Hi! Welcome to Best Weekend Bets, this is where we give you the true path to salvation! Just follow our tenants exactly and upon death you will be rewarded virgins, honey, and jetpacks! This week I'll throw in some inspirational quotes for good measure...
Thursday
Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
-Mark Twain
First off, don't miss our Capital Fringe Fest BWB here:
CAPITAL FRINGE FAST: Come for the Music, Stay for the Music
And electronic BWB here:
Humpday Hysteria: Your Comprehensive Dance/Electronic Music Update
Lot's of stuff going on this Thur, which is good cause you'll need to rest up and say your prayers for Saturday's Jesus Camp. First up there are a few gallery openings:
A Priori / A Posteriori, Instinct Installation Opening @ Gallery 31
Betsy Anderson: Greece Abstracted @ The Art League Gallery
Kristen Hileman and Blake Gopnik: Art in the Present @ Hirshhorn
MANifestations Exhibit @ Sitar Arts Center
none of them are as impressive as the carvings of naughty lady parts at the Vatican though, so you may want to go to Ft. Reno instead:
Imperial China / FFFever / The Key Blanks @ Fort Reno
But those guys aren't as good as Faith +1...
The Christian religion not only was at first attended with miracles, but even at this day cannot be believed by any reasonable person without one.
-David Hume
...so maybe you'd rather see some movies:
80’s Bike-in Movie Night: Breakfast Club @ Tingey Plaza
Film Screening: William Eggleston in The Real World @ The Corcoran
But neither of those come close to the majestic snuff film The Passion, so you may want to try your luck at:
SHORTS @ Asylum
Fatback Presents: Dope Classics @ ST.EX
U.S. Royalty Mansion Party w/ Young Lords
But those places are often frequented by pickpockets and loose women, so just stay home and take an E-Meter reading.
It seems to me that the idea of a personal God is an anthropological concept which I cannot take seriously. I feel also not able to imagine some will or goal outside the human sphere.
-Albert Einstein (don't worry, he was posthumously baptized by Mormons, so he's still going to heaven)
Friday
Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?
-Douglas Adams
Flagellate yourself for Jesus. Really hard. Now go party your Mormon underpants off at:
The Dance Party, Ra Ra Rasputin, Tigercity, Casper Bangs @ 930 Club
Since it is obviously inconceivable that all religions can be right, the most reasonable conclusion is that they are all wrong.
-Christopher Hitchens
Saturday
All thinking men are atheists.
-Ernest Hemingway
PRAISE BE TO GOD! It's Jesus Camp time.
The religion of one age is the literary entertainment of the next.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
We're sure to sell out this week so come early. We'll probably also run out of chairs, so bring an extra towel to lay on.
Noon-8pm
Capitol Skyline Hotel
10 I Street SW
Don't try to use Koogle, the Kosher Google, it's down on Shabbat, so get all the details here:
BYT Summer Camp Week 7: JESUS CAMP @ Capitol Skyline Hotel
Also not to be missed, a bunch of people exposing their dirty sinful naked bodies in Baltimore.
GUINNESS WORLD RECORD Skinny Dip @ B’more
The Bible is not my book nor Christianity my profession.
-Abraham Lincoln
Sunday
GO TO CHURCH MOTHER TRUCKERS!
I don't know that atheists should be regarded as citizens, not should they be regarded as patriotic. This is one nation under God.
-George H. W. Bush
Dewy Chafin a preacher in the Church of the Lord Jesus in Jolo, West Virginia holds two fistfuls of rattlesnakes during snake-handling church services in 1991. Dewey has been “bit” by poisonous snakes over 116 times, treating his wounds only with prayer. Photograph by Bill Snead.
Then rent Marjoe and The God Who Wasn't There and Religulous on Netflix.
If you have any other ideas, post them in the comments.
And now some more quotes for you:
I prayed for freedom 20 years but received no answer until I prayed with my legs.
-Frederick Douglass
The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason.
-Benjamin Franklin
Properly read, the Bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived.
-Isaac Asimov
The Bible. That is what fools have written, what imbeciles command, what rogues teach, and young children are made to learn by heart.
-Voltaire
I find it necessary to wash my hands after I have come into contact with religious people.
-Friedrich Nietzsche
The Christian god can easily be pictured as virtually the same god as the many ancient gods of past civilizations. The Christian god is a three headed monster; cruel, vengeful and capricious. If one wishes to know more of this raging, three headed beast-like god, one only needs to look at the caliber of people who say they serve him. They are always of two classes; fools and hypocrites. To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical.
-Thomas Jefferson
Certainty about the next life is simply incompatible with tolerance in this one.
-Sam Harris
I believe in God, only I spell it Nature.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.
-Bill Watterson
God bless those pagans.
-Homer Simpson
Previously in Misc/Awesome:
- 12/28: Terrible Boyfriend/ Girlfriend Generator.
- 12/1: The John Waters Advent Calendar-it starts today
- 11/28: It Chooses You: All I Want for Christmas is Everything from Miranda July's Pop-Up Shop
- 11/3: Things I'd Move to Minnesota For
- 9/6: PHOTOS: Maloof $$ Money Cup
- 9/2: PHOTOS: Chantilly Model Train Show
- 9/1: Libby's List: 5 Things I Want Right Now...
- 8/22: PHOTOS: Best Friends Day
- 8/10: PHOTOS: Lawn Mover Racing, Eastern Seaboard Regionals @ Bowles Farm
- 7/26: Special List: Things the BYGays Want Now That We Can Marry In DC (and NY!)
God loves a cheerful giver.
damn straight i'll be dancing my motherfucking mormon panties off on friday.
did you steal the FLW quote from me?
Friday night belongs to Phil Ade @ Commonwealth:
http://www.brightestyoungthings.com/music/byt-listening-party-phil-ade/
Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?
- Epicurus
Religion easily has the best bullshit story of all time. Think about it. Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
What can be asserted without proof can be dismissed without proof.
Christopher Hitchens
@Amanda
I did not know it was yours...
Shall I tell you the law of God in regard to the African race? If the white man who belongs to the chosen seed mixes his blood with the seed of Cain, the penalty, under the law of God, is death on the spot. This will always be so. (Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses, 10:110)
FEEDBACK is this Saturday @ DC9
It's the 1yr Anniversary Party ft.
Dave Nada
Stereofaith & Jonny Blaze
Andrew Jaye
Trevor Martin
w/ a live performance by
Da Hardy Boyz (Turntable Lab, NYC)
......
I'm guest hosting & we will be giving out two free tickets to http://www.going.com/mcbu --- dance contests, of course.
cale, it's my "religious view." and i love that quote, and frank lloyd wright.
koogle! learn something new everyday! hilarious.
also, just read the rest of your comment, you and i should have a chat about my religious upbringing. i have a lot of feelings about brigham young among others.
Thoughts Across Time! Future Disco and Retro Techno at Comet Ping Pong this Saturday as well:
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/event.php?eid=228444070297
Call me old fashioned, but i still believe there's only one true god. And he lives in this lake. And his name is Zorgo.
BTW, i got my (official) copy of The State on DVD last week.
Mine is in the mail! Does it have the original music??
I just added David Wain and Michael Shcowalter on twitter. A.D. Miles has a pretty amusing feed as well.
Michael & Michael Have Issues July 15th
It does not have all the original music. there is an insert explaining the music situation.
i actually hadn't seen most of these since they originally aired, so i haven't really noticed an issue with it.
thanks, guys. it's important for atheists to let people know we're here. the more atheists there are, the better off the world will be. religion is ridiculous (including yoga).
yoga scares me
@chad
I have/had a bunch of terrible quality VHS copies floating around and the original music was pretty key to a lot of the sketches, like The Breeders on the pants sketch and Ween on the bathroom attendant sketch. Bummer.
Also - how did you get a copy so early?
@steve
Make a difference and donate to Americans United for the Separation of Church & State: http://www.au.org/ they take chuch/state cases to court and win.
@cale
i dunno how i got mine so early. i happened upon a link to pre-order on one of the Michaels' twitter feed. I was evidently one of the first 2000 to order, cuz i also got a free t shirt.
i love the bill watterson credit