90210 Redux

September 3, 2008 by Svetlana  Send to a Friend

Like the dedicated TV blogger that I have become, I sacrificed myself at the altar of another CW offering last night so we could all-importantly discuss:
How does the new 90210 compare to the old 90210?
(which mind you, I watched RELIGIOUSLY in Serbia from the age of 10 and onwards, till they became lame and I became semi-grown up)

I even locked myself in a room with 5 other girls, with varying knowledges (not, a plausible plural, I know) of the original series just for compare and contrast purposes.

Sure, the song is still the same.
Sure, the most important character (The Peach Pit) is still there.
Sure, they still have Kelli and Brenda roaming the hallways of West Beverley.
Sure, they still have indie bands performing at conspicuous places (this week: Tilly and The Wall)
Sure, sure, sure.

But, lets face it, the success of this show will hinge on the casting.
Is the new Brenda going to be better than the old Brenda? (even if her name is Annie?)
Is the new Dylan as cute as the old Dylan? (cuter)
Does the new Brandon have shoulders (something Jason Priestly painfully lacked)
And how the hell are they going to find another Andrea Zuckerman? (they don’t)

So here goes….

The season opener was 2 hours long so they managed to cram a lot in, but I will try to digest it for you:

Annie and her (black and adopted allowing for the whole “same age” dynamic without resorting to the twin deal again-clever) brother Dixon (I almost wrote Mason) arrive to LA from Kansas (Minnesota is so 1990) with dad and future West Beverly Principal Rob Estes (”Melrose Place” alum) and mom Lauri Laughlin (Becky from “Full House”) to start a new life and take care of Dad’s alcoholic movie star mom (Jessica Walters doing a watered down Lucille Bluth but still chewing everyone else in sight off the screen). Mason plays lacrosse (field hockey being so 1990 as well, apparently), Annie is into musicals (guess who is guest starring as a visiting director?) and the hallways of West Beverly High are populated with people just as bitchy but a little (a LOT) skinnier (not being anorexic is so 1990 too) that 18 years a go.

Kelli Taylor is a guidance councelor.
Her little sister Erin (which her mom had with David Silver’s dad MEL) is in school (the scary thing, if you are my age is that the math actually works- Erin was born in season 3, OF COURSE SHE IS IN HIGH SCHOOL NOW. OF COURSE YOU FEEL SOOOOOOO OLD ALL OF A SUDDEN.), there is some kind of a reigning but bland couple (I forgot their names), a dorky (but cute) AV kid (vaguely ethnic, for variety sake) and a drama princess with a sever bob and a drug problem (from the wrong side of the tracks!).

Plus a really cute teacher who I think was put on this earth to remind you that yes, you are the crossover generation because now you find the teachers cute.
Dammit.
Cute teacher photo:

OH,OH,OH and most importantly there is Ty Collins, who with a name like that, is obviously, this show’s Dylan McKay.

Say it with me: Ty Collins.
See how it rolls of your tongue all nice?
You can already imagine the blinding white teeth, the bentley (porsches are SOOOO 1990), the private jets (being ashamed of your wealth is SOOOOO 1990) and OF COURSE he promptly falls for Annie (its always the quiet ones) setting the stage up for virginity losing, parental disapproval, curfew breaks and all the other things that make life worth living.

There are also zero photos of Ty on CW’s website (pretty sure its some kind of a evil ploy to get you to tune in just so you can actually see him) so you get ANOTHER cute teacher photo for good measure:

The myriad of plots included all the standard good stuff: car accidents, light kleptomania, single motherhood, financial problems, BLOGGING, back stabbing, cheating (in person AND in school papers), pranks involving pigs, fights among able bodied young men, over protective, midwestern parenting, overly loose, California parenting, 800 dollar dresses, kleptomania, flights to San Francisco for dinner, being caught by your parents and a complete disregard for the time-space continuum.
It was kind of like the OC on steroids. And less funny.(But more funny because of it?)

Not quite like the old times (I mean, no one offered themselves to anyone while riding an amusement park ride, and EVERYONE is STILL hiding their PAINFULLY obvious eating disorders, so I am not fully sold yet), but plenty to keep you coming back for a visit.

At least there are no more James Dean haircuts ANYWHERE TO BE SEEN.
Just hot teachers
AMEN.

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