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You Suck Big Time
July 24, 2008 by Libby 
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Hey! Guess what! You suck!(p.s.hate is the new love)
In no particular order of annoyance:
The Madden Brothers
LOLCats
Reggaeton
The New American Gladiators: lame outfits, lame names, lame events!
vs.
MySpace Friend Requests from these girls:
Sublime: ska-punk-pop makes me want to kill myself.
People who G-Chat off the record:
Segways: you’ve never seen someone look cool and sexy on a Segway, ever.
All new seasons and cast members of The Real World (except Joey from Real World XX)
Ed Hardy: the clothing line that describes itself as “vintage tattoo wear”m looks like total trash, and is the preferred brand of casual wear for celebrity trash like Britney, Ronaldo, Heidi Montage
Jam Bands: just think about the names Monkeys on Ecstasy, Disco Biscuits, Umphrey’s Mcgee, moe, The String Cheese Incident, Yonder Mountain String Band. Now think about their stupid fans and how annoying it is when they play stupid hacky sack and ultimate on the quad. Now hate.
Young Guys with MBAs
Kevin Costner movies
Lance Armstrong: nutless cheater who probably lied about having cancer in order to pump himself full of steroids and get sympathy lays. He ditched his wife who bore him children and stayed by his side while he battled cancer for Sheryl Crow and then ditched her for a teenage troll Olsen who he ditched for Matthew McConaughey. AND he supports Bush (who BYT also hates)
Lars Ulrich: such a little bitch. He was such an overdramatic egotistical douche bag in Some Kind of Monster. Listening to him talk about the “nature of modern art” was excruciating. His bald millionaire-ass campaigned against college kids downloading his music off of Napster by showing up at the headquarters of file-sharing site clutching the names of more than 300,000 people the band accused of illegally downloading its music. Lars also dumped his first wife, the Harvard educated emergency medicine physician that served as the inspiration for Skylar in Good Will Hunting, for a retarded Danish actress.
Check him out on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
And what hate list would be complete without Bono!
You need to vent? Do it.
DW - my comments are pure gold. Random House wants me to write a book containing a running commentary on daily news even so shove it right up your asshole. I’m going to be so fucking rich I’m going to buy D.C. and make you move.
Libby - Kevin Coster is off limits. Remove him from the list please kindly.
July 24, 2008 at 9:31 amIn honor of your No. 2 hate: this list is teh lamez. Ceiling cat iz nah plzed.
July 24, 2008 at 9:37 amOn second thought, the Madden Bros. and Lars Ulrich deserve to be castrated (Lance Armstrong is already half-way there.) So, you get partial love.
July 24, 2008 at 9:39 amagreed, please add michaels comments to this list
also please add tweenage hipsters to this list, the kids who go to the pitchfork festival and comment on the stereogum boards
did you really make fun of hippies? that’s so late 90s
July 24, 2008 at 9:47 amlance armstrong is a coward.
July 24, 2008 at 9:52 am
dan, i hope you’re ready for my pitchfork review then :)
July 24, 2008 at 10:11 amAlso - Segways are awesome, you’re just jealous cause you don’t have one Libby.
Also also - all hipsters secretly love playing hacky sack.
Also also also - can we add Gene Simmons to the list with Lars?
The record industry is in such a mess. I called for what it was when college kids first started download music for free — that they were crooks. I told every record label I spoke with that they just lit the fuse to their own bomb that was going to explode from under them and put them on the street.
There is nothing in me that wants to go in there and do new music. How are you going to deliver it? How are you going to get paid for it if people can just get it for free?…
The record industry doesn’t have a f—ing clue how to make money. It’s only their fault for letting foxes get into the henhouse and then wondering why there’s no eggs or chickens. Every little college kid, every freshly-scrubbed little kid’s face should have been sued off the face of the earth. They should have taken their houses and cars and nipped it right there in the beginning. Those kids are putting 100,000 to a million people out of work. How can you pick on them? They’ve got freckles. That’s a crook. He may as well be wearing a bandit’s mask.
July 24, 2008 at 10:12 ami heart family guy. and i think you are missing out.
stewie (on child sluts - at least from his perspective): “i bet it’s like throwing a hot dog down a hallway”
i also disagree with your g-chatting off the record. privacy is important to some people (google might seem like good guys, but they have your data and they CAN use it, which is kind of creepy)
July 24, 2008 at 10:25 amLance Armstrong is an asshat.
Lolcatz are awesome.
Ed Hardy is so gross. I want it to go away.
July 24, 2008 at 10:34 amFeels everything except LOLcats, segways and Family Guy (are u kidding?). People who use “douchebag” in their driveby comments also deserve to be on the list. and stuck on a spaceship with no toilet orbiting hot ass Mercury.
btw My Dad’s got an MBA, he’s my ace p.c..
July 24, 2008 at 10:34 amDude, Dandy Warhol,
Can’t A GIRL SLEEP FOR ONE NIGHT.
lol cats are amazing. they have resulted in hours of giggling. hours, i tell you.
i will admit that not every family guy is equally funny (although certainly not every south park is either), but the one J. references is hysterical: “so, do you have any traction left down there, or is it like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?” this was at one of stewie’s “sexy parties”. oh, sexy parties….
that will always be funny.
also, ceiling cale….timeless. (but, then, gay 80s dude is awesome.)
July 24, 2008 at 10:42 amFuck LOLCats
July 24, 2008 at 10:56 amhow did irritating commenters not make the list?
July 24, 2008 at 10:59 ambecca - I made the addendum apparently.
Family Guy is hilarious.
“Peter : I’m a paladin with 18 charisma and 97 hit points. I can use my helmet of disintegration and do 1 D4 damage as my half-elf maid weilds his +5 Holy Avenger”
lois: “Paladins can’t use the helmet of disintegration!”
Peter : “Oh! Ok, well then I’m a black guy!”
July 24, 2008 at 11:18 ami kinda feel like libby might have some anger issues…
(hehe. just kidding. but, i couldn’t resist.)
July 24, 2008 at 11:26 amlolcats are not funny.
segways seem like a good idea/cool but then you see someone on them and you can help but think that they are a jackass/tourist (is there a difference?)
i am incapable of playing hackey sack.
i have enjoyed Family Guy quite a bit, but it’s not funny once you’ve experience sitting at a table of six 19/20 year old boys who speak to eachother by quoting it. i swear, there are people that communicate purely through family guy quotes.
i hate bono, and his sunglasses.
cale, i know quite a few boys that have no problem masturbating in front of pictures of jesus/god/the prophet joseph smith etc. because their parents have these pictures in their bathrooms, i doubt they would at all deterred by ceiling cale.
michael: DW obviously hasn’t met you, and does not understand your wisdom/sense of humor.
July 24, 2008 at 11:32 amyou forgot ‘brightestyoungthings.com’.
i think there’s a pretty solid consensus on all of these things. is this really article-worthy?
July 24, 2008 at 12:07 pmfucking young MBA’s. I hates MBA’s more than I hates rabbits.
-Yosemite Sam
July 24, 2008 at 12:22 pmchris’ comment forces us to abandon any sense of immunity to self-examination recognize this site’s own place in the milieu of things that suck. further, he questions the worthiness of the very post itself.
Bra-vo chris.
Reggaeton and People who G-Chat off the record = awesome. but I can agree with most of the others.
July 24, 2008 at 12:36 pmDandy Warhol killed Chandra Levy
July 24, 2008 at 12:47 pmbut… field of dreams? FIELD OF DREAMS! *never has there been a nonpornographic movie in which people say come so often. to that i drink.
add to list:
asshole the drinking game
the poker obsessed
bluetooth headsets
rachel ray
rachel ray
rachel ray
Michael, you are not an irritating commenter.
July 24, 2008 at 1:14 pmThis is what BYT hated a year ago:
http://img399.imageshack.us/img399/7489/dcmodernluxuryny4.jpg
although they made us revise that list about a billion times before accepting it
July 24, 2008 at 1:19 pmI hate babies
Good lolcats are still hilarious.
July 24, 2008 at 3:04 pmI have to admit… I strongly dislike most reggae and most of the people I meet who like it……But hackey sack is OK! And there’s nothing wrong with jam bands.
Some of you may disagree with this….but,
I like to pop my collar. However, I have a long neck, so it’s my firm believe that it’s ok for me to do so.
Reggae has nothing to do with reggaeton.
July 24, 2008 at 3:41 pmI also hate getting tonic when I ask for soda.
I also hate Katey Perry.
I also hate riding my bike up the 13th street hill
My post was unrelated to the previous Reggaeton reference.
July 24, 2008 at 3:55 pmI hate when people dress their animals.
I hate pot pies.
I hate the sound of alarm clocks on television, movies, radio.
Also, I hate Bono AND more importantly, Pink Floyd.
I hate when byters hate on haters then make hate lists.
July 24, 2008 at 4:36 pmTry the 11th st hill. Much easier.
July 24, 2008 at 5:26 pmKatie Perry can die.
Jill Sobule por vida.
Madden bros….eeewwww. worst ever. ever ever. Why do they have to be from here? so embarrasing.
What about self check out aisles at harris teeter?—-the worst part is we all suck at them, so they suck even more!
July 24, 2008 at 6:22 pmKeep rollin em out Libby. I’m with you on everything here except Reggaeton makes everyone dance freaky and I love it and Lolz Cats is awesome. And I don’t even like cats.
July 24, 2008 at 6:26 pmI’d like to revise my earlier comment. After some soul searching, Michael is right on about Kevin Costner. He’s second only to Val Kilmer on my list of “terrible actors who make the terrible movies that i love to watch.” The Saint and Waterworld are two movies I watch at least half of every time i stumble on them on USA. Will this be the beginning of Michael’s comment renaissance?
more adds
1. Interns in Starbucks reading the Wall Street Journal (sorry, you’re not pulling off the seersucker)
2. BYT’s dubious ticket giveaways (more a legitimate criticism than hate)
3. Remixes
4. The American Knock-off of Most Extreme Elimination Challenge (poor John Anderson)
5. Dog People (quit asking me “what he is” … its a god damn MUTT)
6. Cabbies (fucking criminals)
7. Georgetown (they should put a checkpoint coming out of that fucking place, Michael git yer gun! http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/citydesk/2008/07/11/lns-reality-show-update/)
8. Will Ferrel (so much good will squandered)
9. Justice (with the Cross, not the Gavel)
and
10. Virginia drivers.
I hope when you were dissing reggaeton you weren’t dissing my boy Miguelito…cuz that’s just so wrong.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quH1pf1KzG0
July 24, 2008 at 7:33 pmUmphrey’s McGee rocks. Jam band fans are lame, sometimes the bands are pretty legit, though.
July 24, 2008 at 8:43 pmI hate getting soda when I ask for tonic. But that’s only happened once. At Ottobar, I think. It was weird.
July 24, 2008 at 9:50 pmYeah whats with the hating on Kevin Costner…?
your articles start out good and then go way over the top.
like the twenty bar songs - sometimes its fun to get drunk and yell it’s my life! with your friends. dont be a total buzzkill. Try to hate on lame things everyone hates like tpain and redneck sitcoms. thanks.
is katie perry that girl with that song about kissing other girls? if so, then i hate her, too.
July 24, 2008 at 10:33 pmCale, do you hate babies because of cradle cap? It’s totally normal, and it goes away.
Also, I love all the things Nicole claims to hate, except Bono and I guess that whole alarm clock thing. Give me a pot pie and a costumed animal any day.
July 25, 2008 at 1:02 amsublime - um, the lead singer has been dead for over a dozen years. why you wanna hate on them now? plus, they were fucking great in their prime. so in my list i have to say that i hate: you
re: dan’s #10 - md drivers are worse, but generally 85% of people can’t drive worth a fuck. this probably means most of you. learn how to fucking drive.
and if you are in the LEFT LANE it means your are in the PASSING LANE. if you have someone behind you and you aren’t right behind someone else, then GET THE FUCK OVER, idiot. i don’t care how fast you’re going; it’s the PASSING LANE. ever see the signs (like on the g-dub) that say “SLOWER TRAFFIC KEEP RIGHT”? that doesn’t mean “unless you are already going over the speed limit”, it means what it means. if someone is coming up behind you and you are in the left lane then get the fuck over. if you are a person who has had a line of cars behind you in the left lane and you have nobody in front of you then you should probably turn your license in and then go kill yourself.
i don’t really hate very many things, though. have a great day!
July 25, 2008 at 1:17 pmnot a huge Sublime fan but they’ve got a few tight dub pieces. they show love adn respect for the form.
July 25, 2008 at 1:28 pmi would now like to make my “like” list:
1. fitsum
July 25, 2008 at 1:31 pmdamn, this article was hot and funny..
especially the part on jam bands!
i luv (relaxedly) hating on stuff
PS - come hang with me at the black cat on thursday july 31st - ICY DEMONS from chicago are so good (drummer of man man) !! 443.845.0252 - jared
July 25, 2008 at 1:34 pm
Libby was clever for two articles now she’s busted and grasping…kind of like michael’s comments.
Relevance is short on teh interwebs kids omgwtf11!!!1!!11!
July 24, 2008 at 9:06 am