BYT’s love for all things DIY has been well documented.
Rompers, shoes, bags, records…if you made it, we loved it.
But why just stop at utilitarian, consumerist products?
And more importantly, why HAVE LHC HAVE ALL THE FUN?
Everyone should have their very own black hole if they want to, not only if they have a doctorate in Applied Physics and a budget of several trillion dollars.
(though if you do, the CERN LHC manual IS, naturally available online, and can be found right here, weighing in at a neat 1556 pages, which come to think of it, is not all that much. Wasn’t “Infinite Jest” longer?)
That kind of classist approach to black holes just won’t do.

Thankfully for you, during our “ALL-LHC-ALL-THE-TIME” day today we stumbled upon this handy manual entitled:
Let’s build a hole: The science of DIY black holes
First, you should know that in principle, making a black hole is easy (that’s what we like to hear-ed.) Basically, the only thing you need to do is to slam two tiny, subatomic particles together in a particle accelerator. If you use enough force, the collision should yield a tiny black hole. (to find out what a black hole actually is, read our previous post -ed).
Until recently, most scientists believed creating baby black holes couldn’t be done on our planet. Well, poop on them. You would need a particle accelerator as big as the solar system, most scientists assumed. But nowadays, that’s all changed. Quite a lot of physicists think a much smaller particle accelerator can do the trick, too. Such as the ‘Large Hadron Collider’ (LHC), a particle smasher to be opened in Switzerland TODAY.
Luckily, a man-made black hole won’t be a roaring monster that gobbles up planets and stars. (luckily?-ed) Rather, science expects an incredibly tiny baby black hole, much smaller than an atom. What’s more, it should evaporate immediately. Black holes give off radiation. And our black hole would be so incredibly small and hot, it would radiate itself away in less than 0,00000000000000000000000001 seconds! That’s why physicists feel pretty confident about working with the LHC. No problem if a black hole shows up. According to the laws of physics, black holes from the lab just shouldn’t be stable.
BUT. There is always a small possibility that the predictions are wrong. Particle accelerators are there to break new ground — to explore new physics. And the physics science is about to explore, is really new and exotic. Nobody has ever seen a mini black hole. In fact, no one has even the faintest idea how gravity works on very small objects.
So, it’s TODAY, and science switches on its LHC. According to some calculations, this super particle accelerator could summon up one black hole every second! There they are: black hole, black hole, black hole; Pop! Pop! Pop! Now suppose that against all expectations, these baby black holes aren’t the fleeting, unstable mini monsters we expect them to be. Suppose they’re stable.
At first, no one would notice. They wouldn’t eat up the lab or something. Instead, they would escape. One by one, the baby black holes would leak away from the lab, going through concrete walls as if they didn’t exist. If you’re that small, traveling through solid objects is no problem: you just rarely bump into a molecule.
And then? Slowly, our refugee black holes would begin to sink towards the center of the Earth, attracted by gravity. And there, they would sit and wait.
But sooner or later, a hole will indeed bump into an obstacle. An electron, or an atom’s nucleus — tiny stuff like that. The black hole will swallow whatever it encounters. This will make it heavier. It will have more gravity, and pull in some more particles. It will get heavier still. And suck in more and more matter.
Eventually, the black holes will merge. They will suck up the Earth’s core, the mantle, and finally — the entire planet.
Gladly, it could take a baby black hole thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of years to mature. That should give us some time to learn more about them. But the bad news is that even in the distant future, there isn’t much we can do. You cannot find or catch a black hole that is so small you cannot even see it, and that hides deep within the molten iron core of the planet. The only option is to evacuate the planet, if we happen to discover the predictions were wrong.

So, should we leave?
Well, that’s hard to say. As far as we know, everything should be okay. Our world is constantly being bombarded by tiny, high energy particles from outer space. This should also create mini black holes, high up in the atmosphere: up to one hundred each year. And as far as we know, these black holes are indeed unstable. For the last 4.5 billion of years, our planet didn’t die.
On the other hand: in physics, quite often, a totally unexpected, new phenomenon pops up. In recent years, physicists lifted their eyebrows over dark energy, the Pioneer anomaly, the missing of the Higgs boson, the pentaquark and the suspected drift of the fundamental constants. No, we’re not going to explain all that — but the bottom line is this: physicists are constantly being surprised by weird new stuff that wasn’t in the theories yet.
Now, you don’t want to be such a surprise to be a black hole that has our planet for breakfast!
And then there’s this. In march 2005, scientists working on the Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider in Upton, New York created a fireball that indeed looked awfully much much like a black hole.
It was unstable. In fact, it wasn’t even a real black hole. Or so the scientists involved say. Perhaps the first man-made black hole is on its way to the center of the planet already!
With, possibly, Peter Frampton in tow:
wheeeeeeeee.


does this remind anyone else of all the cartoons where Bugs or Daffy, or whoever would escape by the use of a black hole/spot. they’d put it on the wall and step through.
i’ll try and find a clip, i’m not explaining this very well.
September 10, 2008 at 1:38 pm