The Injuns Get Their Revenge on Whitey (& Take Everyone Else Out, Too)

September 10, 2008 by Michael  Send to a Friend

And by Injuns I mean Indians, and by Indians I mean Mayans and I don’t care if they are or are not Indians, they look like Indians and that’s what Christopher Columbus called them so there. Besides, they’re all dead.

So I’m reading the other day in the Daily Mail about Evans the Atom, or, Dr. Lyn Evans, the dude who is responsible for the LHC and who will be the guy who flicks the switch on the thing (contrary to popular belief they aren’t going to start colliding anything. First they are going to make the streams run one way, then the other, then, hopefully by the end of the year, they’ll start smashing shit together), and they interview some other scientists who fervently believe the LHC is a Harbinger of Doom (insert Holtz’ Mars from his Planets here, or something else, maybe Orff’s O Fortuna) and will destroy the earth.

One scientist in particular, Professor Otto Rossler, a retired chemist, seems to know exactly how it’s going to happen:

“‘Nothing will happen for at least four years,’ [Rossler] said. ‘Then someone will spot a light ray coming out of the Indian Ocean during the night and no one will be able to explain it…..’A few weeks later, we will see a similar beam of particles coming out of the soil on the other side of the planet. Then we will know there is a little quasar inside the planet.’…..as the spinning-top-like quasar devoured the world from within, the two jets emanating from it would grow and catastrophes such as earthquakes and tsunamis would occur at the points they emerged from the Earth.”

Now I don’t know why it will take 4 years for the quasar to mature, but I ain’t no science dude, either.

But that got me thinking about 4 years from now and it being 2012. And THAT number stuck in my head for some reason and I was unable to shake it out so I fired up Google and got to searching.

2012 is the year in which the ancient Mayans predicted the world would end, or, more factually, it was the end of their “long count” calendar and of a 5,126-year era.

Different kooks have speculated on what’s going to happen. Some have said it will be a catastrophe, other spiritual dorks have said we’ll all suddenly get along (seems he knows little about the Maya).

Other coincidences? “On the winter solstice in 2012, the sun will be aligned with the center of the Milky Way for the first time in about 26,000 years.”

So it seems the Mayan not only predicted when the world would end, but probably predicted the LHC would be responsible for it as well. I really don’t have anything to back that up, but you can’t prove me wrong.

Don’t believe me yet? Evans the Atom’s name is Dr. Lyn Evans. In the article on the Mayan calendar, Lynn Garrett, religion editor of Publishers Weekly is quoted. Lynn/Lyn? Garrett/Garrett (me, the guy who tied this together)?

So you’ve got, at best, 4 years from the date of the first LHC collision until the world ends. Do something cool - have an orgy, jump out of a plane, steal a Ferrari. Just do something.

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