Brightest Young Things

Day 1: Downtown Disney
Day 2 Part II: Epcot
Day 3: Magic Kingdom

For my birthday this year my girlfriend Amy took me on a surprise whirlwind trip to Walt Disney World. There is something about being in Disney World that, for lack of a less obvious word, is magical. This is a trip I think everyone needs to do if you a) haven't been or b) haven't been in many years. a) was the case for Amy, and b) was the case for me. Growing up with relatives in Orlando certainly had its perks. What I offer you below is an account of my Disney adventure that I hope will aide you in planning yours.

Look for cheap package deals at:
http://wdwinfo.com/

And here is a good guide on the best time to go to Disney:
http://travelwithkids.about.com/cs/disneyworld/a/whenvisitwdw.htm

And one more:
http://www.wdisneyw.co.uk/when.html

Sunday Part 1

Today we have a theme park ticket ($79 base) with the park hopper option (+$52), this means you can travel between the four parks as you wish throughout the day.  Buying multi-day tickets will save you money.  Here is a run down of the options:

The Magic Kingdom: This is what people think of when they think of Disney World. It opened in 1971 and contained many elements of, but now overshadows, the California park Disney Land, which opened in 1955. It is the most visited theme park in the world. It has the iconic Cinderella’s Castle, Space Mountain, and Pirates of the Caribbean.  In 1987 a team of MIT undergrads verified scientifically the claim that it is the "Most Magical Place on Earth".  In early 2000, faced with manpower shortages, Disney updated their employee code to now allow neatly trimmed mustaches.

Epcot: Originally Walt Disney had a grand vision for a planned community, or an Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow, which was the origin of the Epcot name. This 20,000 resident manufactured utopia would have monorails and no poverty. Walt passed away before his vision was ever realized and the remnants of this possibly kooky, but maybe brilliant, idea became the second Disney World theme park, opening in 1984. It was a curious mix of Future World, a byzantine array of pavilions showcasing emerging technology including the now iconic giant “golf ball”, and the World Showcase pavilion, a ring of country themed attractions, restaurants and shops.

Disney’s Hollywood Studios: Opened in 1989, formerly known as Disney MGM Studios. This is a theme park with movie based attractions similar to Universal Studios.

Animal Kingdom: The latest Disney park opened in 1998. It’s sort of like Sea World but with safari animals. It is accredited by the Association of Zoos and Aquariums, which means they have met certain standards in education, conservation and research.  Disney went to great length in their initial marketing to distance the park from the concept of a zoo, and for the most part they were justified in this assertion.

There are also a couple water parks if you're down with swimming around in other people's bodily fluids and/or Dermatitis.

This is a short trip so we decide on Animal Kingdom in the morning, Epcot in the evening, and then Magic Kingdom on Monday with our non park hopper ticket, skipping Disney’s Hollywood studios this time around.

We take the free bus to Animal Kingdom, again, this is a huge plus for staying at the Downtown Disney hotels.  Disney also has theme resorts with free transportation to the parks but these are overpriced, so the chain hotels are the way to go.  At the ticket counter I get a button that says it’s my birthday. Apparently all this gets me is happy birthday wishes from the cast. Everyone that works at Disney, including bespectacled pimply face teenagers dolling out ice cream sandwiches, are referred to as “cast members”. They are also required to be super nice and friendly. At times this is disturbing because inside they are full of angst and resentment, and it shows.

Anyway, we proceed through The Oasis Exhibit which is a series of natural animal habitats that you have to walk through before getting to the main area of the park. The animals here aren’t very interesting and it’s best to speed through.

from left to right: tree of life, amy's hair

You soon cross a bridge and are greeted with the majestic site of the The Tree of Life, this 145-foot artificial plant engineered from a refitted oil platform looks like something from Lord of the Rings. 325 animals are carved into it giving it a wonderful psychedelic aura.  Similar to Cinderella’s castle in the Magic Kingdom it doesn’t actually do anything or house much, it’s just there to be iconic and cool.

I pulled up Disney’s mobile site, http://m.disneyworld.com/, which is fantastic.  It's fast and easy to use and lets you search for attractions based on crowd levels, which poor kids from the 80s would kill for.  Luckily at this point in the day, and this time of year, everything was pretty wide open. We first headed to It's Tough to be a Bug! a 3D movie starring the Bug’s Life characters. The theater uses the 4D concept pioneered by Captain EO (read my Captain EO piece here) where they have actual real atmospheric events happen to the audience that corresponds with the 3D film.  I don't want to give away too much, but it is one of the most effective 4D attractions around.  Recommended.

Next up we made a quick stop to DINOSAUR, a thrill ride based on Disney’s long forgotten hybrid CGI/live action film of the same name. Amy, extremely prone to motion sickness, opts out of this one after reading the description, so I had to go it alone. It ended up being genuinely scary, as you’re jolted around on a fast moving time machine in a very dark environment as animatronic dinos lunge out at you and scream in your face. Pretty fun.

Throughout the park there are various real live animal exhibits, mostly part of “trails” based on certain themes or geographical locations. These are all worth exploring, but your mileage, as with a zoo, can vary based on time of day and what critters are active. Obviously I was most excited by the monkey trails, be sure not to miss Habitat Habit! which houses the most endangered primates in the world: the cotton-top tamarins, and then there is this large tree fort near the Yak and Yeti which houses some cool black and white monkeys who fearlessly leaped from tree to tree. At one point they all got together and hugged and I lost my shit.

The Maharajah Jungle Trek included some beautiful tigers, but they weren’t too active this time around. There were also some giant fruit bats that totally freaked us out. These things were massive, and you viewed them through these wooden bars that were big enough for a) you to stick your head through and b) them to swoop down and claw your eyes out.

Next we headed to Flights of Wonder, according to my map it was some sort of bird show. I was expecting a high level of cheesiness to insue when after a few minutes this  comic relief/fake tour guide interrupted the host, but this guy was great. He was like this old gay man with impeccable comic timing talking about crazy times in the 70s. Disney seems have made a conscious effort in the last few years to up the quality of the comedy in their attractions. I think they’ve been inspired by Brad Bird and the Pixar crew to entertain the parents first. The show was well done, focusing on natural bird behavior and not silly stunts like riding mini bicycles. Also, these hosts were no dilettanti, but actual researchers at the park with an authentic interest in conservation.  I know I sound like Cartman talking about jakovasaurs, but seriously, that bird show dude was so funny you guys.

Oh, so all the Disney parks now feature a great new time saving feature called fast pass. How it works is you go to the attraction and get a ticket that gives you a 1 hour time slot to return. It basically waits in line for you as you go off and play somewhere else, then when you return at the designated time slot you get to hop into the fast pass line which is dramatically shorter. As always, waiting in line is the suckiest and most dreaded activity when visiting any amusement park and this new technology is a godsend when it’s crowded. Also some attractions now have single-rider lines, which obviously benefited me since Amy get’s queasy on an escalator.  I used this single rider line for the new roller coaster Expedition Everest. Disney thrill rides are notorious for being tame, but often make up for it in creativity. This one was no exception. Highly recommended.

not my chubby thumb or unkept nails

We had a pretty crappy lunch, but don’t miss out on the frozen banana stand, although the kid working it wasn’t as charming as George Michael.

We made our way to the Kilimanjaro Safari, where you board an over sized jeep and are taken through a large manufactured, but authentic, African landscape. Our guide was yet another flamboyant hilarious gay man, but this time black.  He pretty much sang in a soulful falsetto the whole tour, did some improv, and made fun of the staged pre-recorded radio messages warning of us poachers. I guess Disney just needed to hire more gay dudes to make their attractions better. The ride is fantastic as you get very up close and personal with giraffes, rhinos, hippos, lions, and elephants. Often times these animals are very near to the jeep and only a few are cleverly separated from the trail by hidden moats.

We exited and took a quick stroll through the Pangani Forest Exploration Trail where we came to the highlight of the entire trip, a gorilla mom and her newborn baby. The baby was too young to even walk, but clung to the mothers leg as she walked around. These animals are just a few DNA strands away from us, can learn sign language, have complex family structures, use tools, and display a startling range of emotions. Yet that have no more rights than a squirrel and are slaughtered for no good reason.  Seeing this touching interaction between a mother and her baby can change your perception of what it means to be human.

There was still more to see, I would highly recommend spending an entire day at Animal Kingdom, but we had to head to Epcot...

Day 1: Downtown Disney
Day 2 Part II: Epcot
Day 3: Magic Kingdom

Previously in Misc/Awesome:

• 4/19: HAPPY National High Five Day!
• 4/17: Hangin' Tough with The D.C. Rollergirls
• 2/24: BYT Archives: Geek It Out
• 12/28: Terrible Boyfriend/ Girlfriend Generator.
• 12/1: The John Waters Advent Calendar-it starts today
• 11/28: It Chooses You: All I Want for Christmas is Everything from Miranda July's Pop-Up Shop
• 11/3: Things I'd Move to Minnesota For
• 9/6: PHOTOS: Maloof $$ Money Cup
• 9/2: PHOTOS: Chantilly Model Train Show
• 9/1: Libby's List: 5 Things I Want Right Now...