Lucero is playing a show this Friday on Black Cat's mainstage and considering that every boy worth their weight in whiskey that we know has preparing for a pilgrimage to it, we decided that an interview is order. So we sent Ian, hairstylist to every DC it girl worth her salt and whiskey kid for life, on their trail (+ we made them do some ridiculous surveying behind his back, but more on that later).
So, without further a do, take it away Ian:

What is a drunken Sunday afternoon postbrunch day good for? Interviewing Brian Venable, guitarist and one of the founding fathers of Lucero. Via the interweb 2.0, Beta Version. I got my hi-tec on with some Memphis. Lucero's home, and my hometown.

IP: Thanks for taking the time to answer these important, yet delicate questions. At any given time feel free to cry, open up, share, or laugh at anything. Kind of like Eddie Murphy on a Barbara Walters interview, are you guys cool with that?

BV: I only cry after whiskey and the Disney film “The Fox and The Hound.” How’s that for opening up?

IP: Okay, moving on. Multiple Choice. Roy Barry, is he:
A. The smartest man alive, who, rumor has it, has an army?
B. Lucero’s drummer and time to time frequent neck beard owner?
C. Fuck yeah, all of the above!

BV: He’s D. The smartest man that (I) know who does drum in Lucero and who doesn’t own the neck beards, he just collects them and he does have alot, but I wouldn’t call them an army.

IP: I’m getting’ near 30 now, and every album you all have put out has managed to pull memories from bands I can’t live without from growing up, plus bands I listen to today. Kill the cliché question and tell me the bands from growing up that helped you guys make it through your teens.

BV: 7 Seconds, The Replacements, The Cure, Gorilla Biscuits, Elvis Costello, Youth of Today, Minor Threat, The Smithereens, The Pixies, Metallica’s Ride the Lightning and the Bad Brains...

IP: You guys have gone out with some amazing bands,
Murder By Death, Against Me, Cory Branan, Drag The River, Drive By Truckers, etc. Has your liver ever sent you a text message the next day that says, “Fuck You!”

BV: No...my liver doesn't have good enough credit to get a cell phone.

IP: Can you give everyone a quick explanation of how you recorded “The Attic Tapes”?

BV: Me and Ben went over to my dad's house and layed down basic tracks of all the songs we knew and as we gained members we had them come over and record their parts....in the attic!

IP: GLORIOUS, and efficient. Next to Jawbreaker (RIP), I would have to say that Lucero is the best band in the whole wide world! Who do you think is the best band in the whole wide world? And why?

BV: the Clash... i feel like they are the punk rock equavilant to the Beatles, with how the started out very raw and punk rock and spent the rest of their recording life taking in all the influences and making their records the way they wanted. I don't know I could spend hours discussing this...I love them.

IP: Couldn't have said it better. So, uhm, do you prefer accordion, or squeezebox?

BV: It depends on if you want the girl to go home with you that night.... I like hand piano.

IP: I'm a lucky man then, my girl plays piano!!! Okay, your all in the woods and a bear comes up, and he’s pissed. Who stays and fights? Who curls in the fetal position? Personally, I’d take the fetal...

BV: That's what we pay Gary for...I'm probably still in the hotel room and the rest of the boys are at the bar.
Bears are scared of bars, duh!

IP: So my boy writes a lot of graffiti on freights, and he’s written a lot of Lucero lyrics on them. Technically there’s a lot of Lucero songs ON trains, when are you going to write one about trains? He’s dying for it.

BV: Graffiti is illegal and yer friend should be put in jail...

IP: Maybe so. Well, this is a test for you Ben: The following are the lyrics for the last verse of “All Sewn Up”,

now I'm all sewn up with bad tattoos
cant hide from the faded truth
well it follows me wherever I might move I’m all sewn up with bad tattoos

Will he remember them at the end of the show? It’s been awhile since we’ve heard the whole thing live, and well, we love that song.

BV: He always knows the first and last verses it's the middle verses that give him the most trouble...
As of 2:54am 4.5.07 we are officially retiring that song. Thanks for bringing it up you've ruined it for everyone now.

IP: Oops. (Sorry Ross!) Oh yeah, almost forgot. Your lives are on the line, your going to die and the only way to live is to eat either a poop sandwich, or a booger sandwich? What do you do?

BV: Once again that's what we pay Gary for...

IP: Oops. (Sorry Gary!)Can you give us a detailed schedule of when you wouldlike the whiskey delivered to the band during your set? Maybe there could be a sign, a secret word. Multiple trips are also encouraged.

BV: For every 2 shots an audience member takes, we should have 1 delivered, that way we always sound like the greatest band in the world; but instead of booze we really think people should start bringing us the cash...I wanna buy a house.

IP: Good luck with the house! I have to go now, I can't see the keyboard anymore. You heard it kids. Money talks and Whiskey walks. Well... it kind of stumbles. Just like I'm about too.

BYT:And now AND independent of the interview itself, a sort of a BYT tradition:the all important completely pointless section of the BYT interviews: the randomer the better survey.
Provided today by http://www.intimateemotions.com/Manlyquiz.html and allowing us to see JUST how much of a man you are (bcse ALL the real men depend on www.intimateemotions.com to let
them rest assured in their manliness, of course)

plus we really just wanted to use some of these illustrations:

THANK YOU FOR DOING THIS.

1. A Manly Man cuts his steak with:
>A - Steak Knife
>B - Buck Knife
>C - Swiss Army Knife
>D - None of the aboveanswer: E. a real man doesn't eat meat!2. My favorite footwear is:
>A - Penny Loafers
>B - Steel Toed Wolverines
>C - Topsidersanswer: D. flip flops3. A perfect woman is:
>A - 36-24-36, blonde, blue eyes
>B - Career-oriented and self-motivated
>C - 5 feet tall, no teeth, flat headanswer: D. yer girlfriend while yer at work....sorry, dude she's in my top 8.

4. The Manly Man Saturday consists of:
>A - Watching football
>B - Playing football
>C - Coaching football

answer: D. football sucks... start worshipping soccer!

5. The Manly Man's Favorite Store is:
>A - Tools R Us
>B - Lowe's
>C - Sports Town

answer: D. whichever pawnshop has the best used porn dvd collection.

6. For entertainment, a Manly Man prefers:
>A - "Dirty Harry"
>B - "The Longest Yard"
>C - "Debbie Does Dallas "

answer: D. watching his girlfriend undress on the coffee table while he watches manchester united win the FA cup...

7. A Manly Man expresses himself...
>A - With warm, outward emotional displays.
>B - Through poetry, song and art.
>C - From behind the wheel of his classic '70's muscle car.

answer: D. through warm, outward displays of his classic 70's muscle from behind yer mom...

8. A Manly drink is...
>A - A shot and a beer
>B - Gatorade
>C - Spring Water

answer: D. cafe con leche!!!

9. Beneath his jeans a Manly Man wears:
>A - Boxers
>B - BVD's
>C - Nothing

answer: D. a manly man punches people in the eye who ask him about his drawers...

10. Why did the Manly Man cross the road?
>A - What's it to you?
>B - To get to the other side.
>C - To beat the crap out of some sissy boy.

answer: D. to get to yer moms house and display his classic 70's muscle on her outwardly warm behind.

11. A Manly Man gets a woman's attention by:
>A - Grunting loudly in her ear
>B - Ripping off her dress
>C - None of the above

answer: D. knocking her up and then marrying her and then leaving her for her younger cuter sister and getting her pregnant too...do I have yer attention yet?

You definitely do.

This just definitely proved what we always suspected:

Obviously LUCERO is the kind of man that intimateemotions.com can't handle.
and we like it.
catch the band live tonight at the Cat mainstage.
you will probably be able to smell a testosterone as far as.....downstairs where guerilla queer bar is having its 3rd year anniversary and all the kids in skinny jeans will be dancing at sorted.
should be a magical time.