As a useful service to you I have collected the most interesting online reviews of Figure Skating performances from the Olympics all in one place. You are welcome.

Pitchfork

Kim Yu-Na - Gold Medal
Feburary 25th 2010
South Korea
Pairing Sonja Henie's fascist droning with Dick Button's 60s flying camel-spin rave-ups, this multi-revolution abstract mashup of toe-twizzlers and half- rather than dub-steps would have made sense in 1996, but in 2010 this performance instead smells like the most formulaic genre exercise since Ina Bauer invented the Ina Bauer. Despite a technical-element versus program-combined scoring disparity that recalls the sudden shift in TV coverage to women's singles after the introduction of the short program, she never rose above a second rate post-Dorothy Hammill '77 except without the Peggy Fleming/Vonetta Flowers vehicular assault cross-pollinated tie-in angst. Maybe she would have looked more marketable if she'd posed nude like Katarina Witt did in 1988 in Playboy Magazine©? Meanwhile, Daisuke Takahashi still doesn't even have a gold medal. Travesty.
Grade of execution: 2.5 Stars

Vice Magazine

Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir -- O Canaduh

2010 Vancouver Ice Dancing Short Program

by Ace Porchmonkey

Remember that time Tonya Harding cracked Nancy Kerrigans knee with a hammer? That bitch was crazy! I did a fuckton of meth the night this shit was on tv so i kept seeing spurts of blood come off the skaters. Plus my buddy Gold Toof kept trying to get me to go to this graffiti party in Queens so we could huff paint out of a Nike and fuck two hairy Japanese models he went to Choate with...that shit made it hard to pay attention but in general they are from Canada so fuck yeah they burned and shredded my face plus they trained in Detroit so, motors, and like factory grunge felching. DO.

Brooklyn Vegan

I LOVE RACHAEL FLATT!

Rachael Flatt is from America. She is nice and good. She got a faaaaancy shoes this times! I saw her jumping. She made a little jump and THEN she made a BIG ONE. Her dress went around and around but you didn't see her privates because it was a special dress for jumping. My brother said she has a fat nose like a pig and then he made a sound like a pig, but he is stupid and reads stupid comic books so he is just jealous because she got her braces off. I think she is a Princess because she came from California where all the Princesses come from but my daddy won't let me wear any of the makeup she sells (MAC cosmetics new line available 3/14 check sidebar for more details*) because I am too young and also I am a boy. GO RACHAEL FLATT IM SORRY YOU DIDNT WIN A MEDAL!

HIPSTER RUNOFF

Men's Singles: Free Skating 2/16

entry-level altgay j.weird did his 'thing,' post-ironic cabaret voltaire 'lady' gaga and still came in 6th place in the men's singles?

does this make him more or less 'authentik' than the winners?

does the non-ironic steve perry haircut of evgeni plushenko make him deserve to win the dance-off or whatever or did evan lysaceks jason mraz southern CAL bro-scrag and gel give him pushup-points with the zeitgeist?

are you a gay meme or a bro meme when you dance to single ladies on utoob? is anyone even watching the 'lympics or listening to me? plez some1 send help im trapped inside a tweetfactory!!11wonelevnses