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Haiku Contest Winner!

June 27, 2007 by Cale

Ok, that’s enough, time to announce a winner.

In case you haven’t heard, we were offering Virgin Fest tickets for writing a DC Haiku:

http://www.brightestyoungthings.com/live-dc/virgin-fest-dc-haiku-contest/
(be sure to check out the comments)

Thanx to everyone who entered, if we could award you all Virgin Fest tickets we would. Well not all of you, some of the haikus sucked balls. I stripped the contact info and gave all the Haikus to our esteemed judges and it was determined that our winner Micah sucked no balls. He sent us seven, count em, seven gems (with titles to boot). Enjoy:

the royal women of georgetown:
daddy has twelve yachts.
we eat lunch with emperors.
barf. rinse. lipstick. weeeeeeeee.

k street lawyers at lunchtime:
spas and subshops cut
long lines of coke and loafers
sweat, snort, burp. charming.

haley’s comet:
svetlana’s lens snaps
haley’s comet, tail on fire,
with free Sparks til dawn

a dedication to the pedigreed men of MCCXXIII:
“my dad built dc!”
“my piss forms reflecting pools!”
(she turns and vomits.)

morning memorial:
white skin on wet sheets
your morning memorial
but who’s that tourist!?

a bloated history:
so many fat pats,
jumbo slice of history…
he said what? nuh-uhhh!?

and his extra comment haiku helped too:
cale dares dc sun
with pink fur boots and boa
man as rabbit’s foot

Congrats Micah!
But there were plenty others we dug, read on:

Cathy:
Stars and stripes, Gap bags
Tourists spying on fake life
Downtown ain’t DC

Ed:
D.C. is the best
We have lots of monuments
See also: douchebags

Amy:
split city, half-smokes;
the district halfway broke my
half-baked, hardcore heart

L.A.:
If you can’t love us
Try our big marble phallus
Below the Beltway

Rachel:
“people-watcher”
to: black cat. sid and
nancy called and asked for their
movie extras back.

Alan:
Hot District summers
Melting all the bright young things
Hot dance floor puddles

Libby:
Hot summer swelters
Cold, cheap beer brings sweet relief
Damn D.C. interns

Laura:
DC: not only
politics, fancy Dicks, but
hidden treasures too

Ashleigh:
The Metro: Farragut West (A Haiku)
The seats smell like pee.
The man to my left proclaims;
“I am so bad ass.”

Ben:
Diagonal streets
planned by French elephant guy
tiny parks between

Michelle:
sweet diverse dc
yuppies with ipods walk by
homeless sleep outside

Kenya:
Chances are we’ll die
Swamp littered with dollar signs
Engulfing their lie

Justin:
Possibly the worst Haiku ever created.
OMG, DC,
Politicians are the suck,
Free Tibet, free Tix

Samii:
D.C I miss you
City of Booze, Babes, Brunch and
The Mall to look Smart

Theresa:
Beltway and Metro
So much confounding traffic
I hate my commute

Shelby:
fourteenth and fairmont
walking with joy and gladness
egg hits face, damn kids

Kyle:
Homage to Old Man George
You watchful Eye of Sauron
Yeah, I have seen it.

Todd:
Pimps up ho’s down.
So let them eat cake
B-more stank nasty crab cake
Mmm Galileo’s.

Micaela:
Sustainable fish
And he’s quite the stud-kateer
I heart Barton Seaver

Anik:
Take the Red Line down
You know why I love DC?
Its not Silver Spring!

Christian:
Petals fall swiftly
On polished memorials
Cemetary full

Brandon:
Eight fifteen and V
hip and lame bands play every day,
go for the nachos

Sam:
Living in shit town
Yes, DC rhymes with feces
Hipster Babylon

Christian:
Review, Lord Jayson!
Your words both teach and molest.
Edusexual.

Honorable mention goes to Jeff for his limerick:

There once was a scene in Northwest.
I could walk to the Cat, t’was the best.
Along came Rock Hotel.
$18 cab rides? Go to hell.
Designated driver you say? You must jest.

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