It's the Holiday season! And you know what that means.......
Creepy bosses and older men hitting on you at Holiday Parties (re: Jason Bond Pratt).
While this can be problematic and awkward (read: families, marriages, middle-aged insecurities, power/control games) here is a list of some older men whose sexual advances we would gladly entertain at our company holiday party held probably at Cafe Milano.
Alec Baldwin
Why: because he's a pompous bloviator with impeccable comic timing.
Steve Martin
Why: because he's a genius: the jerk! blazing saddles! Three Amigos! LA Story! Parenthood! His Banjo playing! his novellas!
Mick Jagger
Why: because of his stamina.
Larry David
Why: because we're masochists.
Vladimir Putin
Why: because he's a Judo master.
Willem Dafoe
Why: because he is and will forever be the hottest Jesus Christ ever.
Benicio Del Toro
Why: because of those eyebrows.
David Duchovny
Why: because he's an Ivy League educated former vegetarian sex addict.
James Spader
Why: because of that smirk- and the fact that he's been a yoga instructor, truck driver, stable boy, and railroad-car loader.
Rahm Emanuel
Why: because he'll slit your enemies' throats with the grace of a ballerina.
Sully Sullenberger
Why: because he's good at going down- ZING!
Brian Williams
Why: because of Britunes- the man either manages to somehow stay up on the latest indie rock bands or has incredible tastes in interns.
Bill Clinton
Why: because it's Bill Clinton
Sam Neil
Why: Jurassic Park.
Previously in Misc/Awesome:
- 12/28: Terrible Boyfriend/ Girlfriend Generator.
- 12/1: The John Waters Advent Calendar-it starts today
- 11/28: It Chooses You: All I Want for Christmas is Everything from Miranda July's Pop-Up Shop
- 11/3: Things I'd Move to Minnesota For
- 9/6: PHOTOS: Maloof $$ Money Cup
- 9/2: PHOTOS: Chantilly Model Train Show
- 9/1: Libby's List: 5 Things I Want Right Now...
- 8/22: PHOTOS: Best Friends Day
- 8/10: PHOTOS: Lawn Mover Racing, Eastern Seaboard Regionals @ Bowles Farm
- 7/26: Special List: Things the BYGays Want Now That We Can Marry In DC (and NY!)
God loves a cheerful giver.
Libby,
As a heterosexual male, I'm outraged Clive Owen did not make this list.
the absence of kevin costner from this list hurts my heart.
No Wilford Brimley? You know you want to ride the 'stache.
As a heterosexual male all I can say is that Sam Neil rules and Dirty Rotten Scoundrels is my fav Steve Martin movie.
Libby - also disappointed that reason re: Steve Martin wasn't "Roxanne." You know why...
I love you for not putting Alan Rickman on this list.
I should have mentioned Sam Neil is also awesome because of the "Merlin" mini-series.
And I love the fact that most of the comments thus far are from guys.
John Slattery.
Honestly I can't even say all the cruel, horrible, unusual things I would do to the rest of humanity just to have John take me out for drinks... Jail and/or public execution would be totally worth it.
srsly,
"the devil's water ain't so sweet,
you don't have to drink right now,
but you can dip your feet. . .
every once
in a little while."
Steve Martin wasn't in Blazing Saddles, but he was in Three Amigos.
Navin- you're so right. ugh hate myself.
No Alan Thicke? You dropped the ball Libby.
How can you deny this:
Jeff Goldblum! I wonder if he's still with that 21 year old? Mmmm, get out of the way, girl.
major oversight: jim lehrer.
where is bill murray? he is my #1 old man crush, and he just got a divorce last year. the day that i run into him i will ask him on a date.
Christopher Walken. Great dancer. Slow talker.
what about good old george?
clooney is hawt!
ANDERSON COOPER
I would like to pay one miljon dollars to kiss Sam Neil! If I had one miljon dollars!
What a teririble good looking men is this!
I am an asian women and I find out he is already married with an asian women. To bad! for me, but it means he likes asian women.