Good morning and happy Monday, everyone! I hope your weekend was restful and kazoo-tastic! Without further ado, more internet inanity:

• Woodstock attendees were too high to notice the music sucked.

• Facebook will soon own entirety of internet, your drunk photos.

• WHAT, WHAT IS IT?!?!?! YES, I CAN HEAR YOU!!!

• I could see how Dylan’s singing could be interpreted as someone under extreme duress.

• Texas public schools required to teach Bible.

• While we’re on the subject of religion, who would win in a fight: raptor Jesus or raptor Edward?

• The mathematician who came up with this helpful formula must have been a demon in the sack.

• Shocker: Scottish junkies who inspired Trainspotting are dying fast.

• Do you think DC metro will ever have art this cool? Yeah, me neither.

• Want more philosophy? Fuck yeah!

• Slayer takes out the trash.

• 144 ways the world could end. They forgot about Soylent Green.

• Ok that last link was a little morbid, so here’s a little kid parallel parking: