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Like an Anaconda F*#ing a Sequoia

Like an Anaconda F*#ing a Sequoia

November 3, 2008 by BYT at large Send to a Friend Send to a Friend

Some of you may remember this from over a year a go (a year and a month to be exact) but since Henry is back in town (and apparently giving interviews) we figured we’d rerun what Wonkette called “The best Henry Rollins interview ever”. If for nothing, then for the comments some of you once wrote.

Cale: Hey Henry, just wanted to make sure you got the questions I sent over, haven’t heard back from you yet, thanx!

Henry: Cale, I got the questions, I am not doing them. Thanks. Henry.

art —————————

Catch Mr. Rollins tonight at the Birchmere for the “Provoked” spoken word tour.

Date: Tues 10/2
Time: 7:30 PM
Cost: $25.00

http://21361.com/
http://www.birchmere.com/

—————————

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Nicole Says:

Wow. So, what were the questions anyway?

October 2, 2007 at 9:11 am
Cale Says:

You know, I actually went into this one taking special care not to piss him off, the questions were well researched and relevant, except for a few like this one:

Do you think you would have been able to reach as many people as you have over the years if it wasn’t for your neck? I mean, I feel like it just gives more weight and integrity to everything you’re saying. It’s like an anaconda fucked a sequoia.

and

What life lessons did you learn working in the Georgetown Haagen-Dazs?

October 2, 2007 at 9:17 am
Lily Says:

now i’m not so sad i missed him last night at the Birchmere
seeing Charlotte Martin instead at the Black Cat tonight
i’ll catch him some other time

October 2, 2007 at 9:31 am
Nicole Says:

Damn. Oh well, you tried. And he at least provided enough fodder for the ‘interview.’

I’m sad to not ever really know the answer to the Haagen-Dazs question. Maybe you should find someone on the street who looks like Henry Rollins and ask them the same questions.

October 2, 2007 at 9:31 am
Svetlana Says:

email exchange post rejection:

cale: Henry hates me.
svetlana: Cale, email him again and ask him to do something else if he doesn’t want to do an interwiew. I WANT HENRY ON BYT.
cale: you want me to beg?
svetlana: no, i just want you to be nice

ten minutes later:

cale: just emailed henry asking him if he wanted to do a giveaway in which he records a voicemail greeting for one of our readers. I think he may say no. Just a hunch.

ten minutes later, email from henry arrives:

“I’m Not Into That. Henry”

October 2, 2007 at 9:39 am
Nicole Says:

So really what you’re saying is… He’s just not that into you Cale? How sad.

October 2, 2007 at 9:43 am
yep Says:

why the fuck would henry rollins interview with you?

October 2, 2007 at 9:53 am
nope Says:

because their attitude is better than yours?

October 2, 2007 at 10:00 am
martee soshall Says:

hahahahah! great interview, reminds me of a Johnny Rotten interview attempt.

Henry Rollins, yawn: not funny enough to be a real comedian, not smart enough to be a real politician. but look out, he’s angry!!!! ooooooooooooooo

and fyi, I have it on good authority that the old-school punk types don’t like BYT too much.

you know who loves BYT though? Washington Social Club, playing at 930 Club next monday with The Klaxons………

October 2, 2007 at 10:05 am
Svetlana Says:

for the record, when I sent out the interview request to Henry, BYT links and all, he responded within an hour and seemed totally enthusiastic about it (as much as he gets enthusiastic)

I still think that it is us mentioning his role in the Charlie Sheen/Kristy Swanson vehicle “The Chase” that made him
“not be that into it”.

October 2, 2007 at 10:11 am
Ahmad Says:

Cale, tell him that I want to fuck his brains out, and then ask him if he’s coming to BeBar after the show. They’ve got half price sweet martinis all night! He won’t turn it down. He just *can’t*.

October 2, 2007 at 10:11 am
del marco Says:

you should email him back and tell him that….(wait for it) he’s a LIIIIIIIAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!

October 2, 2007 at 10:29 am
Lily Says:

gotta give him props for his prompt responses, though

October 2, 2007 at 10:30 am
del marco Says:

on fucking Henry Rollins……..

it would be awesome to do rock and roll ‘dick molds’ of all the Dischord/early punk guys…..even if they were fake, that would be funny.

Lily, gotta say, you’re placing the bar pretty Low on your ‘props’. don’t just give ‘props’ away Lily, save them until marriage and then give them to someone you really love. sure, all the boys will make you think your ‘popular’, but once you give them ‘props’ they won’t take you to the big dance.

October 2, 2007 at 11:01 am
del marco Says:

sign my ‘propstinence pledge’ Lily!

October 2, 2007 at 11:05 am
Lily Says:

you’re so right
how could i fall off the props celibacy bandwagon?
i don’t want to be the newest hussie in ho-town
gotta keep in good company

link me to the propstinence pledge post-haste (how’s that for alliteration, yet again) so i can regain my virtue!

October 2, 2007 at 11:48 am
del marco Says:

I __________ do hereby pledge to not give props until such time as props are mad warranted.

October 2, 2007 at 12:50 pm
El Chico Cesar Says:

Paley Caley: You should’ve threatened Sir Henry Rollins with a Bad Brains interview.

October 2, 2007 at 1:04 pm
del marco Says:

has BYT ever tried to get the Ian Mackaye (or Ian 1)?

October 2, 2007 at 2:07 pm
Ben Says:

Freakin’ comedy gold. Glad we posted this.

October 2, 2007 at 2:17 pm
ann Says:

HAHAHA, not to rain on your parade, BYT, but I love that every time you try to interview a musician, it either turns out to be really awkward or it just doesn’t end up happening. It gives this site a lot of charm, actually.

October 2, 2007 at 2:20 pm
Taylor Says:

Cale,
Marty showed this to me a few hours ago and I’m still laughing. One of your more enlightening interviews. :)

October 2, 2007 at 2:23 pm
Svetlana Says:

While BYT has indeed had its fair share of awkward interviews
such as Fiery Furnaces, Raveonettes, Blonde Redhead and Rilo Kiley
(which we relish, much like other awkward things like too long hugs with subtle pelvic thrusting)

we have also had some pretty classic success stories:
see Menomena, Animal Collective, Juan McLean and Jim Gaffigan as shining examples of embracing the BYT interview process.

group hug everyone.

October 2, 2007 at 2:29 pm
doctordoom Says:

I’m not shocked he didn’t reply.. and frankly i’m happy. you sound like a fucking dickbag. what kind of comment is that? Anaconda eating a sequoia? More like you’re a pole smoker. Leave henry rollins alone.

October 2, 2007 at 2:29 pm
Michael Says:

Please tell me one of your questions was:

“is it true you look so big because you’re so short?”

October 2, 2007 at 2:29 pm
KateR Says:

You guys. He was super funny at last night’s show. I’d imagine he might not want to do an interview for a site he’s never heard of because he’s kind of in the middle of a huge tour with shows nearly every day.

Re: “going to see Charlotte Martin tonight” — is it not cool to say you’re going to see Ken Andrews? Have to mention his lesser-known wife instead? Man. I need to get with it.

October 2, 2007 at 3:21 pm
Cale Says:

KateR - just to clarify - Mr. Rollins had already agreed to do the interview before the above exchange.

October 2, 2007 at 3:27 pm
Lily Says:

i’ve never seen Ken before nor heard his music yet
first i’ve heard of him was this tour with Charlotte

i’ve seen Charlotte twice before
has nothing to do with being/not being “cool”

October 2, 2007 at 3:31 pm
Michael Says:

I think “anaconda fucked a sequoia” is the most perfect description of Rollins’ huge neck as anything I’ve ever read.

Shit I’d be flattered.

October 2, 2007 at 3:37 pm
martee soshall Says:

it’s cause he’s a liiiiaaaaaa….wait, did that one.

I think we should all commit, right here, right now, to annoy Henry Rollins until he tells us all, why, why God! he decided agianst answering Cale’s politely irreverent questions. we should interview all the big names of his day, Ian Mackaye, Michael Stipe, H.R., etc, until we get to the bottom of this.

or, someone could challenge him to a weight lifting competition called “Benching Henry Rollins” where various dc indie rockers attempt to ‘put up’ Rollin’s ‘goal weight’.

October 2, 2007 at 3:48 pm
jmc Says:

you dodged a bullet there, Cale. Whew. Who the fuck wants to hear what Henry Rollins has to say?

October 2, 2007 at 3:48 pm
martee soshall Says:

or more to the point, who can’t completely guess what henry rollins is going to say?

October 2, 2007 at 3:53 pm
Torrey Says:

My best memory of Rollins is from Woodstock 94 when the crown went nuts during his set. It took a few minutes for him to realize they it wasn’t his set they were into…but the rain.

October 2, 2007 at 3:54 pm
theholidaygirl Says:

Cripes, has anybody heard of respect for your elders? You guys suck.

October 2, 2007 at 4:00 pm
do you think Says:

his neck would talk for him? like a publicist, in a way? his chin winks at you if you give it a smile

October 2, 2007 at 4:01 pm
Henry Rollins Is More Punk Than You | Diminished Seventh Says:

[...] BYT interview with Henry Rollins [...]

October 2, 2007 at 4:06 pm
del marco Says:

awww, theholidaygirl, come on luv, we’re just goofin’. don’t be sad. we still love punk music, don’t we guys? guys? guys oh god, they’re all dead. God save the queen……..

October 2, 2007 at 4:15 pm
JS Says:

Haha, that is awesome. I bet the rest of your questions were retarded too, you seem like a d-bag.

October 2, 2007 at 4:40 pm
Cale Says:

“Punk rock died when the first kid said Punk’s not dead”
-David Berman / Silver Jews

October 2, 2007 at 4:56 pm
way back machine and the past tense Says:

Hank was a proxy for something much more sinister than he or any other member of BF could ever aspire toward.
Hank was merely an actor searching for a role, Fred Gwynne made a better name for himself than Hank ever will.

Police Story=Car 54 Where are You
Damaged= The Munsters
It would be really endearing if Hank could earn a spot on ABC’s “The View.” That is more his speed these days.

October 2, 2007 at 5:04 pm
Jason Says:

I loved him in The Chase. Almost as good as watching Al Pacino slap in around in Heat, but not as good as watching Walter Matthau slap Elvis around in King Creole.

October 2, 2007 at 8:07 pm
La Tee Da Says:

“While BYT has indeed had its fair share of awkward interviews such as Fiery Furnaces, Raveonettes, Blonde Redhead and Rilo Kiley….”

A bunch of half-assed mediocre bands. Cool.

October 3, 2007 at 8:47 am
Hunter Says:

Henry performed his spoken word act for nearly 3 hours straight and frankly it was pretty damn entertaining, if any pseudo-hipsters on the site can do the same w/o putting anyone to sleep or bringing about thoughts of suicide feel free to speak up.

October 3, 2007 at 9:53 am
k Says:

is this guy challenging BYT contributors (and possibly readers-at-large) to put on their own spoken word show? for reals? FOR REALS?? i think somebody ought to take him up on it. ironic could read all his myspace bulletins from this year. cale could ask 3 hours worth of “dickbag questions.” svetlana could do a list of her 6,485 favorite things. ashley could do full body makeup on someone like on monique’s F.A.T. pageant while i narrate the step-by-step and possibly perform shakespeare soliloquies. michael could…well, just stand there and be michael.

because obviously writing about what other people do means you have to prove that you can do it, too!

October 3, 2007 at 12:07 pm
Michael Says:

“michael could…well, just stand there and be michael. ”

Oh I’m in love. Are you hot? Do you put out?

October 3, 2007 at 1:44 pm
Cale Says:

k - I would also like to do an interpretive dance while Jason reads his movie reviews aloud.

October 3, 2007 at 1:57 pm
k Says:

michael, it’s just me, kim. i don’t put out.

for you!

OH!

cale - yes, yes, a thousand times yes.

October 3, 2007 at 2:50 pm
Michael Says:

not yet.

October 3, 2007 at 3:41 pm
Just call me Hank Says:

Dearest Cale,

I am so, so, so sorry for the childish, more-punk-than-thou attitude I copped with you. My therapist and I are working on them. I guess if more people liked me, they’d buy my albums, and I’d have money for a better therapist. And then, these outbursts would stop.

I really love you BYT, and, Svetlana. But just like the old song, “you always hurt the ones you love.”

Hugz,
Henry

October 3, 2007 at 5:52 pm
Erik Says:

Haha! Give ‘em Hell Henry!

October 3, 2007 at 7:06 pm
Jason Bond Says:

*Still* laughing at this.

October 3, 2007 at 9:50 pm
not quite as hip as grace Says:

My favorite part about this exchange is the dipshits coming out of the wood work to defend the poor, poor BYT. News flash: Henry Rollins is more relevant to DC and the DC music scence than the BYT’s review of the ironic T shirt sale at Urban Outfitters, pouty face pictures of themselves at the Black Cat, a review of the Arcade FIRE CD, and skinny, poser coked out kids in American Apparel underwear. If he skimmed the site, it doesn’t surprise me that he declined to participate - I know, I l know, even AFTER he said he would agree to be interviewed. Get a clue — hey dipshit, they are spinning the new justin timberlake cd at wonderland, everyone’s wearing AC/DC t-shirts, and sparks are freeeeeeeeeee. why are you sitting here reading this? get to it!

October 3, 2007 at 11:50 pm
Cale Says:

Honest question - is Sparks still doing the freebies, cause I haven’t seen it in a while? I never much cared for the stuff but it was a good way to get people out…

October 4, 2007 at 12:55 am
Rob Says:

whoa, FINALLY somebody came on BYT and really took it to those hipsters by saying the same exact shit as every other anonymous poster on here. You’re a real fucking hero dude.

October 4, 2007 at 1:04 pm
I Love Rob Says:

Hey Rob can I massage your balls? You’re really deep.

October 5, 2007 at 7:16 am
Rob Says:

Yeah, that’s fine.

October 5, 2007 at 7:56 am
The Stochastic Miracle Says:

Sorry I came late to this discussion, but I just relish the chance to say in a public forum that I would do just fine if the entire Dischord branch of music history were pruned from the DC tree.

For genuine Metro-area talent from that era, I like Alzo Boszormenyi and the Acid Achievers.

I don’t know what it is about DC that tends to drive away the sublimely weird. DC punk has always sounded to me as sterile and oppressive as Washington politics, without the occasionally interesting rhetorical flourishes.

December 18, 2007 at 9:16 pm
matt Says:

well, this might explain the response I got from good ol’ Hank when I emailed him to do a show review for tonight.

And I quote:

Matt, can’t help on that one but thanks for the interest. Henry

November 3, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Jeff Says:

Email him and ask him some Warren Brown/Cakelove questions. Maybe we could get him to bake a cake next time he’s in town.

November 3, 2008 at 1:11 pm
Reality Says:

I wonder why he wouldn’t want to answer questions from some jackass club KiD that wears fucking glo-stick earrings and flops around to TeChNo MuSiK on the regular.

November 3, 2008 at 4:03 pm
eduardo ignasio Says:

whatever. he has the attitude of an asshole, not a punk rocker and his music sucks. all of it. even that one-hit wonder ‘liar’. and it isn’t punk.

ReAlItY, iS It cOoL tO tYpE LiKe tHiS? cOoL!

November 3, 2008 at 6:06 pm
Reality Says:

One hit wonder? Pull your head out of your ass. I had no idea SOA and Black Flag were “one hit wonders”. Do some research
dickbag. You’d be an asshole too if you constantly had to deal with people such as yourself.

November 4, 2008 at 11:54 am