Previous Posts in I Heart DC

Tales From The District: I Haggled With a Mugger

Tales From The District: I Haggled With a Mugger

February 8, 2008 by Lord Jason

As always, send in your weird, interesting, funny, harrowing, and heartwarming stories about living in this gem of a town to Lord Jason and Evan Keeling at talesfromthedistrict@gmail.com so they can turn them into the funny papers.

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Previously on Tales From The Disctrict:

The Crappiest Baptism
That’s Jovi-Licious!
The Christmas Pants Proposal
More from Evan: http://www.dcconspiracy.com

kingpinphoto Says:

Best one yet! I remember hearing this first hand. What a town.

February 8, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Svetlana Says:

and the he went to 7-11, ran into william and went to an afterparty.

February 8, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Michael Says:

You should have traded the $20, wallet, watch and cell phone for the gun, then taken the gun and shot them in their baby dicks, then taken your stuff back.

Then you would have your stuff, and a gun, and you could go rob other people for more stuff.

February 8, 2008 at 12:24 pm
adam Says:

the more i hear the term “baby dicks” used on this site the more i think the FBI is going to be monitoring it.

February 8, 2008 at 12:32 pm
KC Says:

That $20 was for my HOT DOG…
i was forced to charge it…
so i got 2 and filled one with button cheese and one with button chili…
and a diet coke.

February 8, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Lord Jason Says:

In all fairness, when we say “baby dicks” at BYT, we don’t mean baby pynis, we mean Babies that are assholes.

February 8, 2008 at 2:18 pm
Evan Keeling Says:

All babies are assholes.

February 8, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Michael Says:

speaking of assholes:

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com

February 8, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Lord Jason Says:

how come you haven’t wound up on that site yet? Or for that matter, how come I haven’t wound up on that site yet?

February 8, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Cale Says:

My company just paid me to spend an hour looking at that site.

February 8, 2008 at 3:38 pm
Michael Says:

Jason – neither of us is Orange, and neither of us hang out with hot chicks.

February 8, 2008 at 4:10 pm
eduardo ignasio Says:

i just looked at that site. the chicks are as douchey as the guys. they all look stoopid. the guy who started that site is a douche bag.

February 9, 2008 at 6:31 pm