As you may already know by now, Saturday is our masquerade party @ House of Sweden.
All pertinent details to this night of lights and magic and (hopefully) David Bowie type stuffed tights can be found by clicking on this link:
click click
Tickets are ONLY available online and ahead of time (no sales at the door, 20 bucks gets you a free top shelf beverage ticket too) but we have a pair to give away to someone deserving, or, at least, to one of you.
Just leave us a comment telling us why you deserve them and we will let the winner know by Friday at 9am. Cool?
Previously in Misc/Awesome:
- 12/28: Terrible Boyfriend/ Girlfriend Generator.
- 12/1: The John Waters Advent Calendar-it starts today
- 11/28: It Chooses You: All I Want for Christmas is Everything from Miranda July's Pop-Up Shop
- 11/3: Things I'd Move to Minnesota For
- 9/6: PHOTOS: Maloof $$ Money Cup
- 9/2: PHOTOS: Chantilly Model Train Show
- 9/1: Libby's List: 5 Things I Want Right Now...
- 8/22: PHOTOS: Best Friends Day
- 8/10: PHOTOS: Lawn Mover Racing, Eastern Seaboard Regionals @ Bowles Farm
- 7/26: Special List: Things the BYGays Want Now That We Can Marry In DC (and NY!)
God loves a cheerful giver.
I look pretty awesome in tights.
When I was 10, I won an essay contest and, long story short, was to be given an award at a ceremony in Sweden. I missed the flight on account of my mother forgetting my passport and I never got to go. This is a pain I've carried for a long time. When I saw this contest for a chance to go to the Swedish Embassy, after all these years I saw a light at the end of the tunnel. Please make right what has been so wrong for so long. Send me to Sweden (or this, the next best thing.)
Thank you.
Once, when in Copenhagen, I met a chick from Stockholm. When I went straight to the point, she simply said ‘Ja’. So. We did it till we were unconscious and it was useless anymore. She didn’t want any relationship and all that. It must something to do with socialism. I liked her a lot.
Look, I’ve already decided that I’m going, but if I have to purchase tickets I won’t have money left over to buy a “green” costume.
Do you know what this means?
It means that me and my girl will have no other choice but to channel Adam and Eve and saunter through the doors au naturel, quite possibly the “greenest” costume there is. Now if you don’t want to see that (and I don’t know why the hell not), Svetlana, you have my email.
I was an extra in The Labyrinth. At least in my head.
Okay, Svet, give him the tickets. To Ryan, I mean. That Kyle seems a bit weird.
I deserve the tickets because I am food stamps and an unemployed professor and I do swanky rad stuff like sew pockets onto pink underwear and then wear them out to BIGGER SEX. Ask Joe L. about it. If I get the tickets, I will show up with someone and we will dress up like drag queen French Revolution assassinated monarchs except from the future where swine flu has gone sentient and causes people to have like serious prolapse on a regular basis so people are usually just shoveling blow up their butts to relieve the pain and i mean really, it's like a whole society based around hemrrhods.
GIVE ME THE TICKETS. I WILL BRING THE FABULOUS. <# <# <#<#<#<#<WRTHETHjerthqethwjtyeujmuyjhegsawrfgaetrwhjtyhergarthrthwteyjtyndfhbsrehwretyjemhd
My underwear is DIY awesome. This is why I deserve the tickets.
HOSTAGES HAVE BEEN TAKEN TO ENCOURAGE YOU TO MEET OUR DEMANDS
34 animals were seized by radical militant party kids in a brazen daylight heist at the National Zoo that has since turned into a hostage situation, police say. The militants were reportedly naked and drunk and snorting cocaine off elephants during the raid.
Calling themselves the Brokester Liberation Army, they sent news organizations several pictures of distressed Rhesus monkeys along with a statement that, although difficult to read from overuse of profanity and poor spelling and reeking of alcohol, claimed that all animals would be executed unless free tickets to a Saturday evening masquerade ball were immediately delivered to Legba Carrefour.
"We wilsdf totes kill this fucker if you don fukcing give us the god famn assfucking robot porning tickets you whore mongering fsdkrh eaters," read the statement. "We're totes serious. Give us the damn swag. Swearzies."
Mayor Adrian Fenty was quoted as saying, "Look, they'll sober up eventually and start making mistakes and then we'll get them."
"And seriously, who gives a fuck about monkeys. They didn't vote for me."
GIVE ME THE TICKETS! GOD DAMMIT
because if you give them to me, legba cant go.
DON'T STEP ON MY HUSTLE AJAY. YOU MIGHT BE FASTER THAN A CAT, BUT YOU BLEED THE SAME AS THIS MONKEY I'M GOING TO CUT.
haha disregard my earlier posts, I totes don't want to go this. Give the tickets to Dan Amitai because I'm awesome. I mean he's awesome. Sincerely, Legba.
Every time Dan posts on the internet, I will give him a butt-o-scopy.
i will go in a cat costume if i win. and my date will be dressed as a monkey. just to spite you. and to spite me too, apparently.
It was an endoscopy and btw he emailed me saying that it came back negative for Helicobacter. Your move buddy!
well, well, how do we solve this underwhelming erection right here? do you want me to take a look at it? maybe help you out? how about i... (takes off mask to reveal sh4mw0w) PUT SOME SILVER ON IT HAHA BLUE MONDAY NEW WORLD ORDER
Don't speak,
don't speak,
don't speak,
oh I know what you're thinking
And I don't need your reasons
I know you're good,
I know you're good,
I know you're real good
Oh, la la la la la la La la la la la la
Don't, Don't, uh-huh Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush
don't tell me tell me cause it hurts
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurts
Yeah, whatever buddy. Laugh it up. Good luck getting your ass-o-scopy fetish covered.
Bitch, I will beat you to death with a B-A-N-A-NA
Bitch, I will beat you to death with a B-A-N-A-NA
Bitch, I will beat you to death with a B-A-N-A-NA
Legba! Legba! He looks hot in pink underwear.
Dan how are you feeling today? do you need some extra help with that underwhelming morning wood you have there? how about i come a little closer, and try to medicate your problem? how about i get my hot little... (takes off mask to reveal SHAMWOW).. SILVER DROPLETS OUT AND CURE YOU HAHAHA - SHAMIBLU THE FLU, also can i have the tickets, thanks
This shit is bananas
If I show up (via Segway), I'll be sure to don a clusterfuck costume collage consisting of: 100 dollar bills, shamrock camouflage, the scalped turf of a golf course's putting surface, a shoulder sling of "Go!" colored traffic lights, frog-leather shoes , fingers studded with several emerald stones, an obligatory "whoooa I'm a pot-head" plastic marijuana leaf necklace, chlorophyll face-paint, leprechaun-print underwear, and several promotional copies of MacGuyver season 3 to doll out as confusing non sequiturs.
I call the outfit "Liberace Does Too Many Whippits And Thinks It's St. Patrick's Day"
I have spent time in Africa working on eco friendly projects. I am committed to making the Earth a cleaner place for all of us. I'd love to be able to be around people who think like I do. Plus the green masquerade idea is incredible!
my dong is B-A-N-A-NA-S
my dong is D-A-N-A-NA-S
my dong is D-A-N-A-M-ITAI
Hi, Legba here again. Blake I must say you sound like an awesome guy. I withdraw my ticket application, Svetlana please give this man the prize!!!
This is the rest of the world < Blake. Blake bakes in blakeface, bling bling im Blake Bass, I Blaze a Laze, from Bays to Lakes, Im Blake Blake
Haha, Blake sucks.
God dammit. Either you guys have failed to make the deadline OR my demands are simply being unmet.
THE STREETS WILL RUN RED WITH THE BLOOD OF THESE ANIMALS SO HELP ME.
and that shit ain't eco friendly
...
modelmayhem.com/1193494
give me the tickets and i will probably give them to legba so he doesn't go on a killing spree
and perhaps blackmail him into giving me his 2nd ticket
I think they hate us.
Oh well. POOR DEAD MONKEY/BEAR THING.