Brightest Young Things

Filling in as your regular food news round-up author eats all the clams in New England...

Be Famous: Emeril wants you to shriek "BAM" and burst into rapturous applause on cue. After Rachel Ray stole his slot and his lunch money, the masshole cajun is also looking to regain his hold on celebrity. If you "love to cook but have a tough time making heads or tails of what's in the fridge, or are wondering how to be eco-friendly while still deep-frying a turkey," apply to be on his new show.

Gin & Tonic: The Grog & Tankard was a total shithole.  Finally, the hall pass granted by lingering high school nostalgia has been revoked, giving rise to the Gin & Tonic. It still feels like the same bar. Same black-and-white floor, terrible back bar placement, battered walls/bathroom/everything and disfunctional sound system. The only difference is the cute-preppy bartenders in monogrammed polos, the  blaring 80s hits and the densely-packed crowds of khakis-loving Glover Park denizens. If the change is a bit too surreal, slide next door for some quality tacos at Ceviche. 2408 Wisconsin Avenue, NW; 202.333.3114

Fall Cocktails at Bourbon: A post on donrockwell.com reports that the Adams Morgan branch of Bourbon has revised it's cocktail menu. As bar manager Owen Thomson was one of the architects behind the short-lived Hummingbird To Mars, these drinks are probably worth checking out.

Fire in the Georgetown:The twenty-year-old Restaurant Piccolo, on 31st & M, was gutted by a fire on Monday evening. There were no reported injuries, but scattered reports have surfaced of a singed Lily Pulitzer.

Hill Expense Account Restaurant #4080: Article One has opened at the Hyatt Regency on the Hill. They're offering aged steaks, grilled fish, roast chicken and similar innocuous, but undoubtedly beautifully prepared, meat-and-potatoes staples. 400 New Jersey Avenue, NW; 202.719.8478.

Perpetual Motion: Just past 18th & Kalorama, next to the under-appreciated Las Canteras, sits a storefront that has clearly been hexed by one of the dudes hanging out at the B&K Newstand.  The latest restaurant with anniversary ambitions is Pi, brought to you by the owners of Saki & Chloe. It's a wine bar, with pizza, but given the ownership it's safe to assume that the decor will be slick and and the crowd will be well-groomed. 2309 18th Street, NW; 202.232.6146

Beer Nerdvana: Sure, it's not open yet, but set your ear to the rails and try to slip in for the soft opening of Churchkey, the 500-bottle plus lots and lots of taps bar coming to 14th St this month. It will be joined downstairs by the beer-centric gastropub "Birch & Barley," and both establishments come from the team behind the excellent VA restaurants Vermilion, Tallula and others. Sadly, this means that the doors of Titan's Ramrod will close, forcing their "bears, cubs, wolves and otters" clientele to find new dens.