The D.C. United team blog, Behind The Badge, brings fans closer to the team and the players they love by posting pretty much everything about D.C. United, from behind the scenes video to birthing announcements.
And now:
In the ultimate act of fan appreciation, Behind the Badge is giving away 2 tickets for the June 29 match:
D.C. United vs LA Galaxy (David Beckham’s team)
All you have to do is write your best soccer haiku
. We’ll choose our favorite next week and the winner (and his/her plus one) will head to RFK Stadium!
i am on the ground
that guy hurt my fucking knee!
ok, i’m up now
throw the red flag, ref!
can’t you see i’m injured bad?
now watch me run fast
Zidanes headbutt, damn!
The most epic thing ever
Do it to Posh Spice
Fuck you Kenny. I was -this- close to winning.
June 12, 2008 at 1:15 pmLick the hand of god
Diego’s coke is now gone
Also lick the bag
except that you should have said, “zip, zip” instead of “zero, zero” to actually make yours a haiku. so really it’s fuck YOU and not kenny.
*disclaimer –
my haiku was for making fun of soccer players and their dramatics only, not to win tickets. i have no desire to sit in the heat and watch those little girls fall down and cry foul. imagine if hockey players were like that. there would be no game at all. richie, if you’re reading this, i’m not referring to you.
frosted tips, sass, smell
Beckham is the perfect male
looks too much like Cale
if anyone can tell me what song has someone in the background saying “fuck you kenny” as the song starts (even in the radio version – and it is still played on the radio) without googling it, then you win 3 free drinks of your choice on a saturday night at black cat.
June 12, 2008 at 1:52 pmFlop, kick, yellow card
net stands true on top the grass
billy goat header
Oh come on eddie
Not the Santeria Song
Same band though, pay up
nice. you bastard. it’s ‘what i got’, but you’re close enough. i hope your favorite is rail vodka with water.
June 12, 2008 at 2:57 pmwhat i meant was:
you bastard, you’re right
i hope you like rail vodka
see you at the cat
Sweet. Then over drinks
I’ll tell you whats really said
Think: Richard Pryor
Bend it like Beckham
The free kicks, not the movie
Much better looking
dancing on grass
soccer in warm weather,
much easier than winter
Beckham in DC?
Send 11 Queens packing.
Vamos United!
final score zero-one
spent two hours watching this shit
could have been sleeping
Jaime Moreno
With screaming fans behind him
Has just scored a goal
Martinez v Becks
Oy Mate! You’ve fractured my Leg!
Sidelined for season
The Barra Brava,
El Norte, Screaming Eagles
DC’s fans: The Best!
No look, back heel pass
Bicycle kick, sprawling save
The Beautiful Game
m l s sucks if
you are pretentious and just
like europeans
^^^ Winner.
June 12, 2008 at 10:44 pmBrought down in the box
Tension, deafening silence
Jaime’s kick is good
Disorients the defense
Glides ’round the goalie
It’s in the net!
Fierce forty-yard strike
Salt Lake is in delirium . . .
Not the same Becks?
5, 7, 5, jackasses
June 13, 2008 at 12:08 amIn my greatest dream
This summer we are victors
Another trophy
You can’t stop us Becks
United will destroy you
We bleed Black and Red
Gallardo passing
Emilio in the box
GOAL! EMILIO!
Becks is oh so fine
I wish I could make him mine
His skills are divine
A thunderous roar.
The season is still alive
2 – nil United.
The last whistle blew
But the sweat keeps pouring off
The United fans.
Two pairs of panties
For Beckham and Landycakes
Both pink and frilly
One game on one field
Contested by twenty-two
And watched by the world
A Quaranta Goal!
The Eastern Conference Final
Redemption Complete
I sent some of these haikus to a friend, and this is his poem.
Here comes the striker;
goalie’s asleep in the sun.
Too hot for his team.
Becks, Rodeo Drive
Shops for frilly pink panties
For Posh? No, Landon
As the keeper weeps
And the suits flush with ire
He kisses the badge
LA plays DC
On Sunday at RFK
Aired on ABC
Welcome to Our House
DC wins, so leave the three
Points on your way out
On twenty-nine June
Jerseys sell and women swoon
Beckham is coming soon
Let’s jump up and down
And all sing “Send in the Clowns”
‘Cause LA’s in town
The beautiful game
Is much more than just a game
It is the world’s game
First, we beat LA
Next, we win Super Liga
Then, MLS Cup
Numma twenny-free
‘e dun mean nuffin’ ta me
My quid’s on DC
Home crowd excited
Beer flies, smoke bombs ignited
‘DC United!’
Soccer is my life
Kickette is my site but I
chose DC players
Tom:Emilio!
Emilio!he scores
You can’t disagree
Does Beckham have heart?
Passion like Ben and the guys
Watch,see for yourself
Our Brit versus theirs
Stratford and DC or Becks
United will prevail
Black and Red at home
In the stands are screaming fans
Cheering on their team
A red and black eagle
kicking ball soars
it goes out of this world
Kick, kick, kick, kick, kick
June 12, 2008 at 12:12 pmkick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick
kick, end, tie, zero zero