all photos: Rachel Eisley
models: Brock Boss (of Ra Ra Rasputin, Lode Runner and The Regiment) and Jeff Jetton
You’ve got a lot going on. Between the getting there early for the free Sparks at that dance party at DC9 and some Brooklyn-based band’s show at the Rock and Roll Hotel, not to mention all the art openings and the free movies and all of that looking in the mirror (plus some of you even have jobs), how can anyone expect you to see ten floors of art?
That’s where BYT comes in handy. We will we show you how to see everything you need to see in only 15 minutes.
First, some inspiration:
Viewing the sheer magnitude of this much art requires proper preparation.
First off, drink two Redbulls. It will give you the boost (or wings or whatever) to climb 12 flights of stairs and run through 10 floors worth of thousands of artists. Although it might wreck your guts, it is a small price to pay for the sake of art.
You can’t possibly stop and see every single one of these artists. Not in fifteen minutes. Nor would you want to. You’ve got that pillow fight in Dupont Circle to attend or some underground skate park in Shaw to crash. We understand.
Always stretch before you run. This is important. We don’t need to tell you this. Cramping up is only going to impede your ability to successfully navigate the behemoth that is Artomatic. Don’t bonk.
Okay, you’re loaded on Redbull and your muscles are loose. Let’s go.
If you have an iPod, set it to any early Bad Brains album or something in the Speed Metal category (Pantera or Suicidal Tendencies will do). You’ll want something to break a sweat to. The first leg is going to be the hardest.
Toss five dollars in the donation bin (don’t cheese out on this, people) and grab a map.
No need to stop and chat.
Skip right past the ground floor.
You’ve already seen any band that’s going to play at Artomatic. And you’ve seen the performance space at the BYT Relaunch Party.
Hit the stairs.
Artomatic starts on the 4th floor, so you’ve got some steps to climb.
Floor 4
Highlights:
Cristina Montejo (NW Quadrant)
www.cristinamontejo.com
Floor 5
Highlights:
Jesse Thomas (SW Quadrant)
www.jess3.com
Annie Lunsford (NW Quadrant)
www.annielunsford.com
Floor 6
Stop. Take a breather in the Scion Lounge
Floor 7
Highlights:
Amy Marshall (NW Quadrant)
www.artsydaisy.net
Floor 8
Highlights:
Kelley A. Donnelly (SE Quadrant)
www.kelridgedesigns.com
Floor 9
Highlights:
Kirk Waldroff (NW Quadrant)
www.waldroff.com
Jeanette L. Herrera (NW Quadrant)
www.bluefacekiller.com
Steve Strawn (SW Quadrant)
www.splutphoto.com
Floor 10
Highlights:
Some demented Peeps exhibit. You know, the little marshmallow bunnies that explode when you microwave them.
If you’re a slow runner, you’re behind, skip this floor.
And start working out more. I mean really, it’s a fifteen minute work out. You’re pathetic.
Floor 11
Highlights:
Peter E. Harper (NW Quadrant)
www.peharper.com
Gregory Ferrand (NW Quadrant)
www.gferrand.com
You’re almost to the top. 1 floor to go!
Floor 12
Just stop and check out the view. And enjoy some pizza and beer. You deserve it. There it is. 15 Minutes. 12 Floors. 10 Artists. You get the idea.
A few notes:
There is a metal lion somewhere in Artomatic. You will want to touch it. His mane is made of bent drill bits. Do not touch it. The drill bits will fall off. You will be embarrassed. We tested this out for you.
There is an artist named Dana Ellyn at Artomatic. Not sure whether it is a man or a woman, or what floor the exhibit is on, but he/she had some of the best artwork there.
Stop by if time permits and you can find it.
www.danaellyn.com
And finally, hurry! Artomatic closes on June 15th
http://www.artomatic.org/
Previously in I Heart DC:
- 5/24: DC NEWS YOU CAN (MAYBE) USE...
- 5/23: DC News You Can (Maybe) Use
- 5/23: BYT Patio and Outdoor Dining Guide - Spring/Summer 2012
- 5/22: DC NEWS YOU CAN (MAYBE) USE...
- 5/21: DC News You Can (Maybe) Use
- 5/21: PHOTOS: Artomatic 2012 Opening
- 5/18: DC NEWS YOU CAN (MAYBE) USE...
- 5/17: DC News You Can (Maybe) Use
- 5/16: D.C. NEWS YOU CAN (MAYBE) USE...
- 5/16: Photos: Dance In The Circle @ Dupont Circle
God loves a cheerful giver.
bahahahaha. Awesome. Totally "no homo" and I love how Jeff views art indoors with sunglasses
Don't miss this stupendous Artomatic Happening next week peoples.
Cale I'm looking at you, brother nerd.
Dana is a woman and an awesome artist. A few years ago she did a painting a day for a year. All the pieces had newspaper clippings on the back and were some how related to that story. Pretty cool.
Lookin good dudes! The 4th floor pic is genius.
hahahaha!!! Great review!!! I can't wait to check out this year's Artomatic! I'm glad you guys chose Gregory Ferrand, he's one of my favorite local artists!
great pics! thanks for the love!!
What's with that dragon's neck flame?
Are you talking about the metal lion, cale?
Sure aint
http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l228/geo-gia/dragon3-2.jpg
i think the dragon had a tracheotomy
it's clearly a wing. TROGDOR!!!!!!!!
am i the only one who thinks that touching the art is not cool or am i being too uptight?
p.s. greg ferrand is awesome
usually, touching the art is a no no. but, our lovely models slightly took advantage of the fact that the floor monitor/guards were only sitting by the elevator and not able to watch their every move. i would say that our models slightly breaking the rules helped another art form to be created, which as the artist, i'm ok with. with sincere apologies to the lion's whiskers.
Gots to be the best review I have ever read! I seriously laughed my a** off...just wish I hadn't kept that-pack-a-day, bottle-a-night habit for so long, or I'd try this myself...
Remember that Halle Barry exhibit a couple years back? That shit was hilarious son.
freakin hilarious, you guys are retarded. Kudos on the big smile next to the gonads! 2 enthusiastic thumbs up
The penis artwork shot was the highlight of this article..thx for the 'tips'! {{LOL}}
hahahaha. so funny but the idea is great!!
i wanna visit that building tooo!~ maybe by using stairs all the way to the top!
well executed!
I'm a huge fan of the schlong. Runner up was the crazy Pope...You guys are rad. I miss DC.
If I did this jonx I'd totally start at the top and work my way down (it's easier to skip stairs going down than it is going up...isn't it?)
yeah, whatever. my comment made absolutely no grammatical sense anyway...
Jeff...you shouldn't drink that much Red Bull, it's not good for your heart. But good job, I'm proud of you! MOM
Cale don't even try to understand what's going on with this trollcrotch...
how fun!
I just saw this little show; thanks to Sean Hennessey! Both the steel lion and at the end Maasai warriors are mine! Those drill bits are hand twisted square steel rods misters. Have some respect LOL!!!!!!!!!
Great job guys, thank you.
don't forget 6th floor, totally fabulous artwork photographics of artist craig lammes photographerisms.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/craiglammes/sets/72157594376236451/show/
the penis makes me wet.
I love you too, Mom, but sheesh, we didn't have to express it here. You're embarassing me!!!
**embarrassing**
sorry, mom, I'm trying to make you proud.
that's me doing the birds recreation on 8. thanks for trying to tame those angry fowl