Brightest Young Things

Last night's "Gossip Girl" episode was kind of a bummer.
There - I said it.
I stumbled home after a rather epic BYT meeting (did we mention we're having a party next Tuesday? OK) and was all amped/excited/impatient to see what the world of 50 year old 17 year olds had in store for me this week, so much so that I stayed up till 1am to watch this sorry mess on DVR.
And then write about it.

And it was kind of a let down.
Mostly because everything that you knew would happen actually DID happen.
Last week we left off with Dan holding a horrible secret about him and Serena sharing a half sibling, Rufus and Lily jetted off to Boston in search of their long lost offspring and Chuck and Blair and Chuck's uncle Jack were all propped neatly in their little corners of soon to be a love/sex/feathered brow triangle.

This week brought more of the same: Dan was still holding onto his secret (poorly), Rufus and Lily were begging for the identity of their secret, and Chuck inherited the majority of Bass Industries and was about to have a nice romantic dinner with Blair and then... Jack would have none of it.

Have we all noticed by now that all guest characters on GG are basically the devil's spawn? Georgina? That gay kid Jenny dated? That horrible mouse of Aaron Rose? The evil model vixen that almost ruined Jenny's life? YEAH-ALL EVIL.

So, Jack (played by someone who in real life is amazingly named Desmond Harrington) had no choice. As Jessica Rabbit would say "I can't help it, I was drawn this way"

So he set a devious "Chuck destruction" plan in motion which involved underage Russian and Asian hookers and lots of limo rides and champagne and a hungover, half naked Chuck exposed "oh so incidentally" the next morning to both Blair and the board members (there was some kind of a brunch going on, as these people prefer their drama in the mornings).

During the same brunch, the Benetton ad mean girls (after "putting a hit on Dan's head") informed everyone via text message that Dan and Serena and (the freshly rooted again) Jenny and Erik (who had their own pathetic subplot line involving fag/hag jealousy, which needs to die) have a brother in common and then everyone stood around kind of awkwardly for a while, but then they overcame, because they remembered that both in Russian classic literature AND IN "CLUELESS" half siblings dated and ALL WAS OK, if a little skeevy at the beginning.

In the meantime, in Boston, Rufus and Lily frolicked naked and worried in hotel rooms and finally met with the adoptive Father of their child (I wanted to type "Baby daddy" here so bad, SOSOSOSOO BAD-you have NO idea) who informed them that "Andrew died in a sailing accident last summer. But he was a happy boy" and then after they walked away his wife appeared and it turns out that "Andrew" is still alive but that their other son died and they are "not ready to lose another".

OOOOO-K.

Also, Chuck tried to apologize to Blair, it did not work, Serena, Dan & the Roots twins had PB&Js and somewhere, in a deep, dark dungeon he calls home Jack Bass was celebrating the fact that he is now in charge of all things Bass while Chuck plotted both his revenge and the tie that would go best with it.

Though frankly, it was all a bit of a yaaaaaaawn (and not just because I am very, very tired) and the previews implied that some silly subplot involving a new teached will show up, and frankly, I am not sure if I care.
Sure, I will watch it, but my heart may not be in it.

Previously in Misc/Awesome:

• 12/28: Terrible Boyfriend/ Girlfriend Generator.
• 12/1: The John Waters Advent Calendar-it starts today
• 11/28: It Chooses You: All I Want for Christmas is Everything from Miranda July's Pop-Up Shop
• 11/3: Things I'd Move to Minnesota For
• 9/6: PHOTOS: Maloof $$ Money Cup
• 9/2: PHOTOS: Chantilly Model Train Show
• 9/1: Libby's List: 5 Things I Want Right Now...
• 8/22: PHOTOS: Best Friends Day
• 8/10: PHOTOS: Lawn Mover Racing, Eastern Seaboard Regionals @ Bowles Farm
• 7/26: Special List: Things the BYGays Want Now That We Can Marry In DC (and NY!)