You read the article last week, you went to the block party, you spent your Sunday at 930 klub celebrating it, you overdosed on chili cheese fries last week, what could you possibly be missing to round out the celebrations for Ben’s 50th anniversary?
The book, dammit. (out now on arcadia publishing)
We have 5 to give away (not that you should not buy this slice of history yourself) and to win what you have to do is tell us your favorite Ben’s chili bowl story in the comments.
We will let the winners know by Wednesday sometime.
GO.
So in winter of 1999 or something after a really big snowstorm (remember when we had those in DC?) my then girlfriend and I would walk from Mt. Pleasant to Ben’s on Friday nights for date night (there really was nothing to do in DC then other than movies).
On this particular night we’re standing in line at the Industrial Bank getting money from the ATM (Ben’s only took cash then). Suddenly we’re pelted with snowballs from across the street. A group of kids, maybe 5 or 6 of them, are having great fun throwing snowballs at anyone on this side of the street (remember in 1999 there was nothing on U st that far south and little north of it, either, as the Ellington was a parking lot, there was no Starbucks, etc). I, being the gentleman that I am, cover her and slip and slide up to Ben’s and inside. Snowballs hit the window. Staff is cursing that they’ve been doing that all night.
Just then an elderly couple walk in and snowballs come flying in the door.
Fuck it. I go outside and walk halfway across the street. They start laughing and pointing. I reach down and grab some snow out of the street (we used to have really BIG snow storms and DC didn’t clear streets at all if they could help it) and make my own snowball. They take off running. I turn my back and a couple of them run back and pelt me with one or two with a couple others hitting the cars parked nearby.
I turn around and side-arm this iceball I’ve got in my hand right as my feet go flying out from underneath me, as I land on the ground and grunt I see the snowball catch one of the kids right in the side of the face, knocking him to the ground.
His friends laugh like crazy as I get back up. I stand there. They yell “Truce bitch! Truce!” and I just laugh. Not a snowball came flying after me.
When I get back to Ben’s our dinner was on the house. So yes, someone other than Bill Cosby has eaten for free.
August 25, 2008 at 3:16 pmMichael, I really enjoyed that story.
August 25, 2008 at 3:27 pmwhoa. 1999 was nearly 10 years ago…
August 25, 2008 at 4:05 pmI loved that snowstorm. I wasn’t as heroic as you, Michael, so I flung ice balls at my brother.
August 25, 2008 at 4:21 pmmichael wins.
August 25, 2008 at 5:02 pmWe often used to go to Ben’s afterwork. Unfortunately, I can’t really remember most of those times.
I do remember going with some coworkers one night in the fall of 98 or 99. It was Howard’s homecoming weekend, so the whole neighborhood was far busier than i would ever be able to put up with these days.
Anyways, as soon as we got in and put in our order i excused myself to go out for a smoke. No sooner had i lit up when all of a sudden something like a hundred people come flying out of some club or bar that was next to Ben’s at the time.
Evidently there had been a stabbing or something and the whole place just erupted. The cops showed up pretty quickly, but they were having a hell of a time trying to subdue everyone. Meanwhile, i turn around to find that the guys from Ben’s had turned off their “OPEN” sign and locked the door.
So there i was drunkenly watching as this chaos unfolds around me. Eventually one of my coworkers was able to convince an employee that the one white kid in the middle of this mayhem wasn’t involved and that guy unlocked the door and pulled me inside.
So i guess it all ended okay.
Also, i was once featured on the now defunct website WatchMeEatAHotDog.com enjoying a chili halfsmoke. You can see it archived here.
http://web.archive.org/web/20050813081032/http://www.watchmeeatahotdog.com/
August 25, 2008 at 5:02 pmI don’t think it was as much heroism as it was stupidity, kind of like when I followed a guy who had stolen a roommate’s scooter into the housing project on 11th St (yes, the one across from Cardozo High where they throw rocks at cyclists). It took me a second to realize I was in a cul de sac surrounded by unfriendlies. Long story short it was recovered with the aid of the po-po.
At any rate they were trying to have fun, although it was a bit misguided their lack of situational awareness with regards to targets (like old people). We ended up laughing and they were gone when I came out.
Am still glad I at least got in one good face shot - it helped soothe the pain of having to sit in Ben’s in date clothes that were soaked with filthy road slush.
August 25, 2008 at 5:08 pmway back in ‘99 i walked to ben’s uphill in the snow both ways. and i liked it! crazy kids and their starbucks milkshakes.
August 25, 2008 at 5:19 pmUnfortunately all my Ben’s stories are boring (usually ending with me eating a slice of strawberry cake to hold down my two chilismokes.) I do remember having to lie about where I was eating some nights to my Mom in the 80s as it was a different world down there then. Anyhew - this is in honor of Michael’s story and is ineligible for the book:
I am home from college with my roommate driving my 78 LeMans (cooler than it sounds - well… maybe not) and on the way to my parents a barrage of snow/ice balls come pounding off my windshield and hood. Only as we are nearly out of sight does my roomie spy the little heads popping up from a tree line just past a small grassy field. We just looked at each other and didn’t say another word.
We took a long loop back around until 15 minutes later we were driving the same street at roughly 40 mph in the slush. As soon as we saw the first glimmer of a snowball coming from the left I lurched the car over the curb and went careening through the field with my high beams on bouncing up and down through the snow until we stopped right in front of the trees.
The three fifth graders had totally shit their pants and just stood there - likely dazed by the mad man revving towards them and praying that the trees would stop my sedan. We jumped out and only as the first icy smash of our snowballs began to hit them did they snap to and run off screaming. We must have gotten in 3-4 on each of them chasing after before letting them go home to some cocoa and clean underwear.
The only time I can remember feeling as satisfied with my actions was the last time I slid a Ben’s doggie down my gullet! Yummy! (See - I can pull it all together. It’s almost like I am a real writer!)
August 25, 2008 at 6:29 pmno real story, i suppose. but 3 a.m. post-concert veggie chili + pirate jokes. lots of pirate jokes.
August 26, 2008 at 2:29 pmSeriously people? There are three stories here. There are 5 copies of the book. The next two stories that have anything to do with Ben’s (you ate there and took a huge dump in your pants, there was a pube in your wiener, someone didn’t flush and you could smell it while you ate and then you vomited and so did the person next to you then everyone did, or ANYTHING) win a free fucking coffee table book. Or a Christmas gift for someone.
Shit fuck, send me some key words and I’ll write your goddamed story.
40,000 different readers and none of you have a damned story about the most famous hot-dog spot in DC?
August 27, 2008 at 12:48 pmi’m usually too… tired, let’s say, to remember my ben’s experiences, but one night i had all the people in line and most of the staff singing along to rapper’s delite and it was good fun, i tell you.
that’s all i got, but it was better than michael singing morrissey at sticky rice last night.
but michael, what if, at your urging, something like 15 more people decide to contribute a story ’bout Ben’s. There goes my book. :(
I’m pretty sure there are too many commas in that sentence. I wish i knew how to write. (i also wish i didn’t know how to make emoticons)
August 27, 2008 at 1:07 pmYour jealousy doesn’t make you a good liar. I got free shots and desserts after I got off stage - why do you think I disappeared upstairs for about 20 minutes? They thought you sucked and didn’t want to make you feel bad by not offering you any.
See? I’m a dick. I wasn’t going to tell you that but you had to go on with the insults.
August 27, 2008 at 1:09 pmchad - if it were up to me yours would be a shoo-in if only for the picture of you stuffing your face with a cock, er, weiner, er, hot dog.
August 27, 2008 at 1:10 pmlol
August 27, 2008 at 1:39 pmWhere’s my damn book?
August 28, 2008 at 1:56 pmso, since i haven’t heard otherwise, should i assume i’m not getting a book?
August 29, 2008 at 12:06 pmwhen should i come pick up my book?
August 29, 2008 at 12:12 pmbooks will be mailed to people by the publisher.
as soon as the publisher and i figure out what the best way to do so it, people will be notified.
One time, When I was at Ben’s Chili Bowl, my friend Jeff had just found out I’d slept with his ex-girlfriend. So right after we finished eating, when we were outside, he sucker punched me. I just stood there and then asked him, “Did that make you feel better?” He said, “Well, the food was good.” I asked, “Do you want another smack at me?” He said, ” I’m good.”
I think that’s how the story went.
August 25, 2008 at 3:13 pm