl who, at the time, was not at all the girl who I was dating. I e-mailed my friends the following morning recounting the tale of my indiscretion. I decided I would not tell the girlfriend about the girl friend because we’d be breaking up soon anyway, so why ruin a good thing, right?
Anyways, I was out at a bar one night a few days later and my girlfriend decided to go home. I had my backpack with me and I didn’t feel like carrying it around all night so I asked her to take it to her place and I’d get it later. Well, I get a text from her asking if she could check her e-mail on my computer, which was in the backpack, because her computer wasn’t working. I immediately got that “oh shit” sinking feeling because I knew I couldn’t say no. I OK’d the e-mail check. Not 10 minutes later did she call me back and “We need to talk NOW.”
I immediately called my roommate and repeatedly yelled, “I am so FUCKED!” as I walked the three blocks to my girlfriend’s place. I was, as I had hypothesized on the phone, totally fucked.
June 29, 2009 at 10:42 am