Brightest Young Things

Many of you may have sat outside of the Rock & Roll Hotel all night waiting to see Rattler's Xmas X-travaganza show, only to be left cold and dead sober with ice luge tear tracks frozen on your pathetic face.

WHAT HAPPENED you ask?

Rattler decided to change the date of Xmas to February 6th, just because they felt like it.

Santa, you better update your iCal...
Here is an awesome video/gift guide they made for the occasion

Check out this adorable child:

And now Rattler's gift guide:

Dear DC,

Christmas is a very special time. A time to see old freinds and family while partying your dick off. The following items are perfect gifts for any member of Rattler. Please feel free to bring them to our show on December 19th at Rock N Roll.

Love,
Rattler

1. Shotgun Champ

"Just look at how awesome these fucking hicks are getting. I need this shit"

2. Alcohol Squirt Gun
(source)

"Sometimes Jager doesn't get into my body fast enough. So some fucking genius has made a gun to get me drunk at the speed of a bullet. Would also come in handy for shooting into chicks mouths at a distance so I wouldn't have to talk to them as much"

3. Beer Holding shirt

(source)

"When I'm not holding a hot pair of titties in my hands, i'm usually holding some beers. Sometimes I need an extra place to store my beer. An ideal holiday gift for any member of Rattler"

4. Cell Phone Flask

"Sometimes we have to sit in on meetings with boring record executive dorks.  They don't really like it when we drink in the meetings.. I don't think they would notice if I was getting drunk with my phone though"

5. Budweiser Car

"This car just looks awesome. I'd like to drive it around for a night or 2 before I get destroyed on its gasoline and wrap it around a telephone pole."

6. Bongzilla (with Slut attached)

This shit looks rad, and it seems like it could be used as a life supprt system if I ever sobered up"

7. The Golden Girls The Complete First Season 3 dics DVD

"This show rules. And Blance Devereaux was an awesome old slut. I think i got so fucked up at the last show we played I went home with Bea Arthur"

8. Jager Hand Pump (with slut)

check it out here

"I dont know what the fuck this is but this girl looks like she is giving Jager a sweet hammy."

9.Knuckle Cork Screw

"At our next wine tasting we can appriciate the terroir of Peidmonte and beat the shit out of nerds"

"Sometimes we meet some triflin ass bitches who's mouths I don't want on my beer bong. So they get the dick bong. Plus Every Chick needs one of these. You can get hammered while practicing blowies"

11, Cocaine.

"Is always awesome no matter what the season"

DON'T FORGET.

Previously in Misc/Awesome:

• 12/28: Terrible Boyfriend/ Girlfriend Generator.
• 12/1: The John Waters Advent Calendar-it starts today
• 11/28: It Chooses You: All I Want for Christmas is Everything from Miranda July's Pop-Up Shop
• 11/3: Things I'd Move to Minnesota For
• 9/6: PHOTOS: Maloof $$ Money Cup
• 9/2: PHOTOS: Chantilly Model Train Show
• 9/1: Libby's List: 5 Things I Want Right Now...
• 8/22: PHOTOS: Best Friends Day
• 8/10: PHOTOS: Lawn Mover Racing, Eastern Seaboard Regionals @ Bowles Farm
• 7/26: Special List: Things the BYGays Want Now That We Can Marry In DC (and NY!)