….where we rip off the best of the internet and present it to you as a precious gift-post, topped with a bow we bought pre-tied from CVS and attached with an adhesive strip, ready to go and be consumed with your first coffee/tea/quickie of the day. Voila! Morning magic! On rotation

We are all about appearances today.
Thank you Michael for the tips.

• Man Almost Loses Penis WHILE (dry) Humping Steel Bench. A photo speaks a thousand words quite literally:

• Open forums can be tricky

• A kid sends us a note to our tips@brightestyoungthings.com address, tells us he loves us, we should spend less time self-indulgently meandering and play more music and sends us a link to this as something we may be interested in. And, I guess we kind of are. True story.

• The 6 Raunchiest, Most Depraved Sex Acts (From the Bible)

• When I first moved to DC there was that sort of creepy vending machine on my corner of 18th street where you could buy anything from diapers to sandwiches. Wish there was more of those in your life? WISH NO MORE.

• In the 90s we had coastal rap wars (right?) in the 2000s, we have east vs. west coast hipster wars. Get ready to rumble.

• Speaking of wars: the Shiloh vs. Suri battle IS ON!

• And a perfect pre-weekend video. If you’re gonna get predatorial, do it with a sense of humor.