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In the spirit of our cutting edge week of reporting, Jeff sent us the press contact for last night’s “Red Carpet opening of Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum“. Featuring our mayor and everyone’s favorite “mayor for life” Marion Barry unveiling his own likeness in, well, wax.
How could we NOT go?
So, as any professional operation would do, we selected an intrepid team and sent Jason as our red carpet reporter and Joel as our photographer.We sure know how to pick them. This is their story:

Did you ever go to event that you just knew you were going to get kicked out of? Well, no matter what I do, no matter how many times I fall UP the stairs at the Black Cat, or try to make out with someone’s wife at their wedding, I just can’t seem to get kicked out of anywhere. Not that I’m really complaining. But I had that same feeling going to Madame Tussaud’s DC wax museum opening, mainly because Joel and I had the wonderful idea of holding up a sign next to Marion Barry that said “Bitch Set Me Up” We felt the people there wouldn’t really like it too much*.

Good thing we decided to wait to pull our stupid stunt until after the walk through of the museum. If you have never been to a wax museum before, it is fairly creepy. It’s like going to a famous people zoo, except you can get as close to the celebrities as you want, take as many paparazzi photos, and there’s absolutely no chance that they will try to smash your camera or punch you in the face.

The museum itself is “interactive”. This basically means there’s a lot of buttons you can push that do stuff. You can also try on hats and Jackie O’s dresses, which wasn’t really a thought I had since that brief period in middle school when I was “experimenting”, but it was fun nonetheless. Plus there was free Maker’s Mark. I’m sure if you go with the general public you won’t get free booze, which is a shame, cause anything is better with a little whiskey**.

The highlight of the evening, of course, was getting to put my arms around the REAL Marion Barry. I talked to him for a second, but unfortunately I couldn’t really make out what he was saying, as he seemed completely out of it. I guess the ravages of age, crack smoking, and wearing Kufi hats has taken its toll. I’m happy to report, however, that he was wearing cufflinks. I guess he had a secret stash somewhere that the thieves couldn’t find.

So the lesson here is: You can break into his home, you can catch him smoking crack on videotape, you can steal his cufflinks, you can hold a stupid sign next to his wax dummy, but you NEVER will bring down Marion Barry. There’s a reason he’s Mayor for Life. I’m just not sure what that reason is.

The museum opens to the general public this Saturday.

*The security actually laughed and did nothing when we got the picture. Evidently everyone thought this was as funny as we did.

**attending Church, going to work, taking a shower, etc.etc.etc.

p.s. if Julia Roberts’ cleavage smells like whiskey, yes, it WAS Jason.

Red Carpet:

 

Group Hug:

Just the 2 of us:

Kiss:

Then, past the security and the Booze:

Museum Shenannigans:

followed by:

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